A people who live in fellowship with God
Occasionally, I come across a post or paragraph that really makes me stop and think… ok, so that happens often. And, I’m glad that it happens often.
But, when I read “God’s eternal purpose is found in the church life” by Josh (at “Called to Rebuild“), I really resonated with what he said.
Now, when some read the term “church life” they think about attending events and participating in programs at a certain building, but I’m pretty sure that’s not what Josh is talking about. In fact, this paragraph pretty much guarantees it:
For the past three years I have had the privilege of living and gathering with a small company of believers for whom life in Christ is more than a private, individual affair. We have gone through many seasons, had our fair share of highs and lows, and learned that Christ is found in the mundane aspects of life as well as the spectacular. Being built together in this way is worth its weight in gold, if you ask me. I so appreciate the church life, and I’ve come to see that this is the very heartbeat of God. The church life is the very center of His purpose and the end of all His activities. What God is ultimately seeking to obtain is a people who live in fellowship together with Himself.
Here’s the thing, as John told us, when we share life (fellowship) with one another, then we also share life (fellowship) with God. (1 John 1:3) If we are sharing in God’s life, then he is not only leading us to other believers, but he is also leading us out into the world.
When we share life with God, we are both gathered and sent. And, as Josh pointed out, this (gathering and sending) often happens when we fellowship with God in “the mundane aspects of life”
Going to the Beach! One of our church traditions that I hope we keep.
For the past four or five or six (my, the years keep speeding by) years, our church has gone to the beach together one Sunday during the Summer.
Guess what? We’re doing it again this coming Sunday! We’ll leave here early Sunday morning and spend most of the day at Wrightsville Beach.
We’ll hang out under pier, play in the sand and surf, eat together, and, hopefully, talk with and encourage one another while we’re getting to know each other better.
I’m excited that some friends who are part of other churches in the area are joining us this year! We’ve all be working together doing various things the past few months. And, they’ve decided to join us at the beach!
If you’re in the area of Wrightsville Beach, NC and want to hang out with us, we plan to be there around 11:00 a.m. and stay through the late afternoon. Some of us may even stop by a favorite rib joint on the way home.
This is definitely one church tradition that I hope we keep!
There was not a needy person among them
As I’ve said before, we currently studying the Book of Acts together as a church. So far, we’ve studied through Chapter 5.
During the last two weeks, we’ve talked about Acts 4 and Acts 5.
Of course, at the end of chapter 4 and leading into chapter 5, there is a passage related to fellows believers caring for one another. It is a radical passage – it is an completely selfless passage. The selflessness of the passage is demonstrated by the remarkable occurrences of the first half of Acts 5.
This is part of the passage that I’m talking about:
There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. (Acts 4:34-35 ESV)
On the day of Pentecost following Jesus’ resurrection and ascension, the Holy Spirit descended on 120 of Jesus’ disciples. They began to proclaim Jesus Christ as the Messiah and Son of God, and they proclaimed salvation in his name.
Many repented, believed, and were baptized as a result. The Spirit drew them all into a new family bond with one another. They discovered a new kind of fellowship in the Spirit of God. This fellowship resulted in sharing everything. They shared their time and food and possessions. (Or as Tertullian supposedly said later, “We have everything in common except our spouses.”)
When a new brother or sister was in need, someone took care of that need from their own property. When someone was hungry, that person was fed. When someone needed clothing or housing, that need was met. They considered their relationships with one another as more important than their own physical well-being or their material possessions.
Today, caring for those in need is left to government agencies or parachurch organizations. Christians tend to give a little money and consider the problem shifted to others. The American Dream has replaced the concern for other Christians who are in need.
According to John in his first letter, the fellowship that we have with one another is actually fellowship with God the Father and with Jesus Christ. This fellowship is produced by the Holy Spirit in the lives of those who submit to God’s rule in their lives. Fellowship in the Spirit is marked by denying self in order to give to others.
This is not “radical” Christianity. This is fellowship resulting from the indwelling Holy Spirit.
Just think again about the result of that fellowship: “there was not a needy person among them.” Can we say that today? Could the fact that there are needy persons among us today indicate a lack of fellowship? (And, no, I’m not talking about just your “local church.”)
Please take anything from the refrigerator
James at “Deliver Detroit” wrote a very good post called “Are other people allowed in your refrigerator?”
I had never thought about it before, but the refrigerator is a special and private place withing a home. There is something special about being offered the use of the refrigerator.
When people stay at our home, we often say something like, “You’re welcome to anything that’s in the refrigerator.” (The joke’s on them, because the fridge is often empty.)
James says this about the refrigerator in his home when he was growing up:
Having many friends from the neighborhood over frequently, the house was common ground to most who passed through. But, the fridge was not to be opened by those who did not reside in the house. Our home operated on a budget and a single income, sometimes even on state or federal assistance, making the contents of our fridge very valuable indeed. The refrigerator door was not to be opened by those who were not residents of the home, and those who did would be quickly reminded not to enter the forbidden fridge zone.
He ends his post with this:
For me, true Christian Fellowship can be seen in the privilege of access to your brothers and sisters refrigerators. Even more so, fellowship is established mutually. A refrigerator full of leftovers is not a blight on your reputation when you truly desire to have others see you as you are. Commonality exists in the content of our relationships, and is truly fostered in Christ-like conformity when we allow our guards to go down and the doors of our refrigerators to swing open. Even though it is easier to just have someone serve you from their refrigerator themselves, we miss out on much of the value had in earning the trust and love in genuine relationship with others. When all things are in common, the relationship becomes more important than the possession, and that last piece of cheesecake truly belongs to any who desires it. My fridge is your fridge.
What do you think? Is the refrigerator “sacred space” in most homes? Do you share the contents of your refrigerator?
Replay: You don’t know me but I’m your brother
Two years ago, I wrote a post called “You don’t know me but I’m your brother.” No, the post was not about the famous Doobie Brother song, although I am humming the song to myself as I type this. The point of this post is that we are related to one another through our common relationship with God. Because of that, we should seek fellowship and unity with one another. “Unity among brothers and sisters in Christ is not just a good idea. It is one of our primary arguments and our primary evidences that Jesus Christ is God’s Son.”
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You don’t know me but I’m your brother
We were made for community. It is difficult to read any part of Scripture without recognizing this important fact. We were made to fellowship with God and with one another.
Unfortunately, we often don’t take the time to build relationships with one another. And, when we do start building relationships, we often stop when it becomes a struggle. In fact, that struggle – or “<a href=”http://www.alanknox.net/2007/09/depths-of-community.html”>relational friction</a>” as I’ve called it before – is an indication that we finally beginning to form a relationship. We’re finally starting to get down below the surface into the depths of community.
It is there in the depths – below the surface level – that we begin to understand that “love one another” includes loving those who are not like us and don’t believe like us and sometimes aren’t even pleasant to be around. It is there in the presence of relational friction that we truly begin to understand what it means to forgive one another, bear with one another, accept one another, live in peace with one another. Unfortunately, too often, before we can even begin to live in the reality of these “one anothers”, we give up on the relationship all together and look around for someone who is more like us so we can be “like minded”.
There is a reason that Paul wrote a letter to the church in Philippi exhorting them to have the “same mind”. What reason? Because it’s not easy – it’s not natural – at least, not in our fallen state. There is a reason that Paul wrote a very personal letter (Philemon) about a very personal problem (a runaway slave named Onesimus) and addressed that letter to several people and the entire church that met with Philemon. What reason? Because we naturally want to protect ourselves and our own interest. We need help to look beyond ourselves to see the benefit to the kingdom of God.
We use our doctrines, our creeds, our confessions, our interpretation, our denominations, our leadership, our structures… many man-made things in fact… as excuses to separate from other believers. Or, if we don’t outright separate, then we use these things as excuses to choose who we will form relationships with and who we won’t form relationships with. We would prefer to sit in an auditorium on the other side of the city filled mostly with strangers than to deal with the relational friction caused by differences with those who live next door to us.
Why? Because we don’t allow God to form our primary identity. Oh, we say that we’re brothers and sisters in Christ, but we live as if we’re second cousins at best. We says that we all have God as our Father, but we would prefer it were not so.
Guess what? We don’t choose our brothers and sisters… God does. And we are specifically told (in the context of doctrinal differences) to accept others just as God accepted them in Christ Jesus (Romans 15:7).
The person across the street who is a brother in Christ… is our brother in Christ, and it is our responsibility – as much as depends on us – to foster a relationship with him. The person who works in the office who is a sister in Christ… is our sister in Christ, and it is our responsibility – as much as depends on us – to foster a relationship with her. This is true for every believer that God brings into our life. Yes, everyone of them. Will we have the same depth of relationship with all of them? No. But, that’s not the point. Our relationships with our brothers and sisters should be growing and deepening – even with those who disagree with us. If we’re looking for excuses to stay away from a brother or to not relate a sister, then there is a problem with us… not with them.
Unity among brothers and sisters in Christ is not just a good idea. It is one of our primary arguments and our primary evidences that Jesus Christ is God’s Son and was sent into the world to redeem the world (John 17:20-24). We should grieve over the fact that we have lost this argument and evidence. Then, we should seek the unity of the Spirit – he is providing if we will simply live in it.
Without church programs, we can still serve together
In two of my previous posts, I talked about the danger of being busy with church programs and activities, and the difficulty that we often face when moving away from these types of programs. (See my posts “Numbing our souls with church activities” and “Growing past church programs and activities is not easy.”)
In church programs and activities, the program or activity is the unifying force. Without the particular class or project, the people involved would probably not work together. And, when the class or project is complete, the people who were involved often don’t interact with each other much anymore. (Granted, people who have relationships with one another can be involved in programs and activities together. But, these relationships are generally not built through the classes or projects.)
However, this does not mean that we should not serve, teach, disciple, and evangelize together. In fact, I believe this is a very important part of our life together as the church. As we share life together (fellowship) in Christ, the Spirit will (super)naturally lead us to people who need help. These people may be strangers, but they will often be acquaintances or friends of people who are part of our group. Thus, we serve through our relationships with Christ and one another toward ourselves (in teaching, discipling, serving, etc.) and others (in evangelizing, serving, etc.).
The difference between serving through church programs and serving through relationships may be undetectable to those outside the groups. In either case, the person being served only knows that a group of people seeks to help and love them, hopefully in the name of Jesus Christ. (Of course, the difference would be obvious to someone who is part of the group.)
However, the difference is very important to the people who are actually working together to serve, teach, evangelize, etc. Why? Because maturity in Christ comes through our mutual fellowship with one another – that is our relationships with Jesus Christ and with one another. We do not grow in maturity simply because we do certain activities together or at the same time.
And, even more, maturity is to be a continuing and consistent process. Groups of Christians that serve through their relationships will continue to relate to one another after that particular act of service is complete. In this way, we get to know one another – our strengths and weaknesses – and are able to continually help one another through various opportunities to serve together.
This ongoing aspect of these relational groups (relating to Christ and to one another) is extremely important. We grow in maturity in Jesus Christ as we are interconnected with one another, not merely when we do thing together. It takes time and consistency for this type of interconnection and interrelation.
In relational service, the particular act of service is not as important as the people involved – either the people serving or the people being served. The group will gladly add to, modify, or stop certain acts of service for the benefit of the people. Again, this is different than most church programs or activities, which are usually continued even if they are no longer effective.
So, while most of us may be more familiar and more comfortable serving, teaching, evangelizing, discipling, etc. through certain church programs and activities, it is not only possible but preferably to serve together through relationships.
Growing past church programs and activities is not easy
In a previous post, “Numbing our souls with church activities,” I said that church programs and activities keep us busy doing “good things” to the point that our souls become numbed to our real issues that we should be dealing with. However, recognizing the danger in filling our lives with programs and activities is only the first step, and the remaining steps toward growth are not easy.
To begin with, when we step away from the church programs and activities, we often learn that we don’t know how to serve people, to disciple people, to evangelize people, to teach people. All we know how to do is to attend programs. Even those who lead the programs often find themselves lost with the structures and confines of the program or activities.
This is probably most obvious when it comes to fellowship and activities. Often, those people that we feel closest to in the programs disappear when the program ends. We find that we do not really have relationships with those people. At the best, we have an acquaintance with one another.
It is a painful realization when we discover that we are actually very immature when it comes to service, teaching, evangelism, discipleship, and fellowship. The pain is enhanced for those of us who have been Christians for a long time. The pain, unfamiliarity, and discomfort often lead Christians to assume that it is wrong to move away from the programs and activities, and they begin to fill their lives with them again.
Once Christians grow beyond this stage, they began to form real relationships with other people. This is the next difficult step in growing past church programs and activities. Why? Because when we truly begin to grow in our relationships with one another, we learn people’s flaws as well as their strengths, and people learn about our flaws as well as our strengths as well. We can no longer hide behind church programs and activities.
Not only do we now have to learn to accept people in spite of their weaknesses, we have to trust other people with our own weaknesses. If we never reach this stage, then again our mutual growth will be hindered.
Once we are able to admit that we don’t truly know how to love God and others (because we had only been attending programs and activities), and once we admit that we don’t know how to build relationships with one another (we’ve only been acquaintances before), we are finally able to begin growing together.
The task is not easy. In fact, apart from Christ working in and through us by the Holy Spirit, the task is completely impossible. However, as we surrender ourselves to Christ together and learn to listen to, encourage, admonish, and help one another, we will find amazing growth toward maturity in Christ as a group.
Numbing our souls with church activities
Church people are busy. Sundays are obviously filled with activities. In most churches, there are also weekday Bible studies, evangelism classes, choir practice, activities for teenagers and children, Moms groups, Men’s meetings, outdoors enthusiast clubs, discipleship classes, and any number of additional activities.
A few years ago, when we started meeting together, we decided to forgo almost all of these programs. In fact, we only scheduled one weekly meeting for the church, and we decided that meeting would take place on Sunday mornings.
Something interesting happened when our calendars began to empty… and our lives became less busy. We had to deal with real issues, personal issues, relational issues, marital issues, parenting issues, financial issues, etc.
Why were people not dealing with those issues before? Because they had been so busy with church activities that they were able to hide those issues from others and, often, from themselves. They were busy doing church things – which were certainly God things, right? – that they did not have time to think about what was really going on inside and among themselves.
In some ways, our souls were numbed to all of the painful issues that we should have been dealing with, because we were so busy doing good things.
In fact, we soon found that even though we were taking part in evangelism classes, we were not really sharing the gospel. Even though we were part of Bible studies and discipleship classes, we were not learning and living Scripture or discipling one another. Even though we were taking part in classes for children, teenagers, moms, and dads, our families were not strong and were not maturing together in Christ. Even though we were spending time together, we were not actually relating to one another.
Our lives and our families and our relationships were not filled with Christ. The only thing that was filled was our calendars.
When we stopped pretending that we were doing good things – that is, when we stopped attending classes and programs – we learned how empty our lives really were, and we began to look for the reality of life in Christ with one another. Now, we had time to love and serve and evangelize and grow and mature together.
This may sound great to some of my readers, but I have a warning for you. Those classes and programs were acting as an anesthetic, numbing our souls. When we cleared our calendars, we did more than free our time. We also disclosed to ourselves, to our families, and to one another the emptiness and pain that was hidden within. This part was not fun.
But, I’m convinced that the church will not grow until we face these hidden hurts; until we accept that we don’t know how to love and serve and evangelize and care and share and grow and mature. We don’t know how, because we’ve never taken the time to learn. We’ve never taken the time to learn because we’ve been too busy doing good things – church things.
But, in reality, those good church things were numbing our souls and keeping us from growing.
Guest Blogger: Not Alone in Feeling Alone
I’ve invited several people to write “guest blog posts” for this blog. There are several reasons for this: 1) To offer different perspectives. 2) To generate even more discussion and conversation between blogs. 3) To introduce other bloggers to my readers.
(If you are interested in writing a guest blog post, please contact me at aknox[at]sebts[dot]com.)
Today’s post was written by Dan from “The Ekklesia in Southern Maine.” You can also follow Dan on Twitter and Facebook.
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So Alan asked me to write a guest post for his blog. I asked him what he wanted me to write about and after saying “the church” which didn’t really narrow things down too much, he asked me, “What is the one thing you would want to say to my readers?”
“You are not alone.” That is the thing that I want to say to you. You are not alone, even when it feels like it. Many readers on this blog see the value of community and meaningful relationships among the Body of Christ. Many readers on this blog have faced resistance when trying to implement those things into their lives and into the group of believers they are part of. That can be very discouraging and often very lonesome. I know. I’m there.
Some of you may have gone to seminary with Alan, and may have had the opportunity to be part of the great community of believers that he is part of in that area. You may have left school thinking that you would find something or be part of something similar when you arrived wherever you were going. If you are like me, you quickly found out that it wasn’t going to be that easy. Strong, community-minded bodies of believers are not found around every corner, and very often they are not as equipped to integrate new people as the one in this community.
Others of you may read about all this stuff and think, “I would move anywhere for this,” or, “This is all wonderful, but completely utopian and unrealistic.” You have never been part of any kind of real community of believers. You have never seen pastors who step aside (or more like “step in”) and let the congregation minister to each other. You find all the talk of these wonderful things to be so far from your experience that you never expect to see it in real life.
One thing is certain, for both of these groups of people, it can be extremely discouraging to read of (or remember) the wonderful blessing of being part of a community of believers who encourage each other to grow in Christ – who laugh together, cry together, and live together – and then look around yourself and see nothing like that.
I had the opportunity to observe this kind of community when I was at seminary with Alan. I never really put the effort into being part of that group. But I saw how they treated each other, and it was really quite wonderful. I saw how people were growing together and helping each other along, and it seemed like such a great expression of the love of Christ among his body.
Then I moved back to Maine. I had stuff going on in my life at the time, and I wasn’t interested in people being close to me. It was a couple of years before all that stuff settled down and I started to really desire to be part of a community of believers, for me, for my wife, and for our kids. That was over a year ago now. We have spent time with many nice people, we have even visited a couple of “house” churches. The people either lived too far away, or the “house” church was just like everything else we had already seen from the institutional church: we all met on a certain day, sang some songs, talked about the Bible, ate some food (this was a nice addition to the traditional service!), and went our separate ways until next weekend. Obviously not the community or “shared life” we were thinking of.
The struggle is that being part of a close community of believers is hard work. You can’t just go to a once-a-week service. You have to take time to spend with those people, care about those people, and make an effort to share your life with them. This is hard and something I am not very good at. It is even harder when there aren’t a group of people already doing that, a group that you can integrate yourself into.
There are lots of other reasons that this is so difficult, but suffice it to say that it’s hard. I think that there may be quite a few people that read this blog, and think that they are the only ones who can’t make this happen, who can’t find and be part of this kind of community, who want to be the church as Christ called us to be but just don’t know how. You are not the only one. It is hard for many of us, and many of us, myself included, are nowhere near anything like that. We are no longer content with traditional church structures and “Good morning brother, how are you?” type relationships. But we can’t seem to find the deeper relationships, the more meaningful fellowship, and mutual edification. So, ironically, in our pursuit of more honest and meaningful relationships with our brothers and sisters, we end up alone and alienated.
I could give you “the answer,” but I don’t have it. We have Christ. We are never alone, but sometimes it sure can feel that way. So when you are feeling discouraged and disappointed about where you are, just know that you are not alone in feeling alone.
Am I the only one who struggles with this? Why do you think it’s so hard? Are you part of a community of believers and still feel this way sometimes?
When Sunday is just one day out of the week
As I’ve mentioned previously, our church is currently studying Acts together. Last Sunday, we worked our way through most of Acts 2. Next Sunday, we’re planning to finish that chapter.
Of course, Acts 2 includes this amazing summary of the new life that those first believers shared in Christ:
And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47 ESV)
Did you notice that twice Luke writes “day by day”? And, beyond that phrase, notice the number of descriptions that require close and constant interaction: “they devoted themselves” (literally, “they kept on being faithful to…”), “were together,” “had all things in common,” etc.
These early disciples did not see each other on Sunday and then live the rest of the week separated from one another. They were intimately connected with one another’s lives – right away! This does not necessarily mean that they gave up everything else in their lives. It means that they included one another in every aspect of their lives.
It is so much different today. Today, if Christians see each other in the crowd on Sunday, then that’s enough. If we also see each other on Wednesday night, then we call it a close relationship. If we grab a plate and scarf down our food quickly before prayer meeting, then we call it fellowship.
But, in our neighborhoods? In our work places? In our schools? At the park? No. We don’t hang out with one another in those places… only in the church building for church sanctioned programs.
The focus on Sunday (and the church building and the church program and church leadership) is killing the church.
But, when Sunday becomes just another day out of the week, and we learn to actually share our lives with one another throughout the week, wherever we are, and whatever we’re doing, we will see new life – the life of Christ through the Spirit – coursing through the church again. Why? Because when we fellowship (actually fellowship) with one another, we are truly fellowshiping with God the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ. (1 John 1:3)
(No, this post is not about honoring one day above others – which would have been a reference to Saturday, the Sabbath. In the early church, even those believers who honored the Sabbath above other days ALSO shared their lives with one another often during the week, not just on that one day.)