Growing past church programs and activities is not easy
In a previous post, “Numbing our souls with church activities,” I said that church programs and activities keep us busy doing “good things” to the point that our souls become numbed to our real issues that we should be dealing with. However, recognizing the danger in filling our lives with programs and activities is only the first step, and the remaining steps toward growth are not easy.
To begin with, when we step away from the church programs and activities, we often learn that we don’t know how to serve people, to disciple people, to evangelize people, to teach people. All we know how to do is to attend programs. Even those who lead the programs often find themselves lost with the structures and confines of the program or activities.
This is probably most obvious when it comes to fellowship and activities. Often, those people that we feel closest to in the programs disappear when the program ends. We find that we do not really have relationships with those people. At the best, we have an acquaintance with one another.
It is a painful realization when we discover that we are actually very immature when it comes to service, teaching, evangelism, discipleship, and fellowship. The pain is enhanced for those of us who have been Christians for a long time. The pain, unfamiliarity, and discomfort often lead Christians to assume that it is wrong to move away from the programs and activities, and they begin to fill their lives with them again.
Once Christians grow beyond this stage, they began to form real relationships with other people. This is the next difficult step in growing past church programs and activities. Why? Because when we truly begin to grow in our relationships with one another, we learn people’s flaws as well as their strengths, and people learn about our flaws as well as our strengths as well. We can no longer hide behind church programs and activities.
Not only do we now have to learn to accept people in spite of their weaknesses, we have to trust other people with our own weaknesses. If we never reach this stage, then again our mutual growth will be hindered.
Once we are able to admit that we don’t truly know how to love God and others (because we had only been attending programs and activities), and once we admit that we don’t know how to build relationships with one another (we’ve only been acquaintances before), we are finally able to begin growing together.
The task is not easy. In fact, apart from Christ working in and through us by the Holy Spirit, the task is completely impossible. However, as we surrender ourselves to Christ together and learn to listen to, encourage, admonish, and help one another, we will find amazing growth toward maturity in Christ as a group.
No preaching, but plenty of teaching, encouragement, and discussion
I studied Act 3 last week. Why? Because as a church we’ve decided that we are going to study Acts together. So far, we studied through Acts 2 together, so yesterday we were planning to study Acts 3.
I was not scheduled to teach. In fact, another one of our brothers had said that he wanted to lead our study through Acts 3 yesterday. But, I studied anyway. Why? Because it’s not just “the teacher’s” responsibility to teach. So, I prepared to meet with my brothers and sisters by studying the passage during the week.
So, when we gathered together yesterday, it was clear that the one teaching was not the only person who had studied the passage. It was clear that he and I were not the only ones who had studied the passage.
I learned alot from the brother who had agreed to teach us. But, I also learned alot from several other brothers and sister who added what they had learned from the passage.
In fact, since I was able to hear from different people with different perspectives based on their own study, their experiences, their situation in life, and many other factors, I think I came away with a broader understanding of that passage.
And, I was challenged… man, was I challenged. What an example Luke provided for us in Acts 3!
We finally had to stop talking about the passage after an hour or so. But, of course, the conversation and encouragement continued in smaller groups of 2 and 3 while we ate lunch together.
So, no one preached Sunday. No one brought a monologue lecture. But, there was plenty of focus on Scripture with plenty of teaching, encouragement, and discussion!
I need help serving my neighbor
Last Saturday was a bad day for me. I think I caught some kind of stomach bug. I’ll spare you the details.
But, Saturday evening, I received a phone call that was very encouraging!
A friend of mine called and told me about his neighbor. I knew a little about her already from talking with him before. She had recently experienced a couple of deaths in her immediate family, and she was not handling it well.
This neighbor had welcomed my friend and his family into her life. But, as my friend told me, they thought they needed help. The lady was open to meeting and talking with more people. Did I have any suggestions?
We talked about possibilities for a few minutes, then he said that he would bring it up with the church Sunday. He would ask our brothers and sisters if they had any suggestions on how his family could better serve this neighbor. He would also ask them if they would be willing to spend time with his neighbor.
Unfortunately, my unwelcomed visitor decided to stay with me through Sunday morning, so I did not meet with the church. I know that my friend talked about his neighbor, but I don’t know what was said.
Last night, some other friends invited Margaret (my wife) and me out to dinner. There were six of us all together. Guess what one of the topics of conversation was? Our friend’s neighbor. (And, no, I didn’t bring up the topic.)
I think something special happens when the church (as a whole) gets involved in someone’s life. Some call it “belonging” before “believing.” I call it taking Jesus Christ to people through his community.
What do you think? Have you ever been part of a church or group of believers who served someone together like this? Have you ever been served or helped in this way?
When there are more thorns than roses
Recently, I read a post that encouraged people to tell both sides of their “church experience.” While I was thinking about this, I received an email encouraging the same thing. I think this is a good idea. I usually write about the “good” of our church life. I plan to write posts from time to time about the “bad” and the “ugly” of our church life. We all have them; I think it would be good to share them.
The last week to ten days have been especially tough for us. Last week, a friend died. Another friend’s uncle died. Another friend’s sister was in a coma in ICU. This week, a friend’s niece was in a car accident and has a brain injury.
Times like these are always tough on people who want to help, to care, to serve, to love. But, when you’re part of a small group of Christians, and you can’t sit back and wait for someone else to do something, it can get even tougher.
And, of course, the huge issues listed above are piled on top of the normal aches and pains and troubles and issues and work and school and sickness and arguments and questions that families and friends face every day.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained… that’s the best way to describe our family over the last few days. And, I can’t imagine what the people who actually faced the death, illness, or injury in the family are going through.
I love the people that God has surrounded me with. All of them have stepped up to serve those who are hurting. But, sometimes, when your group is small – when there are only a few people in your church – there are more hurting people than arms to wrap around them. Sometimes, there seems to be more thorns than roses.
People recognize shallow relationships among the church
Yesterday, I received a “heads up” about a recent survey conducted by Crosswalk.com. The results of the survey are revealed in an article titled “Crosswalk.com Survey: Lack of Connection Biggest Reason Christians Leave Church.”
Here are a few interesting points/quotes from the article:
- 34% of people who attend church leave because of a lack of personal connections there.
- One participant who voiced his discouragement with his church body said, “There is no depth in relationships. People did not have time to be friends to other members.”
- 18% have abandoned a church because they felt unwelcome, and 16% stated their reason as an inability to connect with others.
- 53% agree that the primary reason they currently attend a place of worship is because of the friendships they’ve established.
Now, we can argue about terms like “place of worship” or “abandoned a church,” but let’s not miss the big picture here. People recognize the importance of true relationships. I’m not talking about smiling people who wave and pat you on the back on Sunday morning.
Instead, people are interested in real relationships, in spending time with others – and, generally, the hour or two on Sunday morning does not count (unless of course, Sunday is in the context of Sunday-Saturday). Do you care about them enough to change your busy schedule and include them in your life?
That’s what we do with family. We make time for them.
How does our church meet together (Part 2)
Last week, I wrote “How does our church meet together (Part 1).” In that post, I described what happened when our church gathered together on Sunday, April 3, 2011. I also said that our next weekly meeting (April 10, 2011 – 2 days ago), would be somewhat different.
In this post, I’m going to describe how we met together last Sunday. We’ve met like this several times during the last year, and most people seem to enjoy it tremendously.
Again, people begin arriving just before 10:30 a.m. This time, instead of setting up our chairs in two concentric circles, we set up several tables with chairs around each table. Again, people brought food with them as they arrived.
Around 10:30, we all found seats around the table and began singing a few songs. This time, instead of someone choosing songs for us to sing, each person was given an opportunity to suggest a song for us to sing. The person would also explain why he/she wanted to sing that particular song.
After singing a couple of songs, we read through the book of Colossians again. We’ve been reading through and studying the book of Colossians together for several weeks, and this was to be our last week of studying Colossians. Different people read different parts of the book.
Then, we sang another couple of songs, and I led us through a review of what we had studied so far. This review was extremely interactive. Afterward, one our younger brothers – a 13 year old – had prepared a teaching on Colossians 4:7-18, so he led us in studying that passage as part of our ongoing study. As he stepped through the passage, other people also taught/shared from their own studies.
Next, we broke a loaf of bread and passed it around to begin our meal together. As we ate the bread together, several people “remembered” Jesus by sharing about the significance of his broken body. Then we continued the meal by eating lunch together around the tables. As we ate, each table discussed amongst themselves the significance of what we had learned from the letter to the Colossians.
After we had eaten, a few people from each table shared what they had talked about with the whole group. Then we continued encouraging one another as a group. Eventually, again, this resulted in people asking for prayer, and someone praying for them.
After praying for a while, we passed around the juice (no, we don’t use wine). As we filled our cups, different people “remembered” Jesus and the significance of the cup of the new covenant. By this time, it was about 1:30 p.m., and we had been meeting together for about 3 hours.
Even after drinking from the cup together, many people hung out for a long time. Some of us then went to a local park to play volleyball together.
While the “format” of this meeting was different from the one before, the purpose was the same. We met together to help one another grow in maturity in Jesus Christ.
How does our church meet together? (Part 1)
Occasionally, I like to share examples of how we meet together as a church. Why? Because that’s the number one question that I’m asked by people who meet me and find out that our church is a hybrid – somewhere between an organic church and an institutional church. While most of our life together is organic and relational, many aspects of our weekly meeting (not other meetings) are carryovers from our more traditional beginnings.
By the way, this is “Part 1” because next Sunday we will be meeting together in a completely different way. I’ll tell you about that meeting next week in “Part 2.”
We have decided to rent a small store front to meet in on Sundays and for other uses throughout the week, and we have decided to start meeting at 10:30 a.m. on Sundays (except when we go to the beach or park or somewhere else together). So, a little before 10:30 people start arriving. As they arrive, some start setting up chairs, while others chat with one another or pass out hymnals, song sheets, etc. This Sunday, we set the chairs out in two concentric circles.
As people arrive, most of them bring food, because they know that we are planning to eat together. How do they know? Because we do this every week. Sometimes we plan bigger meals (like we did last Sunday), or sometimes people just bring sandwiches, soups, or whatever. Most people bring enough to share so that we can invite others to join us even if they didn’t bring food.
Around 10:30 – the exact time is not as important to us – everyone begins finding a seat, and someone “kicks off” our meeting. Since I was planning to facilitate our teaching last Sunday, I started our meeting off by asking people if they had anything they wanted to share from Colossians. We have been studying Colossians for a few weeks, and several people made very good and challenging observations.
One of our brothers who plays guitar led us in a few songs. There were a couple of hymns and a couple of newer songs. In the middle of singing, we stopped to read through Colossians. We read the entire book, with different people taking turns reading different sections of the book. After reading Colossians, we sang a couple more songs.
We had scheduled to study Colossians 3:5-4:6. So, I started the teaching time by doing a brief review of the first part of Colossians that we had already discussed in previous weeks. Then, another brother taught for a few minutes on the first part of our passage for the week. I continued the teaching, asking for and receiving input from the church. We took the passage paragraph by paragraph, and often returned to previous sections of the book or other parts of Scripture to help us all understand something. (By the way, I was not the only one referring to other parts of Colossians or Scripture.)
Once I had completed what I wanted to teach, the church continued discussing the passage. Many times, people would talk about specific applications to their own lives, or they would make a connection to something that had already been said.
As is usually the case, the discussion of Scripture resulted in people asking the church to pray for them about certain things. We would stop then and pray. We spent alot of time asking for prayer and praying for people.
By this time, it was about 12:30, so we started moving the chairs around and setting up tables. We have several round tables and a few rectangular ones. Once the tables were set up, we broke a loaf of bread and shared the cup (actually several cups). We talked about how Jesus Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins and to invite us into the new covenant with God.
Once we shared the bread and the cup, we continued meeting around the tables while we ate lunch together. This time of food and fellowship and encouragement lasted until about 2:30 or so when people started cleaning up, clearing the room, and heading home.
(By the way, that wasn’t the end of our time together for most of us. Many people continued to spend time with one another during the day. For example, my daughter and I joined other families and friends at a local park for a game of kickball.)
If you have any questions or comments about our meeting, I’ll be more than happy to answer or respond. We’re always open to learning and growing and trying new ways to meet together. Like I said, next Sunday we will meet together in a completely different way. You can read about that meeting next week.
I’m so proud of these teenagers!
A group of teenagers, including my children and some very close friends, have been meeting together to eat and study Scripture for the last few months. A young college student has been helping them study the Bible, and he often provides the meal as well or he arranges with one of the parents to provide dinner.
But, last night, they did not get together to study the Bible. Instead, they got together to help each other live out what they had been studying.
A few days ago, they learned (from someone else) that an elderly couple needed help with yard work and with some things around the house. So, these teenagers (along with some friends they had invited) went to the elderly couple’s home and raked leaves, mowed the grass, moved furniture, and did a few other odds-and-ends for them.
I am so proud of them! It is one thing to meet and eat together. But, there is something special about teenagers willing to give up their evening to serve someone who can never return the favor.
What great examples to the rest of us!
Which one was church?
Last Friday evening, some friends invited us to their house. Another family joined our two families. We had dessert (cookies, brownies, cheesecake) and talked about our week and what had been going on in our lives.
Saturday evening, we invited some new friends and an old friend who was in town for the day to dinner. We went to one of our family’s favorite restaurants, which happens to be a Thai restaurant. Again, we talked about life in general. Since the new friends had recently moved into town, we talked with them alot about their move and getting adjusted to their new situation.
On Sunday morning, our family joined several other families in a place we rent specifically for meeting together. We sang some songs. We discussed Scripture. We prayed for one another. We ate lunch together. (Our family had meatball subs provided by another family.) We talked about life and the struggles that we’ve been going through.
Which of those meetings was church?
None of them. The church is not a meeting. But, in each case, believers were gathered together, so the church of Jesus Christ was present.
Did we act like the church should act in each case? That’s a different question. We were the church, and so we should seek to build each other up whenever we meet together. This is true for an impromptu gathering of friends in a house or restaurant (or park or beach or anywhere else). It is also true for a planned gathering.
In each case, we were able to get to know one another better and help one another with our walk with Christ.
Studying Colossians Together
Our study of Colossians is going great so far. We’ve read through the whole book each of the last two Sundays that we’ve met together. Then, we’ve studied a particular passage in detail each week.
The first Sunday, we studied Colossians 1:1-14, and the second Sunday, we studied Colossians 1:15-2:5. The first Sunday turned out to be more of a lecture with less discussion, although there was certainly some very good discussion. The second Sunday was more discussion oriented.
Each week while I was studying the book and the particular passage, there were certain things that I wanted to bring out. It is very exciting to see how God is teaching me through the perspectives of my brothers and sisters as they also study the book of Colossians and bring out different parts of the letter.
You see, I’ve always heard that the “preacher” (the person teaching a particular passage) gets more out of a study than the audience. Well, I think that is only true when the “preacher” is the only one speaking or teaching.
I don’t consider my teaching style to be “preaching” – and trust me, none of my preaching professors at seminary would confuse it with “preaching.” But, even when I teach, I also want to learn. And, I don’t mean that I only want to learn from my own personal studies.
Therefore, when I teach, I am not the only one speaking. I always encourage others to teach, comment, question, etc. That way, we learn even more than if I was the only person talking.