What do you do when you can’t find fellowship with others?
Because I write about church and fellowship and community, I get alot of emails from people who are truly interested in finding fellowship and sharing their lives with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Some of these people are seeking simple churches and some are part of more institutional churches.
I just ran across this post by Wayne at “Lifestream Blog” called “Loneliness in the Journey.” Wayne also gets emails from people asking about finding fellowship. (In fact, I’m sure that he gets much more email than me, and for very good reasons.)
I thought that Wayne’s response to an email from someone seeking fellowship was very good. I especially liked this last part:
But be assured of this, Father knows the fellowship that he wants to bring into your life. Look where you can, but beyond your own abilities, know that he is at work. Right now I suspect God wants you to learn dependence in him so when others come along, you can find the friendships that trust in him allows as people encourage each other to live loved. It is a process. I know this isn’t the easiest part, but as you get through this season you’ll find it well worth it…
It’s not easy when you want (and know you need) fellowship with other believers but find that it’s just not there. There are certainly steps you can take to open up opportunities for fellowship and sharing life.
However, the most important thing that you can do is trust God. Know that he loves you more than you know, and that he will bring people into your life. Look for those people.
If a person has called on the name of the Lord, I must be willing to fellowship with them
Last week, I asked the question, “What caused you to start studying the church?” There were several great comments on that post. Also, because of that post, I met several new people.
One of the people who commented on that post was Will from “Rochow.ca.” As a follow-up question to one of his comments, I asked Will if he was still able to fellowship with people who are part of institutional churches.
I loved Will’s reply, and I asked him if I could highlight it here as a post. So, here is Will’s comment:
Just because I no longer attend the traditional institutional church, does not mean that I don’t fellowship very regularly; actually significantly more than I did while in the institutional church. When I tell people that, the ones who most often have a difficult time grasping the concept are those who are still involved in these traditional institutional systems.
On one of my blogs I have a caveat that says that while I have no use for institutional church systems, the people within those systems I continue to love and care for as much as God enables me to (you can find those blogs on my website). But I still haven’t answered your question. Unfortunately, sometimes people misunderstand and think that my speaking against an institution is a word spoken against them. When this happens, it is usually because so much of their identity is wrapped up with that “place.†Therein is the problem; Christianity was never supposed to be about a “place.†Jesus isn’t a “place.â€
Am I still able to fellowship with those who don’t share my views? Not only am I able to, but I often do exactly that. The only initial difficulty, normally, is on their part, not mine. While I’m open to fellowship with whomever is interested, regardless of their background or denominational affiliation (and I totally disagree with denominationalism), they are the ones who usually tend to have issues with it.
Why? I think it has to do with the fact that many people still cannot get their heads around the fact that there are many active and God-fearing and Jesus-loving and fellowship-seeking Christians out there who no longer go to institutional churches. They rationalize that, if you are a Christian, then you “go†to church. I would argue, on the other hand, that if you are a Christian, then you “are†the church. How can you “go†to that which you “are?â€
Most of those I fellowship with on a regular basis have long since stopped going to institutional churches. Having said that, there are also a number of believers who, while still regularly going to those churches, also gather with us on a semi-regular basis. I also am involved with the Christian motorcycling community, most of whom also still go to institutional churches. This has not created a problem for me, nor for most of them. We have all been saved and love to spend time together.
What constitutes a saved believer? Institutional church affiliation? Belonging to one denomination over another one? Tithing? Mode of baptism? Speaking in tongues, or, not speaking in them? None of the above. Rather it is simply, as Peter said in Acts 2:21, “And EVERYONE who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.†So the criteria for fellowship is one: has that person called on the name of the Lord? If so, I MUST be willing to fellowship with them. This is not an option. Nor is it simply a suggestion.
John 3:8 says, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.†If we are truly born of the Spirit, and listening to Him, it may be that on Sunday morning He leads us to such-and-such an institutional church. It may also be that He leads us to a nursing home to spend time with an elderly saint. It may be that God leads us to a park, because that is where He will sovereignly cross our path with someone else that He wants us to talk to. The point is, are we really open to going where he leads us to go and when He calls us to do so? I wonder sometimes.
There is a great video (about 10 minutes long) by Simple Churches. If you haven’t seen it yet, it is on my homepage of my website. I think it will answer a lot of questions that your readers may have on this topic.
Hope I’ve answered your question. Sorry if this dragged on too much. I guess you never really take the sermon out of the preacher.
God bless.
Your brother in Christ,
Will
Those of you who have read my blog for a while know how important unity among the body of Christ is to me. Will’s comment is a great example of how brothers and sisters can still reach out to and fellowship with those who disagree with them.
May we all learn from Will’s example.
How does our church meet together? (Part 1)
Occasionally, I like to share examples of how we meet together as a church. Why? Because that’s the number one question that I’m asked by people who meet me and find out that our church is a hybrid – somewhere between an organic church and an institutional church. While most of our life together is organic and relational, many aspects of our weekly meeting (not other meetings) are carryovers from our more traditional beginnings.
By the way, this is “Part 1” because next Sunday we will be meeting together in a completely different way. I’ll tell you about that meeting next week in “Part 2.”
We have decided to rent a small store front to meet in on Sundays and for other uses throughout the week, and we have decided to start meeting at 10:30 a.m. on Sundays (except when we go to the beach or park or somewhere else together). So, a little before 10:30 people start arriving. As they arrive, some start setting up chairs, while others chat with one another or pass out hymnals, song sheets, etc. This Sunday, we set the chairs out in two concentric circles.
As people arrive, most of them bring food, because they know that we are planning to eat together. How do they know? Because we do this every week. Sometimes we plan bigger meals (like we did last Sunday), or sometimes people just bring sandwiches, soups, or whatever. Most people bring enough to share so that we can invite others to join us even if they didn’t bring food.
Around 10:30 – the exact time is not as important to us – everyone begins finding a seat, and someone “kicks off” our meeting. Since I was planning to facilitate our teaching last Sunday, I started our meeting off by asking people if they had anything they wanted to share from Colossians. We have been studying Colossians for a few weeks, and several people made very good and challenging observations.
One of our brothers who plays guitar led us in a few songs. There were a couple of hymns and a couple of newer songs. In the middle of singing, we stopped to read through Colossians. We read the entire book, with different people taking turns reading different sections of the book. After reading Colossians, we sang a couple more songs.
We had scheduled to study Colossians 3:5-4:6. So, I started the teaching time by doing a brief review of the first part of Colossians that we had already discussed in previous weeks. Then, another brother taught for a few minutes on the first part of our passage for the week. I continued the teaching, asking for and receiving input from the church. We took the passage paragraph by paragraph, and often returned to previous sections of the book or other parts of Scripture to help us all understand something. (By the way, I was not the only one referring to other parts of Colossians or Scripture.)
Once I had completed what I wanted to teach, the church continued discussing the passage. Many times, people would talk about specific applications to their own lives, or they would make a connection to something that had already been said.
As is usually the case, the discussion of Scripture resulted in people asking the church to pray for them about certain things. We would stop then and pray. We spent alot of time asking for prayer and praying for people.
By this time, it was about 12:30, so we started moving the chairs around and setting up tables. We have several round tables and a few rectangular ones. Once the tables were set up, we broke a loaf of bread and shared the cup (actually several cups). We talked about how Jesus Christ died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins and to invite us into the new covenant with God.
Once we shared the bread and the cup, we continued meeting around the tables while we ate lunch together. This time of food and fellowship and encouragement lasted until about 2:30 or so when people started cleaning up, clearing the room, and heading home.
(By the way, that wasn’t the end of our time together for most of us. Many people continued to spend time with one another during the day. For example, my daughter and I joined other families and friends at a local park for a game of kickball.)
If you have any questions or comments about our meeting, I’ll be more than happy to answer or respond. We’re always open to learning and growing and trying new ways to meet together. Like I said, next Sunday we will meet together in a completely different way. You can read about that meeting next week.
We want to be with people we care about
Wayne from “The Lifestream Blog” has written an excellent article called “Finding Fellowship.”
In this post, Wayne is answering an email from a reader who is struggling with some “church” issues. The reader asked several questions, but most of them originated in Hebrews 10:25.
Here is part of Wayne’s response:
Believers who love each other will get together. That’s what friends and family do. My kids and grandkids get together every week or two. We don’t do it because we have to, because we’re trying to form a family, or any other reason other than we love each other and enjoy being together. Community is like that too. When we have people we care about we will be together. What so many groups miss is that the relationship must take precedence over the meetings. Meetings are a byproduct, not the method or the goal. If we’ll engage caring relationships first and begin to find a common heart together over dinner and evenings together as friends, we will find time to gather together as that network expands. I think it’s backwards to start a meeting first and hope friendships grow out of that. They can, but rarely do. I’ve been to many home groups where people meet together regularly but it is obvious they don’t really care about each other, spend time with each other beyond the meeting, or are truly friends in Christ.
Think about what Wayne said. I do believe it’s possible (though difficult) for friendships to develop from a meeting. However, I think the meeting must be of a form that encourages friendships and interrelation and not of a form that discourages or hinders relationships.
But, primarily, think about the main message that Wayne is trying to get across: If we care about people, we will want to spend time with them. If we love people and are concerned about them, we will want to meet with them. No one will have to force us or coerce us to meet together.
Pretty straightforward… and very true.
Empathizing together
According to one definition, “empathy” means “understanding and entering into another’s feelings.”
When trying to empathize with hundreds of needy and hurting people in the same place at the same time, it can become overwhelming. I’ve felt that sense of being overwhelmed many times, especially when working with the food pantry where 300-400 families come every other week for help. As I talk to the different people and hear their stories, it can become very overwhelming.
But, I’ve learned that empathy (even empathizing with many people at once) can be less overwhelming when there are others there empathizing with them as well. Last week at the food pantry, several friends joined together to talk with the people who needed the extra groceries. We all talked to people, heard their stories, prayed with them. Sometimes I talked to people alone; sometimes others were with me. But, either way, it was a great encouragement knowing that we were serving people together.
The stories we heard were difficult – heart-breaking. But, we were able to help one another bear these burdens.
Yes, sometimes empathizing with others can be overwhelming. But, when serving with a group, you can encourage one another even when you are overwhelmed.
Daily, sacrificial, authentic, missional living
Mark at “renrutkram” has written an excellent post called “What is ‘outreach’?”
While Mark recognizes the “big events” in scriptural examples of proclaiming the gospel, he says these one times events (Paul preaching at Mars Hill, for example) are always combined with relationship and community which is “evidenced throughout the Scriptures.”
How does that apply to us today? Should community and relationship be evidenced throughout the church today? Yes, even though it is difficult. Mark says:
In my own life, daily discipleship is much harder than one-time events. I don’t particularly mind large, attraction-based, event-oriented evangelism (though I question their effectiveness in today’s culture). However, one-time evangelism must be accompanied by daily, sacrificial, authentic, missional living. I find it much harder to mentor a student weekly than take teenagers to camp once a year. It is much more time-consuming to volunteer in the local middle school than throw a Superbowl party. I have to be vulnerable when I share my life with other people and that scares me. When you share life you share success and failure, strengths and weaknesses.
By God’s grace I will strive to demonstrate the gospel not just once in a while but every day.
Yes! Do you want to host a “big event”? Great! But, do you have the “daily, sacrificial, authentic, missional living” that must go along with it? If not, then the “big event” will soon fizzle into a faded memory.
But, with “daily, sacrificial, authentic, missional living” the gospel is brought to bear on everything that we do, with or without a “big event.”
It’s not easy. In fact, it is absolutely impossible, which is why God works through us in his power when we serve others for him.
Dave Black’s essay on “The Lord’s Supper”
In response to a new book about the Lord’s Supper, Dave Black has written a short essay called “The Lord’s Supper, Then and Now.”
Did you know that the way you partake of “The Supper” demonstrates what you believe about God, Jesus, and the church? It’s true.
In his essay, Black spells out several aspects of modern practices of the Lord’s Supper that are radically different (perhaps even contradictory) to the way the church ate a common meal together as described by the NT authors.
This paragraph is my favorite:
Is it too much to hope that our churches today might return to this biblical model? How can we start to overcome our lethargy? We can only do this, as I have said, when we return to a commitment to obedience. Wherever the church honestly faces its task to be scriptural in all its dealings, believers will discover new ways and means of restoring modern practices to their ancient models. Acts 20:7 underscores this point. Here Luke speaks of a meeting of the church in which the focal point was not a sermon but a common meal. This was apparently the common practice of the early church whenever they gathered on “the Lord’s Day.†Today we gather for “worship†and occasionally tack on the Lord’s Supper almost as an addendum. I imagine this would have appeared very strange to New Testament eyes! The early church knew nothing of worship services or worship centers or worship teams or worship folders. Nor were the earliest gatherings of Christians “top heavy,†leaving the ministry to a handful of selected professionals. Theirs was a one-class society – all saints, all priests, all members of the Christian brotherhood with Christ as their only Head. This is why, I surmise, the Lord’s Supper was so important to them. The Supper offers us an occasion to focus on our Great High Priest, the church’s only Senior Pastor (see 1 Pet. 5:4). Moreover, it seems that the Lord’s Supper was a full meal in New Testament times. Indeed, if we ask ourselves what the word “supper†means, we find that the Greek word used is deipnon, which generally refers to the chief meal of the day. Such is its meaning consistently in the pages of the New Testament. Would it be too radical to suggest that the way in which the Lord’s Supper was observed in the early church – as a full meal – could also be replicated today?
I’ve found that, yes, it is possible for churches today to begin eating the Lord’s Supper as a full meal. But, it is radical, because several things had to change (things mentioned by Black above) before this was possible.
Stained Glass Masquerade
Have you heard the Casting Crowns song “Stained Glass Masquerade”? Here are some of the lyrics:
Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so smallCause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belongSo I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see themAre we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
Arthur from “The Voice of One Crying Out in Suburbia” reminded me of this song with his post “Hiding behind our suits and smiles and status updates.” Arthur concludes his post with this:
The way we do church, gathering on schedule for an hour to “worship†leads to people hiding their hurting behind smiling faces and their Sunday best. We are rarely honest with each other because we spend so little time together. We need to get out of the pew and get into the lives and homes and families of other believers. We need to see what is going on behind the smiles because no one I have ever met really has it as together as they seem “in churchâ€. Brothers sharing over a cup of coffee, mothers sharing during a playdate, families spending time with other families. That is fellowship and community. Almost anyone can fake it for an hour and look happy. Those who can’t won’t come because they feel out of place. We need to shed the artificial world of church and get the church out of the building so we can see one another at our worst, not just at our best.
Have you and the people you meet with been able to shed the artificial “stained glass” world that Arthur is writing about? If so, there are hurting people who need to know how you did it. And, there are people out there who have never experienced this kind of openness that need to hear your example.
How did you and those in your fellowship move past artificiality into the messy realm of reality?
Hanging out with friends
You probably know this already, but we like hanging out with friends. And, for the last week or so, I have been struggling with a bad cold, cough, stuff and haven’t been able to hang out with anyone.
So, now that I’m feeling a little better, we’re planning to spend time with our friends all weekend long.
Tonight, a couple has invited us to their house for dinner. We helped them move into their first house several weeks ago, and we’re looking forward to enjoying their hospitality again!
Then, tomorrow – Saturday, we’ll be spending all afternoon and evening with another friend from out of town. But, I’ll tell you more about that tomorrow.
And, Sunday, we’ll be meeting together with alot of friends in our weekly scheduled church meeting. I wasn’t able to join them last Sunday because of my cold/cough. My friend Jim will lead the teaching time as we continue to study through James. We’ll be in James 4 this Sunday.
So, this will be a weekend spent with friends. It should be great fun and very edifying! Are you spending time with any friends this weekend?
Implications of the Headship of Christ
Josh at “Called to Rebuild” as written an excellent article called “Christ the Key Ingredient.”
He begins with what he says stands out above everything else: “The absolute centrality and supremacy of Jesus Christ as Head over all things.”
Beginning with the headship of Christ, Josh steps through several implications, including love for, fellowship with, and unity with other followers of Jesus.
Concerning that unity, Josh writes:
Once I began to know this kind of unity I knew I could no longer denominate myself from other believers. I became convinced that this experience-this bond of life and fellowship-was the answer to all our questions and all our seeking. So I became hungry for more. And eventually I realized that to know this kind of fellowship on a daily basis-which is what the New Testament envisions-I was gonna have to live close enough to my brothers and sisters that we could see each other as regularly as we wanted. No more driving to “church†thirty minutes away, having a couple hours of fellowship (if I was lucky), then having to return home and try my best to survive the rest of the week all alone as a Christian. No. I would spend all my moments within the community of the redeemed, for this is where the Christian life is meant to be lived.
When we began to consider the implications of the headship of Christ – along with his presence – we truly begin to see the church and others in a different light.
What has changed in the way you view other believers because of the headship and authority of Jesus Christ?