Finding Community
I get alot of emails because of this blog. In the majority of the emails, the authors ask some form of this question: “How do I find community like you describe?”
I often describe the life that we share with our brothers and sisters in Christ. The life that we share today – the community – is different than anything that I’ve ever been part of. And, according to the emails that I get, it’s different from what many people experience as part of churches today.
We’ve been sharing life together with some people for more than five years now… and we’re still learning what it means to be family. We’re still learning what it means to relate to one another as brothers and sisters with God as our father.
But, we had a benefit. We were part of a church that moved from being event-centered and program-centered to being people-centered and relationship-centered. We had the benefit of working through the changes together. It took time and grace and tears and hope and failure and victory… it took big things and small things… and alot of food.
Many of our friends have moved, and when they move, they often struggle with finding community. Even though they have been part of a close relational group (and perhaps partly because they have been part of a close group), they struggle finding believers interested in sharing their lives in a similar way.
So, I’m asking you for help. What would you say to someone who is moving to a new location (or perhaps is in a location with few – or no – close friends)? What encouragement would you give them for building close relationships with other believers? How would you help them find community?
All in the Family
Last week, my friend Eric at “A Pilgrim’s Progress” wrote a very good post last week called “It Doesn’t Take a Village… It Takes a Family.” Eric was responding to Hillary Clinton’s statement that it takes a village to raise a child. Instead, Eric said that it actually takes a family – specifically, a church, which is the family of God.
In his post, Eric talks about the church as family. He says:
The church should be a family. Because of this, everyone in the family ought to know everyone else. They should be familiar with each other’s strengths and weaknesses, interests, talents, hopes, struggles, etc. In this setting, adults have a tremendous opportunity to positively influence children. This happens through both word and deed. Parents may be wise, but they don’t hold all the wisdom in the world. They need help and can benefit a great deal from the wisdom of their brothers and sisters in Christ. An encouraging and/or challenging word from an adult can edify a child a great deal.
Unfortunately, for many groups of believers, they are family in name only. They call each other brother and sister, but usually live separate lives, only seeing one another during official church meetings.
Over the last few years, we have tried to learn to live as family. True, we are not biological family. But, there are times when our relationship with on another (because of our mutual relationship with God as Father) makes us closer than biological family. We have learned and continue to learn how to share our lives with one another, both in big things and in small things.
I was able to witness a small part of this last weekend when one of my young brothers turned thirteen. His birthday party including people his age, people younger than him, and (predominantly) people older than him. We talked about how it takes the entire family – both biological and also spiritual – to raise a young man as a disciple of Christ. (By the way, the picture today is from his party.)
As a father to two children, this means that I must not only allow but also encourage my children to build deep spiritual relationships with other mature followers of Jesus Christ. I should also encourage other believers to develop relationships with my children.
Regardless of how good of a father I am, my children need more than me. Regardless of how good Margaret and I are as parents, our children need more than us. They need familial relationships with their brothers and sisters in Christ. They need relationships with more mature followers of Jesus who can help them in their walk. They also need relationships with less mature believers who they can help in their walk.
Eric is right. It doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes God’s family to raise a disciple.
Missional Stew
Two years ago, as part of a synchroblog with 50 other bloggers, I wrote a post called “Missional Stew.” The purpose of the synchroblog was to flesh out a definition of the term “missional.” For my post, I simply threw in a few ingredients that I think are necessary for a true missional stew. What do you think?
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Rick at “The Blind Beggar” suggested a synchroblog to discuss the definition of the term “missional” (see his post “Call for Missional Synchroblog“). To be honest, I don’t know how much I’ll be able to add to this discussion. I’ve only recently begun to consider the meaning and implications of being missional. However, I’m looking forward to reading the other posts, and I encourage my readers to read and consider what other people are saying about the term “missional”.
When I was growing up, the “regional” airport in a large city near us decided that it wanted to steal some of the air traffic away from ATL (Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport). Over several years, there were studies and consultants and budgets and votes. Eventually, the airport made a huge decision – they decided to change their name from “regional airport” to “international airport” – as if changing the name would change who they were.
I think many followers of Jesus Christ may be attempting to add “missional” to whatever they already doing. But, adding the label “missional” to their meetings and programs does not make them missional. So, what does “missional” mean?
Several bloggers will be posting and defending their definitions of the term “missional”. To be completely honest, I don’t know exactly what it means. Instead of offering my own definition of “missional”, I thought I would throw a few ingredients into the stew (so to speak). In other words, whatever “missional” means or how “missional” is applied to someone’s life, I think it should include these things (not a comprehensive list):
Gospel: “Missional” is dependent upon the Gospel – the good news of Jesus Christ. I’m not talking about a “gospel presentation”. I’m talking about living a life that is reconciled to God through the finished work of Jesus Christ and the continuing work of his Spirit. It means recognizing that just as God has reconciled us to himself, he desires to reconcile “all things” to himself.
Relationship: “Missional” is relational. I don’t see any other way around it. God includes his children in his mission toward other people. It is a relational mission – both relationship with God and relationship with one another and relationship to the world.
Intentionality: “Missional” requires intentionality. I do not see how someone can be accidentally missional. This does not mean that missional activities are always pre-planned – they can be spontaneous. But, spontaneous acts of mission can still be intentional.
Cost: “Missional” is costly. This does not mean that you are being missional by only giving money. However, it does mean that living a missional life will cost you money, time, and energy, among other things. It may even cost your reputation (especially among religious types).
Love: When I originally wrote this post a couple of weeks ago, I did not include “love” as an ingredient in my missional stew. Why? Because I thought “love” was obvious. However, after further thought, I think “love” needs to be a part of any definition of “missional” – both the love of God and the love of others – both the love of other believers and the love of those who are not followers of Jesus.
Like I said earlier, I’m looking forward to reading more posts that actually define the term “missional”. I hope that many of them include some of these ideas.
The Church: The Character of God’s Family
This week, I’m publishing a few posts on “The Church” which explain the basis of my ecclesiology. In the first post, I said that our understanding of the church must begin with God. (see “The Church: It All Begins with God“) In the second post, I continue from that first point by concluding that our relationship with God and with one another is dependent upon God’s re-creative work, not any work of our own. (see “The Church: God’s Children and God’s Family“)
The way we act is defined by who we are. We are God’s children and God’s family, and thus we act as if God is our father. In the Gospels, we see Jesus giving us example after example of what it means to live as God’s children. Since we have been re-created, we have the opportunity and the ability to live as God’s children.
God loves. As his children, then, we also love. We go because God goes and sends. We care because God cares. We give because God gives. We serve because God serves.
When we love, serve, teach, care, etc., we do so because we are God’s children and we have been re-created to imitate our father. We do not become God’s children because we do these things, but we do these things because we are God’s children.
Similarly, we do not do these things (and other things) because we are the church. We are God’s children, and we do these things in demonstration of his character. The character of the family should be a demonstration of the character of the father.
Again, while this may seem obvious, we sometimes delegate this to a side story. If someone goes to another part of the world, they do not go because they are part of the church and the church sent them. They go because God’s cares about the people of that part of the world, and because God has sent them. If someone chooses to take care of a homeless person, they do not do so because the church has a homeless outreach, but because God cares for this person and their concern is a direct reflection of the father’s love.
Finally, this brings us to gathering together. As a family, we gather together. This does not make us family. Instead, gathering together is a demonstration that we are family. We love one another and desire to spend time with one another. That will be the topic for my next post in this series.
The Church: God’s Children and God’s Family
This week, I’m publishing a few posts on “The Church” which explain the basis of my ecclesiology. In the first post, I said that our understanding of the church must begin with God. (see “The Church: It All Begins with God“)
In particular, I would say that the church is a result of God’s re-creative work, but not a direct result. What do I mean?
The direct result of God’s re-creative work are people who can now rightly relate to God because they have been justified by God and have been indwelled by the Holy Spirit. Thus, the direct result of God’s re-creative work (as was the direct result of God’s creative work) is a new mankind (new creatures, if you will).
So, because God chose to re-create people through the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit, we become children of God. I am a child of God (and you are a child of God) as a direct result of God’s re-creative work.
God’s mission becomes our mission because he is our father. God’s love becomes our love because we are his children. We are all God’s family because of our relationship to him. I realize this last statement seems obvious, but the implications are huge. So, I want to spell it out a little more clearly.
We are family together with one another because we are children of the same father. God is our father, and thus, you and I are brother and/or sister. We cannot choose who is part of our family and who is not part of our family. If God has accepted someone, then we (by default) must accept them as well.
So, before we begin to worry about who we gather with, and how we should gather, and who our leaders are, we must understand who we are to God and to one another. This is the second major point in my ecclesiology.
First, it all beings with God. But, second, and closely related to the first point, we are children of God and, therefore, family with one another. That is, we are family with anyone else who is a child of God. Our relationship with God and our relationship with one another is not dependent upon our work, but upon the re-creative work of God.
Our Latest Church Tradition
Tomorrow, we’re taking part in our latest church tradition: going to the beach together. We’ve been to the beach together four or five times (I think). We go to Wrightsville Beach, NC and hang out under one of the piers.
Since Margaret is still recovering from her surgery, she won’t be going to the beach. I’m fighting a head cold, but hopefully I’ll be able to take Jeremy and Miranda.
If you’re in the area, or just want to take a trip to the beach, join us for sun and surf, volleyball, food, and alot of good conversation. We may even take a trip to my favorite restaurant, Sticky Fingers, on the way home.
Jesus cares more about people than rituals
Three years ago, I took part in a meme called “Five Things I Dig About Jesus.” Not only did I come up with 5 things, but I wrote a post about each one. One of those posts was called “Jesus cares more about people than rituals.” Whenever I think about this, I’m forced to ask myself, “Do I care more about people, or about rituals, structures, plans, things, etc?”
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Jesus cares more about people than rituals
I was tagged by Bryan at “Charis Shalom” to post five things I dig about Jesus. I “dug” this meme so much that I decided to blog through my five things. Number four on my list is that Jesus cares more about people than rituals.
God commanded the Israelites to carry out certain rituals. The most important of these rituals were the sacrifices and offerings. In fact, the children of Israel were required to sacrifice certain animals, food, or drink. But, the prophets tell us something interesting.
According to Isaiah, God did not delight in the sacrifices and burnt offerings. Instead, God wanted his people to “learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause”. (Isaiah 1:17 ESV)
Similarly, the prophet Micah rhetorically asks what delights God:
“With what shall I come before the LORD, and bow myself before God on high? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousands of rivers of oil? Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?” He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:6-8 ESV)
Micah recognized that God required justice and kindness toward others before sacrifice.
In Malachi, God accepts the sacrifices of Israel when they do not lie to each other, when they do not oppress the hired worker, the fatherless, and the widow, and when they do not misuse the immigrant. (Malachi 3:3-6)
God cares about people more than sacrifices and offerings. God cares about people more than rituals. The children of Israel could carry out all of the sacrifices and offerings and all of the rituals required by the law, but those rituals were worthless if they were not treating people properly.
What about Jesus? What did Jesus think about ritual? Remember that many of Jesus’ healings occurred on the Sabbath. Why? Because Jesus cared more about the people than following the rules of the Sabbath. Certainly, these rules were man-made, but they were rituals that the religious people kept. Jesus did not keep rituals in order to be religious. He healed people and cared for people.
But, these were man-made Sabbath rules. What about God ordained rituals? Did Jesus put people before God ordained rituals? Jesus told the man about to offer his sacrfice to first reconcile with his brother. To Jesus, relationships came before ritual. In fact, this parallels with what the prophets taught. Sacrifices and offerings are meaningless if people are not treated with justice and kindness. (Matthew 5:23-24)
Remember also that Jesus used the priest and the Levite – those responsible for carrying out the rituals – as negative examples in the story of the good Samaritan. Many believe that the priest and Levite refused to stop because they would become “unclean” and would not be allowed to carry out their ritual duties. (Luke 10:30-33)
Let’s be honest… there are alot of rituals associated with the organized church. Attend on Sunday and Wednesday… sit down, stand up, kneel… Bow your heads and close your eyes… Read this passage, sing this song, pray this prayer… Put your money here… Rituals.
Are there good reasons for these rituals? Certainly, just as there were good reasons for the sacrifices and offerings. But, people must come before rituals.
Jesus puts us before rituals. His compassion for us does not depend on standing the right way, or sitting just so, or bowing our heads and closing our eyes, or singing well. His love for us does not rise and fall with the frequency of our attendance at certain meetings. Jesus cares more about people than rituals.
Hanging out with friends and neighbors tonight
A few months ago, some friends of ours started meeting together every other Saturday night. Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to hang out with them. But, tonight, we will!
Last year about this time, we were meeting with these friends every Saturday night, and even hosted in our house a few times. We see some of these friends daily, and some of them we see weekly. But, we haven’t been able to hang out with this week’s hosts in a long time. Plus, they’re our neighbors. So, we’re looking forward to spending time with them.
What will we do? Well, I know that we’ll eat together. We’ll probably also pray together and talk about Scripture together. What do they call this meeting? I don’t know. Does it matter?
Showing more honor
In describing “unhypocrital love” (or sincere love) (Romans 12:9), Paul says, “Outdo one another in showing honor.” (Romans 12:10)
The command is actually a participial phrase that describes the love mentioned in the previous verse: “Love is unhypocritical (sincere)… esteeming one another more highly with honor.”
How do we show more honor to one another?
Camping Adventure
Last weekend, we camped with the church. We’ve done this several times before, and we’ve always had a great time with our friends… and usually met new friends as well.
This time, camping was an adventure.
We only camped Saturday night. We usually camp Friday and Saturday nights. But, the camp was full for Friday night. It actually worked out very well, so that wasn’t the adventure.
Also, more people than normal camped. Generally, a few families pitch their tents, and others join us during the day. This time, many more families than normal camped… and it was great! So, that wasn’t the adventure either.
It was hot. HOT! The temperature reached above 90 degrees Saturday afternoon. It was almost too hot for a camp fire Saturday night. But, we did have a camp fire… and s’mores… so that was not the adventure either.
It rained. It started raining just before 1:00 a.m. Sunday morning. But, it had rained on us before while camping, so that was not the adventure either.
Then…. around 2:00 a.m. Sunday morning… a thunderstorm passed over our campsite. Thunder… lightning… buckets and buckets of water… and we found out that our tent leaked. Well, leak is a nice way of saying that within a few minutes there was a river of water running beside me inside the tent.
Unfortunately, because of the water in our tent, we had to leave the campsite around 2:00 (along with the five kids we were responsible for). But, we returned the next morning. And we continued having a great time with our friends… and with Art from “Church Task Force” who joined us Sunday morning.
It turned out that some people stayed dry, and some people got wet. Several small children (two under one year old) camped overnight, and I think they did the best of all of us.
So… camping was an adventure… but I’m looking forward to the next adventure… perhaps sometime this fall.