A beautiful day in the neighborhood
What a great day we have with the church so far!
To begin our meeting this morning, I asked the question, “Who have you loved recently?” I may write a blog post about this. I think this is a very important question to ask ourselves and one another.
My friend Maël taught from Matthew 15 about the difference between the traditions of men and the commands of God. I think the dangerous traditions are not the ones that other people practice – the ones that are easy for us to spot. No, the dangerous traditions are the ones that we love; the traditions that have helped us in the past. These are the traditions that easily become “religion” without considering the gospel or the people involved.
After our meeting and after talking to some of our friends, we had lunch together. We made meatball subs, and invited many of our brothers and sisters to eat with us. Others brought their own food, and some ran to local restaurants to pick up lunch. We had a great time getting to know one another better. During lunch, Jeremy and the other young men returned from their camping trip. So, we were all able to listen to their stories and laugh along with them.
After lunch, we stopped by the nursing home. One of our friends at the nursing home told us yesterday that she was throwing a surprise birthday party for another resident. Our friend Paul decided to go to the party with us. We had fun spending more time with the residents, both meeting some of the residents for the first time and getting to know some of our friends who live there.
So, its been a good day – a beautiful day. I’m already excited about what God has in store for tomorrow.
Separating the sheep from the sheep
Last year, I published a post called “Separating the sheep from the sheep“. In many Christian circles, it seems that separation is the purpose of following Christ. When I read the New Testament, coming together seems to be more important than separating. Of course, coming together – having the same mind – living in unity – is much harder work and much more humbling than separating. Jesus and Paul and others seemed to think coming together was necessary.
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Separating the sheep from the sheep
There are several interesting passages spoken by Jesus about his coming in the end times to separate from sheep from the goats (Matt. 25:33) or to separate from the wheat from the tares (Matt. 13:30). Most agree that these are eschatological (end times) images of those who are children of God being separated from those who are not children of God – or, believers being separated from non-believers.
Today, though, it seems that followers of Jesus Christ are often more interested in separating the sheep from other sheep. Of course, this desire to separate the “true” sheep from other sheep, didn’t start recently. If we look back at the early Christian writings, we will see that Christians were separating themselves from other Christians.
But, then again, we can look all the way back to the New Testament, and we see over and over again that believers were practicing sheep separation:
For before certain men came from James, he [Peter] was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. (Galatians 2:12-13 ESV)
I [Paul] appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment. For it has been reported to me by Chloe’s people that there is quarreling among you, my brothers. What I mean is that each one of you says, “I follow Paul,” or “I follow Apollos,” or “I follow Cephas,” or “I follow Christ.” (1 Corinthians 1:10-12 ESV)
I [John] have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority. So if I come, I will bring up what he is doing, talking wicked nonsense against us. And not content with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers, and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church. (3 John 1:9-10 ESV)
Each of these negative examples were corrected by Scripture. And, these negative examples are balanced by many positive encouragements to walk in unity, to fellowship with one another, to build one another up instead of attempting to destroy one another.
However, in spite of the many warnings and exhortations from Scripture, we continue to think that it is our duty to separate ourselves from other “sheep” who are not like us in some ways – and, of course, we get to choose which things are important and which things are not important. We pick which “doctrines” are necessary, which “doctrines” are important, and which “doctrines” are not as important, thereby separating ourselves from brothers and sisters in Christ.
Of course, if we were to allow ourselves to hang around with other Christians who are different than us, then it would mean that we would have to deal with them in love, peace, patience, humility, gentleness, kindness, perseverance… these sound familiar. I suppose that living in the unity that Scripture describes would require that we actually walk in the Spirit and not simply walk with those who are like us.
But, I wonder though… what would happen if we actually stopped trying to separate sheep from sheep? What would happen if we actually tried to live with other sheep – even those sheep who are different from us? I wonder what would happen…
I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (John 17:20-23 ESV)
Submission and Friendship
Once again, Matthew has given us a snippet of John Calvin to think about in his post “Submission or Self-will“:
“For fellowship and friendship cannot be cherished when everyone pleases himself and refuses to yield or accommodate himself to others.” -John Calvin
“Yield” and “accommodate” are difficult. It requires us to accept the other as an equal… no, beyond an equal, as one who is more important than us. As I think about the statement above, the following passages of Scripture keep echoing in my mind:
Therefore welcome [accept] one another as Christ has welcomed [accepted] you, for the glory of God. (Romans 15:7 ESV)
Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4 ESV)
I agree with Calvin on this point, and I would even take it further: Fellowship and community are impossible without mutual submission.
A Relational Seminar
As most of my readers know, relationship is very important to me. I believe that God works through our relationships, both with other believers, but also with those who do not believe.
When we were planning the upcoming seminar, “Developing a Biblical Ecclesiology“, we did not want to simply teach about the importance of relationship, we also wanted to model the importance of relationship. In fact, the decision to make the seminar more relational was natural to who I am as a follower of Christ. This was not something that I had to think hard about or even to strategize about; it simply flowed out of who I am in Christ in relation with other brothers and sisters.
While the seminar sessions begin at 9:30 a.m. on Saturday, March 21, in reality, it has already started. We are already talking about the sessions and the panel discussion, not simply in order to plan to content. Similarly, I’m hoping to get together with some of the people from Roxboro in the coming weeks to begin building relationships with them.
On Friday night – the evening before the seminar officially begins – our family and several other people are travelling to Roxboro. We will have dinner and spend the evening in the homes of some of the brothers and sisters there. Hospitality is very important – though rarely practiced – among the church, so I’m excited about this opportunity for our new friends in Roxboro.
The next morning, before any speaking begins, we will again get together to hang out and have breakfast together. I’m looking forward to more fellowship around the table, and again the hospitality that the church in Roxboro will show toward us and others who will join us.
I will speak for about 1 1/2 hours in two sessions. This time will be very interactive and will be adjusted based on what I learn about the people from that area in the weeks and days before the seminar. Soon, I will write another post soon about my goals for my speaking time, so I’m not going to include much information here. I simply wanted to point out that while I may be the primary speaker, there will certainly be opportunities for others to take part in these sessions.
Following those two sessions, we will have a panel discussion. This will be a time for Q&A as well as for others to offer more input as they’ve had time to think about some of the things that I’ve said and some of the Scripture passages that we discuss. The panel will include other brothers and sisters in Christ who will answer questions and help people think about the church.
When this panel discussion is over – sometime around 12:30 p.m. – the seminar will officially end. However, we are planning to invite everyone to a local Mexican restaurant for lunch. Again, around the table, we will continue to discuss these issues and build our relationships with one another.
I’m hoping that through these times of eating, meeting, and fellowshiping, we will all begin to form some long-term relationships with brothers and sisters in Christ from Roxboro and the surrounding area. With modern communication and transportation, it will be much easier to maintain those relationships that it has ever been before.
As you can see, this will not just be a seminar about relationship, but will be a relational seminar. As much as possible, we will share our lives with other people as we encourage them to share their lives with us and with one another.
Church and Loneliness
I’ve recently come across Steve’s blog “From the Pew“. Steve has written several very good series, including “Re-Thinking Church Membership” and “Re-Thinking the Sunday Church Service“. In that last series, one post in particular caught my eye (“Disconnectedness“):
It is possible to feel loneliness, disconnectedness and a sense of helplessness in a large crowd of people. Many who live in the big city can attest to this. Some even find anonymity in large crowds. When one is in a group of people where they are supposed to be intimately connected – and yet aren’t – the disconnectedness can be amplified. A bad marriage can be an example of this. Or a marriage where the two simply go through the motions. The marriage is supposed to be a close relationship, and when it isn’t, it is much more obvious than if the two were mere roommates.
So it is with church. We are supposed to love one another, to bear one another’s burdens, to fellowship with one another, to stimulate one another to love and good deeds. When this doesn’t happen, the feeling of loss is increased. Something big should be happening here but it isn’t.
Through my own experience, the experiences of family and friends, and from the testimonies of many other people that I’ve talked with personally or through email, I know that Steve is correct. Many, many, many, many, many people sit through “church services” every Sunday with a feeling of loneliness and disconnectedness. These are not unbelievers, but people who believe in Jesus Christ – are filled with his Spirit – and are desiring fellowship with other brothers and sisters.
So, what’s the problem? I think one of the main problems is that the way we have structured and organized our church organizations (including the Sunday church service) fuels loneliness and disconnectedness and hinders fellowship and relationship.
Teaching in the context of living
Several days ago, I had the opportunity to have lunch with a young, single guy who has been meeting with us on Sundays for a few weeks. In the course of the conversation, he said that he wanted to talk about ecclesiology. Even though I’m not really interested in that subject (ahem), I was cordial to his request.
He began to talk about the church that he had been part of. He was not talking negatively about the church – in fact, he praised the church for what it was trying to do, and he praised the pastors and leadership. He said that he really appreciated the main pastor’s preaching, and he usually agreed with him.
Then he said something that I’ve been thinking and writing about for some time, but it was encouraging hearing it from someone else. This young man said that while he enjoyed the pastor’s sermon, he did not have a context in which to understand what the man was trying to teach.
I asked my new friend what he meant. He said, “My only relationship with this pastor is through a 30 minute sermon on Sunday morning. I don’t know anything about his life, or his family, or the way he treats his neighbors, or anything else. I only know what he tells me during his sermons. There is no relational context for learning what he is trying to teach.”
As I continued to talk to this young man, and to hear his heart for learning through relationships as well as through the spoken message, I couldn’t help but think of the examples that we have in Scripture.
Notice, for example, what Paul tells the elders from Ephesus:
And when they came to him, he said to them: “You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia…” (Acts 20:18 ESV)
Also, this is what Paul reminds the believers in Thessalonika:
For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers. (1 Thessalonians 2:9-10 ESV)
He tells the Philippians:
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:9 ESV)
The obvious exception to this pattern seems to be that when Paul wrote to the church in Rome, he had not been to Rome, although he seemed to know many of the believers there. However, even in this case, Paul later lived among the Roman believers for at least two years (Acts 28:30).
In other words, Paul did not intend for his words alone (neither his spoken words nor his written words) to make up the extent of his service to the people of God. He recognized the importance of living with the people as part of his work. He shared his life with them, and they shared their lives with him. Paul had much, much more than a “speaking ministry” among the people.
His words then often pointed back to his example of living and working among the people.
Today, too often, teachers spend very little time with the people they are attempting to teach. As my young friend said, there is no context for their teaching. This is not discipleship or teaching in the biblical sense, or in the sense that either Jesus or Paul modelled for us.
Instead, we need to live with the people that we hope to teach. Our teaching must be in the context of our living if we hope to see transformation – both our own transformation and transformation in the lives of others.
Back with family
Last week, I published a post called “From the outside looking in“. I recalled a recent visit to a church that was once our home church and how the people we knew there were too busy with church activities to spend time with us.
One Sunday, we were in Alabama. The next Sunday, we were in Panama City, Florida. The next Sunday, we were at the hospital with my father-in-law as he was preparing for surgery the next day. The next Sunday, we were back in North Carolina, but my daughter had strep throat. So, two days ago, on Sunday, I met with the church for the first time since the middle of December – over a month.
We had seen some of our brothers and sisters during the last week, and we enjoyed spending time with them. But I didn’t realize how much I missed the church family until Sunday morning. I talked and hugged and grinned and listened and was so excited to back with our family. While I still missed my wife very much (she’s still in Alabama taking care of her dad), it was a relief to be back with the church.
In fact, I soon realize that I was supposed to start our church meeting by reading a chapter of Scripture. I had forgotten! I looked around and realized that no one else seemed to mind that I had not started “on time”. Everyone was talking and laughing and catching up with one another.
During our meeting, several people shared what was going on in their lives, asked for prayer, prayed for others, shared what God had been teaching them… it was so different from what had experienced with the church that we visited. After our formal meeting was “dismissed”, people stayed around continuing their conversations, and several of us ate together.
Relationships… the church cannot be the church without relationships – real relationships – not fake, superficial, or contrived. Relationships… not simply shared activities.
As someone said recently, “If there is no life outside the church meeting, there will be no life in the meeting”.
Yes, while I miss my wife very, very much – and while I look forward to seeing her again real soon – It was very good to be back with family.
We want Christian community
Recently, I received an email from an old friend. I once worked with him. He and his wife had some relationship problems, and they ended up getting a divorce. We’ve emailed back a forth a few times, but it was both encouraging and discouraging to get this email from him:
I’m married now and we are expecting. We are very excited about everything that has been going on lately. I even had an interview for a promotion today so we are probably moving up north even farther. Like I said we are very excited about everything that has been going on.
We have been really trying to reach out for Christian fellowship and it has not been easy. That is actually the “advice” that I was hoping to get from you. My wife and I have both been really wanting to be around other Christians who challenge and help us grow and think about our beliefs and, well, the kind of environment I used to have with you guys at work. We don’t really know how to approach this though and we have gone with the most obvious and typical approach of finding a “local church” and doing all that but it is very unsatisfying to both of us for all the obvious reasons: sermons are weak at best heretical at worst, people are fake at best and judgmental at worst (many of them know about my divorce), and the environment is awful for fellowship and extremely conducive to over-emotionalistic unimportant ego-soothing nonsense. You know, the common problems with this kind of environment. So I don’t know what to do. I have been reading books and getting back into my Greek. I have been doing everything possible to be at least intellectually stimulated but its not really doing it for me or my family for that matter. Have you got any advice on what we could do to find other believers who can challenge us and help us and who we can share and grow with. We want Christian community and have realized very clearly that it is a difficult thing to find.
What advice did I give my friend? The same advice that I usually give to people who email me:
Seriously, there is no easy answer. First, be patient and pray. Second, look for God to work through the relationships that you already have. Start by inviting people to your place or out to dinner, and see what happens.
Finally, I’ve started adding another piece of advice. I encouraged him to check out SimpleChurch.com. This is a social networking site for people who are interested in more simple expressions of the church.
What advice would you give to my friend?
From the outside looking in
A few weeks ago, while we were travelling during the Christmas break, our family “visited” a church. This was not just any “church”, but a former home church for us. This is a very traditional, institutional church. We still have many friends who are part of this church, and we were looking forward to catching up with them.
But, that’s the problem. From the outside looking in, we can now see how difficult it is to build and maintain relationships in this kind of structure.
Walking through the halls looking for our Bible study class (Sunday school), we ran into an old friend. He was happy to see us and hugged us both and showed us to our room. He said he wanted to talk to us more, but he had things to do. He hurried off to his responsibilities, and we didn’t see him again.
While we were waiting for the class to start, I heard a familiar voice in the hallway, and I stepped outside. One of my old friends was standing there talking. He smiled and hug me and told me how much he missed me. As I was about to start talking to him, he started backing down the hallway and said that he had somewhere he needed to be. I did not see him again either.
During the “worship service” there is a “fellowship time” where people are allowed to mingle, meet, and greet while the choir sings a verse of a hymn. During this time, one of Margaret’s old friends ran up to her. She was very excited to see us and hugged Margaret, then rushed back to her pew because the music had stopped. We sat down politely as we were supposed to do, and didn’t see our friend again.
Honestly, I don’t hold anything against our friends at all. Oh, we would have loved the opportunity to sit down with them and listen to what God was doing in their lives and share some of what God was doing in our lives. We would have loved the opportunity to be edified by them and to edify them in return.
But, that did not happen. Why? Because they were not given the opportunity. And, beyond not being given the opportunity, they do not realize that it is their responsibility. They are taught that it is their responsibility to be a part of that organization and to carry out their functions within the organization.
No, I don’t hold anything against our friends. But, I’m very sorry for their loss, not the loss of spending time with us – the loss of developing real relationships fueled by the presence of the Holy Spirit – relationships that will help them through difficult situations and crises of faith much more than “Sunday school positions” or “fellowship times”.
The Interconnected Church
Almost two years ago, I wrote a post called “The Interconnected Church“. In that post, I compared the church as we see it in the New Testament to blogging communities. Instead of having isolated groups of people, we see much more interaction and interconnection. I still think this is a good analogy. What do you think?
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There is a list of blogs that I frequent on the right side of this web page (now on the left). If I go to most of those blogs, they will also include a list of blogs that the author visits regularly. If you navigate through those links, you will find other lists of blogs. And the cycle continues indefinitely… well, not indefinitely, but for many, many links.
There are a few people (a few more now) who frequent my blog. They interact with me through comments. I occasionally visit other blogs and interact with them through comments.
Could it be that this is a metaphor for the church in the New Testament?
Consider a believer in the New Testament. Let’s call him Joe. Joe knows several other believers. He interacts with them through normal relationships: family relationships, neighborhood relationships, work relationships, civic relationships, etc. Since these people are believers, they also gather regularly. Now, they may not all gather together at the same time. Perhaps some gather regularly at Joe’s house. Others gather regularly at Sally’s house. Joe occasionally meets with those at Sally’s house because he knows most of the people there. Also gathering at Sally’s house is the Smith family. They do not gather with the people at Joe’s house regularly, because the Smith family does not know them well. However, since they love Joe, and want to interact with him more, they will meet at his house on occasion. Meanwhile, once in a while, Joe will meet with another group with the Smith family. In this way, the interconnectivity is strengthened and grows.
In this scenario, there is interconnectivity among the church based on relationships. There is the church in Joe’s house, and the church in Sally’s house, and a few other churches; but they all recognize that they are the church in their city – because of the interconnectivity of relationships. They also recognize that they are somehow connected to groups outside their city, also through the interconnectivity of relationships.
If this is a valid view of the church in the New Testament, then could we be missing something today? Usually, when we talk about churches being connected to one another, we speak in terms of leadership networks, associations, etc. In other words, those in leadership from one church are connected to those in leadership from another church. This connection is not based on natural relationships, but on associations intentionally created to make connections. Meanwhile, many people in each church (specifically, those not in leadership) may find that they have very little connections with those outside their group, even with other churches with whom their leaders “associate”. Why? Because instead of being interconnected, the churches consider themselves mutually exclusive.
Are there any scriptural indications that an interconnected view of the church is valid, or that this view is not valid? What are some problems that might be caused by taking this view of the church?