Becoming family in Christ together
As I’ve mentioned several times on this blog, I believe that the authors of Scripture used familial language when speaking to and about other Christians for one important reason: they recognized that they were truly family with other believers.
This was not simply the use of familial language for the purpose of rhetoric or persuasion. Instead, they recognized that they were all in a new relationship with God as their father, which automatically placed them in new relationships with one another. Since God was the father of all of them, then they were all truly brothers and sisters.
All of us have, from time to time, found it difficult to live as family with other believers. All of us – regardless of what “type” of church you are part of, or how you meet together, or the type of leadership involved, or what kind of organization and structure exists in the church.
Thus, we can all use help in learning to live as family with one another. Obviously, the work of the Holy Spirit in each of our lives is necessary for us to grow in our relationships with God and with one another. So, the Spirit’s role in becoming family is extremely important.
There are also some very practical steps that we can take to provide opportunities to share our lives with other people and, therefore, to start living as family.
What advise would you give to someone who told you that they wanted to learn to live as family with other believers?
When the church becomes family, everything changes
There are many ways that Christians interact with one another. They relate as acquaintances. Sometimes, they interact as employees and employers. They look at one another a volunteers or as people who share membership in an organization.
But, I think something changes (drastically) when we become family. I’m not talking about tacking the titles “brother” or “sister” onto someone’s name. I’m talking about truly being family, actually being and living as brothers and sisters of one another, with God as our father.
The way that we talk to each other changes. The way that we think about and care for one another changes. What we expect of each other (and ourselves) changes.
When we become family, everything about our life together will change. Of course, when we become family, we will actually have life together.
The problem is, apart from being and living as family, the scriptural instructions and descriptions concerning our life together (i.e., “love one another,” “serve one another,” “forgive one another,” “teach one another”) are always misconstrued. These instructions and descriptions only make sense within familial relationships.
Of course, in Christ, we are family. The question now is, will we recognize and live out our familial relationships with one another?
What do you do when you can’t find fellowship with others?
Because I write about church and fellowship and community, I get alot of emails from people who are truly interested in finding fellowship and sharing their lives with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Some of these people are seeking simple churches and some are part of more institutional churches.
I just ran across this post by Wayne at “Lifestream Blog” called “Loneliness in the Journey.” Wayne also gets emails from people asking about finding fellowship. (In fact, I’m sure that he gets much more email than me, and for very good reasons.)
I thought that Wayne’s response to an email from someone seeking fellowship was very good. I especially liked this last part:
But be assured of this, Father knows the fellowship that he wants to bring into your life. Look where you can, but beyond your own abilities, know that he is at work. Right now I suspect God wants you to learn dependence in him so when others come along, you can find the friendships that trust in him allows as people encourage each other to live loved. It is a process. I know this isn’t the easiest part, but as you get through this season you’ll find it well worth it…
It’s not easy when you want (and know you need) fellowship with other believers but find that it’s just not there. There are certainly steps you can take to open up opportunities for fellowship and sharing life.
However, the most important thing that you can do is trust God. Know that he loves you more than you know, and that he will bring people into your life. Look for those people.
How does our church meet together? (Part 1)
Occasionally, I like to share examples of how we meet together as a church. Why? Because that’s the number one question that I’m asked by people who meet me and find out that our church is a hybrid – somewhere between an organic church and an institutional church. While most of our life together is organic and relational, many aspects of our weekly meeting (not other meetings) are carryovers from our more traditional beginnings.
By the way, this is “Part 1” because next Sunday we will be meeting together in a completely different way. I’ll tell you about that meeting next week in “Part 2.”
We have decided to rent a small store front to meet in on Sundays and for other uses throughout the week, and we have decided to start meeting at 10:30 a.m. on Sundays (except when we go to the beach or park or somewhere else together). So, a little before 10:30 people start arriving. As they arrive, some start setting up chairs, while others chat with one another or pass out hymnals, song sheets, etc. This Sunday, we set the chairs out in two concentric circles.
As people arrive, most of them bring food, because they know that we are planning to eat together. How do they know? Because we do this every week. Sometimes we plan bigger meals (like we did last Sunday), or sometimes people just bring sandwiches, soups, or whatever. Most people bring enough to share so that we can invite others to join us even if they didn’t bring food.
Around 10:30 – the exact time is not as important to us – everyone begins finding a seat, and someone “kicks off” our meeting. Since I was planning to facilitate our teaching last Sunday, I started our meeting off by asking people if they had anything they wanted to share from Colossians. We have been studying Colossians for a few weeks, and several people made very good and challenging observations.
One of our brothers who plays guitar led us in a few songs. There were a couple of hymns and a couple of newer songs. In the middle of singing, we stopped to read through Colossians. We read the entire book, with different people taking turns reading different sections of the book. After reading Colossians, we sang a couple more songs.
We had scheduled to study Colossians 3:5-4:6. So, I started the teaching time by doing a brief review of the first part of Colossians that we had already discussed in previous weeks. Then, another brother taught for a few minutes on the first part of our passage for the week. I continued the teaching, asking for and receiving input from the church. We took the passage paragraph by paragraph, and often returned to previous sections of the book or other parts of Scripture to help us all understand something. (By the way, I was not the only one referring to other parts of Colossians or Scripture.)
Once I had completed what I wanted to teach, the church continued discussing the passage. Many times, people would talk about specific applications to their own lives, or they would make a connection to something that had already been said.
As is usually the case, the discussion of Scripture resulted in people asking the church to pray for them about certain things. We would stop then and pray. We spent alot of time asking for prayer and praying for people.
By this time, it was about 12:30, so we started moving the chairs around and setting up tables. We have several round tables and a few rectangular ones. Once the tables were set up, we broke a loaf of bread and shared the cup (actually several cups). We talked about how Jesus Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins and to invite us into the new covenant with God.
Once we shared the bread and the cup, we continued meeting around the tables while we ate lunch together. This time of food and fellowship and encouragement lasted until about 2:30 or so when people started cleaning up, clearing the room, and heading home.
(By the way, that wasn’t the end of our time together for most of us. Many people continued to spend time with one another during the day. For example, my daughter and I joined other families and friends at a local park for a game of kickball.)
If you have any questions or comments about our meeting, I’ll be more than happy to answer or respond. We’re always open to learning and growing and trying new ways to meet together. Like I said, next Sunday we will meet together in a completely different way. You can read about that meeting next week.
Community Ingredients: Follow Jesus
In the introductory post of this series, I explained that I was going to examine necessary ingredients for a group of people to become a church community as described by the authors of Scriptures. In the second post, I said that the first necessary ingredient is Jesus, not facts about Jesus, but the real, living, empowering person Jesus. In the third post, I said that Jesus must be the only basis for community, if the church desires to live as described in Scripture.
When I first began thinking about community, I did not think about it in this fashion. Instead, I started with things like “love one another”, “forgive one another”, “care for one another”, “serve one another”, “build up one another”, etc. etc. etc. These responses are very important, but I’ve since learned that they responses must follow in the correct order.
If we begin with the response (love, forgive, care, serve, etc), then we become responsible for the community, both building it and holding it together. The success or failure (or depth or superficiality) of the community depends upon our ability to properly respond to one another.
However, I’ve since understood that our community depends primarily on our response to Jesus Christ. The way that we respond to him (both individually and corporately) will shape the community (or lack of community) among the people that we know. In fact, that way that we respond to Jesus Christ directly impacts the way that we respond to one another.
Please understand this, because it is very important. If we do not respond to one another in love, forgiveness, care, service, or edification, it is because we are not responding to Jesus Christ in a manner that is worthy of him and the gospel. Thus, if we are not living in community with one another, it is a reflection of our fellowship with Jesus Christ.
Now, the responses are extremely important, but they are secondary to the primary source and foundation of community, which as I’ve said before is Jesus Christ. If we understand that the responses are secondary, then it helps us keep Jesus Christ as our focus. “Successes” will cause use to praise Jesus, and “failures” will cause us to turn back to him and cling to him even more.
So, where do the responses come from? They come from following Jesus. As we live in him (abide/dwell in him, walk in him) and he lives in and through us, then our responses become the responses of Jesus. Scripture certainly helps us to understand Jesus and how the early church responded to him. The Spirit also guides us into a way of life that honors God through Jesus Christ, and he empowers us to respond in a manner worthy of him.
With any group of people, there will be problems. There will be relational friction. There will be pain and hurts and a lack of trust. We will not be able to rely on our own ability to love, care, serve, forgive, or edify others. Instead, we must humble ourselves (die to ourselves) and continually turn back to Jesus Christ so that he can respond through us.
Community Ingredients: Only Jesus
In the introductory post of this series, I explained that I was going to examine necessary ingredients for a group of people to become a church community as described by the authors of Scriptures. In the second post, I said that the first necessary ingredient is Jesus, not facts about Jesus, but the real, living, empowering person Jesus.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Alan, you’ve already written a post about how Jesus is the first and most important ingredient for a group of people to become a church community as described in the New Testament. So, why is this post called ‘Only Jesus’?”
No, I haven’t lost my mind, and I didn’t forget that my previous post was about Jesus. But, in order for the church to become community (as described in Scripture), Jesus must not only be the most important ingredient, he must be the only community ingredient.
Almost every church that has ever existed would agree with my previous post and the point that Jesus must be the most important aspect of that church’s community. They would agree that all of the believers who are part of that church must have Jesus in common.
However, this post could cause problems. Why? Because most churches are not willing to stop at Jesus being the center of their community. Instead, they will add something else, such that they require Jesus and something else. That “something else” might be a statement of faith (creed/confession), or a certain meeting location, or a leader or group of leaders, or local church membership, or anything else around which a group of people might gather.
The authors of Scripture make it clear that we are to join together in Jesus Christ alone. He is the head of the church; nothing else comes close. He is the life of the church; nothing else comes close. He holds the church together; nothing else comes close.
I think Paul says it best when he told the Romans, “Whoever serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men” (Romans 14:18) and “Therefore accept one another as Christ has accepted you, for the glory of God.” (Romans 15:7) If someone is accepted by God, then we are to accept that person as a brother or sister in Christ.
If we require anything else, then we are placing man-made requirements above the requirements of God.
Jesus Christ is the first and most important ingredient in order for a group of people to become a church community as described in Scripture. And, on top of this, Jesus Christ must be the only ingredient necessary for the group in order for that group to grow into a community.
Community Ingredients: Jesus
In this series, I’m examining several ingredients that are necessary for a group of people to live as community. However, I’m not interested in just any type of community. Instead, I’m interested in determining some “ingredients” necessary for believers to live together as community in the way that the church is described in the New Testament. (See my introductory post here.)
The first necessary ingredient is Jesus. Yes, I know, that sounds obvious, right. But, we cannot take this for granted.
Apart from Jesus Christ, there is not community (i.e., church community). Apart from Jesus Christ, there is no church.
Without Jesus, there can be meetings, organization, leadership, education, programs, singing, good works, community care, etc. But, without Jesus, there will never be community as brothers and sisters like we read about in Scripture.
In fact, if you remember from my introductory post, a community is a group of people that have something in common. For a church community (like what is described in Scripture) the common factor is Jesus Christ. He is not just an ingredient for church community; he is THE main and most important ingredient.
There are communities that are formed around location, interests, politics, hobbies, sports, entertainment, etc. A community can have almost anything in common. That common factor is the basis on which the people join together and relate.
For the church living in community (as described in the NT), that common factor is Jesus Christ.
I am not talking about a particular teaching about Jesus Christ, or an historical account of Jesus Christ. Instead, I am talking about the person of Jesus Christ, who according to Scripture is alive and present and powerfully working in those whom he has redeemed and reconciled to God.
If community were actually a recipe, then Jesus would be the beef in the meatloaf. He would be the chicken in the chicken parmigiana. He would be the pork in the barbecue. Without the meat, chicken, or pork, the dishes that I listed would not work. There would be no meatloaf without the beef, no chicken parmigiana without the chicken, and no barbecue without the pork.
The same is true for church community. Without Jesus, community as described in the New Testament is possible.
Read this carefully: Without Jesus, community IS possible, but NOT the community as described by the New Testament authors when they wrote about the church.
Community Ingredients
Last week, Eric from “A Pilgrim’s Progress” suggested that (at least) knowing one another’s name is “A Good Test of Community.” Of course, Eric is right. You can’t be a community if you are strangers.
As a follow-up, in my post “Community Checklist,” I asked what else (besides knowing one another’s name) should be present in a group of people that are a community.
In this short series, I’d like to consider this last question: What characteristics describe a group or people that are living as a community?
This list will not be exhaustive, but I believe it will be necessary. What I mean is that, besides the things that I list, other characteristics or practices may be necessary for a group to live in community, especially in a given context. However, I also believe that the things that I’m going to discuss also must be necessary. For each characteristic I will explain why I think that characteristic is necessary.
Before I begin listing these “ingredients,” I need to define what I mean by “community.” For this series, I’m going to use the following definition: A community is a group of people that have something in common. However, I’m going to limit my definition to the description of the church as described in Scripture. Thus, we are looking for “community” as we see in the church in the New Testament.
Yes, there are negative descriptions of the church in the New Testament. But, the authors of Scripture make it clear that in these particular instances, the church is not living with one another as they should. In those cases, the authors point out what is wrong, and they attempt to help the church change so that they are living in community as they should.
So, what are some of the characteristics of the believers who are described as living in community with one another by the authors in Scripture? In this series, I will attempt to identify some of the most important characteristics (“ingredients”) of a church that is living in community with one another.
Community Checklist
My friend Eric at “A Pilgrim’s Progress” wrote a good article this week called “A Good Test of Community.”
In the post, Eric says that we cannot be living in community with people if we do not know their names. In other words, sitting in the same room weekly (or even more often) with strangers does not a community make.
So, a better title for Eric’s post might have been “A Good Test for Not Having Community.” Why do I say that? Well, because if you do not know each other’s name, then you are certainly not living in community with one another. But, knowing everyone’s name is not an indication of community either.
But, this got me thinking… again, I like posts that make me think. What else would we say should be present if we are living in community with one another? We can start with knowing one another’s names. But what else?
Studying Colossians Together
Our study of Colossians is going great so far. We’ve read through the whole book each of the last two Sundays that we’ve met together. Then, we’ve studied a particular passage in detail each week.
The first Sunday, we studied Colossians 1:1-14, and the second Sunday, we studied Colossians 1:15-2:5. The first Sunday turned out to be more of a lecture with less discussion, although there was certainly some very good discussion. The second Sunday was more discussion oriented.
Each week while I was studying the book and the particular passage, there were certain things that I wanted to bring out. It is very exciting to see how God is teaching me through the perspectives of my brothers and sisters as they also study the book of Colossians and bring out different parts of the letter.
You see, I’ve always heard that the “preacher” (the person teaching a particular passage) gets more out of a study than the audience. Well, I think that is only true when the “preacher” is the only one speaking or teaching.
I don’t consider my teaching style to be “preaching” – and trust me, none of my preaching professors at seminary would confuse it with “preaching.” But, even when I teach, I also want to learn. And, I don’t mean that I only want to learn from my own personal studies.
Therefore, when I teach, I am not the only one speaking. I always encourage others to teach, comment, question, etc. That way, we learn even more than if I was the only person talking.