Guest blog post: Blessed Assurance
Just before Christmas, my friend Joe from “Hear God Speak” answered a question that I asked on Facebook. Instead of giving Joe a leg lamp (a leg lamp), we decided that he would publish a guest blog post on my blog. This is Joe’s post… enjoy!
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2 Peter 1:10b Blessed Assurance
I have never enjoyed revivals. I felt this way even before I realized I was a Calvinist. When I was the pastor of Matthew’s Memorial Baptist Church, we didn’t have a revival the entire time I was there. I read a statement on another blog that totally crystallized why I feel about revivals the way I do. The author said some churches have a “pray this prayer and you’re saved†mentality and that they encourage people to always remember that day and never doubt. This has nothing to do with anything that we find in 2 Peter 1:10. I know there are people who went down in VBS and prayed a prayer when they were 8 years old or so who now live in open defiance of God’s word with hate, bitterness, lust, and greed in their heart. They have a false assurance of their salvation. Peter, in this verse, writes to these Christians about true assurance of salvation.
First of all, we should remember that our salvation is not something that we brought about by our choice or because we were smart enough to realize that we needed a Savior to redeem us from out sins. Our salvation, as we can observe in the first part of verse 10, begins with God’s calling and choosing of us. Salvation started with God. His Holy Spirit empowers us to live out the Christian life but it is in our living of that life that we find our assurance of salvation. Peter writes in the second half of verse 10 that our assurance comes as long as you practice these things. The word practice is in the present tense in the Greek. In other words, the development and exercise of these things (the virtues in verses 5-7) is a lifelong endeavor. This activity is quite frankly the toughest job you’ll ever love and you will never retire from it.
The Lord was pleased to save me when I was 12 years old and I have grown in Christ since then, albeit not so steadily in my college years. I’m celebrating the 13th anniversary of my 25th birthday (or 38 according to my wife.) the 22nd of February this year and I feel like I have more to learn today than I did when I started my journey. I feel like the more I learn and know the more I realize how much I need to learn and know. As Christians, we are called to live in a manner consistent with the truths of the gospel. Of course we’re going to sin. We’re still living in a fallen world with fallen flesh that loves to sin better than anything. It is only through the strength given to us by God through the Holy Spirit that we are able to do this. In fact, it is a bigger surprise to me sometimes that I am able to live for the Lord than it is that I fail and sin. The questions we should ask as we read these inspired words given to us through the pen of Peter are “Am I living what I believe? Is the pattern of my life generally consistent with the truths taught in scripture? When I recognize sin in my life, do I confess and repent of that sin?†If you can answer yes to those questions I would say you’re probably practicing the truths Peter has taught. As you see these qualities and character traits grow, you can feel assurance that your profession of faith is genuine. You will have tangible evidence that you can rely on rather than some prayer mumbled when you were a child.
Peter further assures believers that their life of godliness provides a reason to feel secure in their salvation. He says that if you practice these things you will never stumble. Now, Peter uses some strong language in the Greek language that doesn’t really translate to English. In saying never Peter uses three Greek words: ou (3756) which is used for absolute negation of something, me (3361) which is a less intense negation and pote (4218) which means never, not once, ever. In fact, following the word order of the Greek a person could translate the phrase “no not stumble never, not once, everâ€. I think that’s a quadruple negative. Regardless of how you want to count the number of negatives in that phrase, it seems pretty clear that Peter is emphatically saying that a true believer, one who is living out his or her faith, will never fail away so as to lose their salvation. Stumble (ptaio-4417, to trip up) is in the aorist tense which points to a stumbling that is final and from which one cannot recover, as noted by Edmund Hiebert in his commentary on II Peter. This does not mean that a believer will never sin. What it does mean is that a person who has genuine saving faith will remain faithful in spite of all their minor slip ups and falls to the very end.
If you will notice, in the next verse (2 Peter 1:11) we are told the end of the Christian journey is arrival at home in heaven. We can have assurance of our future home in heaven by the godly lives we live here and now. As Peter has noted, we do not live godly lives to earn our salvation but rather they are the proof of God’s work in our lives.
What are our church meetings like?
People in the Raleigh area occasionally email me and ask if they can meet with our church. Of course, anyone is welcomed to meet with us. Sometimes, they ask me, “What are your church meetings like? What should I expect?”
Well, I recently met Jon. We had lunch together, and last Sunday he met with us. I asked him if he would tell me about his time with us. I told him that I would like to post it on my blog (before I received his description). So, this is what Jon said about meeting with us last Sunday (he wrote it as a letter to the church):
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Dear Brothers and Sisters of Messiah Baptist Church,
For the last few years now, my spiritual instincts have told me that something was missing from my overall church experience. My whole life as a believer, I assumed any dissatisfaction with the “worship service” was the result of my inadequacies or my lack of “spirituality.” I’m still inadequate, and I’m still not very spiritual, but something was telling me that I wasn’t the only thing broken.
The Lord has taught me quite a bit over the last year, and I have finally taken the step of faith to leave my existing church and search for a deeper church experience … something closer to what we see in the New Testament, and what I believe Christ intended. That is why I greatly anticipated my visit to your church this past Sunday. Of course, anticipation wasn’t the only feeling I had. I was also a little skeptical, perhaps somewhat afraid. I’ve been reading a lot lately about simple / organic church, and in the back of my mind, I can picture the type of people this might attract: rebels, non-conformers, heretics, etc. (somewhat kidding). What if I was disappointed? What if what I have been envisioning for over a year was a big let-down?
Any reservations aside, I found myself being mostly excited to visit with you. I was eager to experience some of the things that we actually read about in the New Testament. I am happy to say that I was very filled and fulfilled by our meeting together. I was surprised (while also not surprised) by how natural it felt, as if I was in my element. I guess the best way to describe it is to say that it felt very “balanced.” I guess one of my fears was that it would seem like, “let’s do everything we can to not look like an institutional church!” … “let’s be extremely different!” Rather, it felt like a genuine pursuit of our Lord’s idea of church. I was comfortable in the corporate sense (as a fellow believer) but challenged in a personal sense (in light of what we studied). It was refreshing and it was very balanced.
Here are the elements of the meeting that meant most to me:
Fellowship — I felt very welcomed among the group. It wasn’t just the “hello, welcome to our service, glad you’re here today.” It was genuine, meaningful conversation. You were interested in who I was and what was going on in my life. The meal was also very special. It gave everyone a chance to further connect and spend time together. I loved the fact that there was no sense of hurry or “look what time it is!” … We were just content to share our time.
Family — I love that the entire family is included in the meeting. We love having our son in church with us now and I like the idea that he can learn with us as he matures.
Interaction — I personally liked the circle seating arrangement. I don’t know how you normally do it, but it seemed very appropriate for sharing amongst the group. I love that everyone had an opportunity to share, read scripture, and have input (and it was decently and in order). I also loved the fact that there was freedom to be vulnerable, whether it be a hard situation someone is going through or even a sin that needs to be confessed.
Music — I’m assuming you usually have a guitar or something (which I like), but I enjoyed being able to sing without a lot of extra noise. It allowed me to focus on the meaning and the message of the songs. I was glad to see a good balance in the song selections (hymns, choruses, etc) … all familiar. A couple of songs did seem to “drag’ on a little bit, mainly the ones with a lot of verses (but I’m sure that’s just the old worship leader in me). I’ve yet to develop a comfort level with “contemporary” church music or the idea that “worship” is all focused on the musical part of the service, so I was definitely pleased to see that the corporate singing (and the whole meeting for that matter) appealed to the spirit rather than the emotions.
Bible Study — What a great lesson and very good insight from the whole body. I left having discovered new truths shared by all those who had something to add. It was refreshing to see a meeting where the Holy Spirit has more control than we do. Yet, it was not a “free-for-all.” Everyone shared (with humility) according to their spiritual insight. I did not sense that anyone was trying to draw attention to themselves by what they had to say.
Now, I can finally say that I know what I’ve been missing! Thank you all again for allowing a fellow brother join your family for one day. I certainly look forward to doing it again soon.
Until we meet again,
Jon
We want Christian community
Recently, I received an email from an old friend. I once worked with him. He and his wife had some relationship problems, and they ended up getting a divorce. We’ve emailed back a forth a few times, but it was both encouraging and discouraging to get this email from him:
I’m married now and we are expecting. We are very excited about everything that has been going on lately. I even had an interview for a promotion today so we are probably moving up north even farther. Like I said we are very excited about everything that has been going on.
We have been really trying to reach out for Christian fellowship and it has not been easy. That is actually the “advice” that I was hoping to get from you. My wife and I have both been really wanting to be around other Christians who challenge and help us grow and think about our beliefs and, well, the kind of environment I used to have with you guys at work. We don’t really know how to approach this though and we have gone with the most obvious and typical approach of finding a “local church” and doing all that but it is very unsatisfying to both of us for all the obvious reasons: sermons are weak at best heretical at worst, people are fake at best and judgmental at worst (many of them know about my divorce), and the environment is awful for fellowship and extremely conducive to over-emotionalistic unimportant ego-soothing nonsense. You know, the common problems with this kind of environment. So I don’t know what to do. I have been reading books and getting back into my Greek. I have been doing everything possible to be at least intellectually stimulated but its not really doing it for me or my family for that matter. Have you got any advice on what we could do to find other believers who can challenge us and help us and who we can share and grow with. We want Christian community and have realized very clearly that it is a difficult thing to find.
What advice did I give my friend? The same advice that I usually give to people who email me:
Seriously, there is no easy answer. First, be patient and pray. Second, look for God to work through the relationships that you already have. Start by inviting people to your place or out to dinner, and see what happens.
Finally, I’ve started adding another piece of advice. I encouraged him to check out SimpleChurch.com. This is a social networking site for people who are interested in more simple expressions of the church.
What advice would you give to my friend?
Unity – A Guest Blog Post
In case I haven’t said this recently, the most awesome people read and interact on this blog. (Yes, even those brothers and sisters who disagree with me.) I often get emails from people who further conversations on this blog. I usually ask if I can use their emails as “guest blogger” posts.
Recently I received an email from Hal. He sent me the email below in response to our chain blog on “City Church“. I thought you might enjoy reading what he has to say about unity among the body of Christ.
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I am a believer in Memphis, Tn. I am part of a fellowship of believers here that has been meeting in homes for a while. I stumbled on your blog while reading David Roger’s [“Love Each Stone“].
For what it’s worth I’d like to testify to the fact that being part of a “city church” is truly a labor of love. Most folks just have enough stress already, and don’t want to go through the grind of worshipping with, and living with people who they either don’t like, or disagree with doctrinally. It’s just so easy to find a place that has good music, right doctrine, and something for all the kids. But for the few of us who are a little weird and know Christ has asked much more of us than that, well, we persevere at all costs.
After you’ve gotten to know a brother well enough to hate him, and can still wash his feet with joy, there you have the church. We are not called to be over one another, but under.(Luke22:24-27) If you can get strong willed men whose minds are made up about the church together, with completely different stances or views on the scripture, and watch them submit to each other, you will have men you can trust and love.
Most of what I’ve read on “city church” is good, but always ends up hung up on how to share power: “who will be in charge?” Funny how it’s not reversed “who will be the least.” In America we don’t need more gifted preachers, we need to trust Christ to be head over His church, and ask Him to be our leader. “Give us a king!” we scream, when what we really need to do is walk in the love and truth God is so ready to freely bestow on those who would be priests unto Him.
If we ever get to the point where we know we’ve replicated the first century church, or that we’re doing it the right way, it’s over. I think the Lord in His wisdom will deal with the world through broken vessels, striving for unity. However close we get to the ideal church experience, we must hold it loosely, knowing it is all of grace. I am blessed to be where I’m at, and long for many of my brothers to know real church life, but at the same time I know God works through the meek and opposes the proud, so I repent of the pride that so easily ensnares me, and ask God to bless the First Baptist churches of the world. Thanks for reading this, and may the Lord bless his holy people.
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I agree with Hal that God desires unity and that we should work toward unity. I also agree with Hal that God even works through broken people – even those who refuse to live in the unity of the body of Christ. When we think we’ve got it all together – when we think things are perfect – then we’re relying on ourselves and our ability to do things right, instead of relying on God and his grace.
I thank God for brothers like Hal who are living the gospel with those who are different from themselves. I also thank God for all of those who email me. I’m always encouraged to hear what God is doing through his children around the world.
Connecting… on a real life level
Last year, I had the opportunity to post several “guest blogger” posts. These posts were written by other people, usually sent to me in emails. I would get their permission and post them here in hopes that the guest posts would be an encouragement to my readers, and that my readers would be able to encourage the guest bloggers.
In November 2007, I posted a guest blog called “Searching for fellowship“. The author (Teresa) has stayed in email contact with me. I asked if I could publish this latest email that demonstrates how God is bringing true fellowship and community into her life. Please feel free to interact with this post in the comments as you would with other posts. You can address your comments to Teresa or to me.
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Here is an update from my letter that I had written to you in November.
At the time I had written to you, I was questioning what the following scripture meant to me: “And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.” (Heb. 10:24-25 NASB)
The reason that I was questioning this is because I am a soul that has been “in church” every single Sunday since the 2nd grade. Then about 4 years ago I suddenly found myself not attending church at all after our church had a traumatic split. We were devastated by what had happened, meaning- how people had behaved toward us and toward each other.
The process has been difficult and painful. But God has been faithful to who He is. He is good and he never changes! No matter our circumstance. So, through this painful season we have learned alot about ourselves, alot about our God, alot about people, and about church as an institution. Our pain kept us from attending any churches in the beginning, but our understanding is what has been showing us the real reason we do not desire to walk through the sanctuary doors as we once had. We desire more than programs and religion. We desire connecting with people on a real life level wrapped in the understanding of our identity in Christ and the Grace of God.
Since the time I had first written to you, I have made some wonderful connections with a few dear people online. I hope to meet each of them in person someday soon! My husband had the opportunity to travel to Europe to be a part of a conference in Bulgaria. The conference spoke to Pastors there about the message of Grace. I surprisingly have made a connection with a woman there who had been an attender of a conference. I have been enjoying connections God has provided with people in many different places. I feel that through these connections I have been able to live the scripture of Heb. 10:24-25. Of course it does not look like what we are accustomed to in traditional church. But the result is that there is an assembling and encouragement taking place.
We are also looking into an opportunity of hosting and facilitating grace walk groups through the ministry of Steve McVey. We hope in this opportunity we will make more tangible connections with people in our community.
Last week we had attended a funeral in which many people from our past church were at. We were welcomed by some, and to our expectation, shunned by others. God did a lot in our hearts through that day. And I realized that I am walking on the path of healing with a hope and a future. There are some who will never choose that path because holding on to the past is where they seem to find their life. But for those who do choose a path of healing and restoration we welcome them by our side.
I believe we have crawled out of the “rut” and are walking ahead on the other side. Resting in Jesus is what brings us comfort and HOPE. We know He is in control and that He is GOOD! We are excited for all the things to come as our God lays out our future for us.
Thank you for your encouragement and prayers through this journey.
Peace,
Teresa
(formerly, anonymous child of God)
Searching for fellowship (Guest Blogger)
I recently received the following email from a reader. I appreciate how this person has shared their struggles and triumphs as they attempt to walk with God. Perhaps you have some words of wisdom or encouragement to share with this “anonymous child of God”, or perhaps you would just like to share your own struggles to find fellowship:
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Hello:
I clicked on your blog link from another website. the verse you have headlining has been one I have been thinking about for a while : And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near. (Heb. 10:24-25 NASB)
Nearly 4 years ago our church – for lack of better words – Blew Up.
In a lot of drama, gossip, rumors, judgement and criticism people became scattered and went their separate ways injured and wounded. There were little “them and us” groups that formed..the mud slinging continued, and people that once claimed to be “family” and love one another became enemies.
Some were just caught in the middle not knowing which end was up. (I think those are the ones my heart aches most for)
The history in a nutshell is that this church was a new church plant about 4 years old. It came into a new area, started in a school gym, the growth exploded, we found a building, and worked very hard trying to get new people in by having lots of events. The church grew quickly and many of the leaders were very new believers. The pastor was working in many ways out of his flesh, though he had a sincere love for the people and for God, in his leadership role, there were times he wounded some. Those he wounded realized that he was not deserving of the pedestal they had placed him on and vowed to destroy him and his family.
As this drama unfolded for the next several years my family had been shunned by many of the people. (you see, the pastor was a family member) So, I can only think that we must in their eyes be guilty by association of the wrong doings they have accused him of.
My best friends walked away from me. People that we used to fellowship with turn from us when we run into them. As a matter of fact, I just ran into a woman last night in the grocery store, when I spoke up and said Hello, she looked up, her face became twisted, she struggled to murmur a quick hello and then looked away…and this is 4 years later…
My whole life I have gone to church on Sunday morning. Though now I realize that it was because that is what I thought I was “supposed to do”.
We have visited a few churches. But nothing feels right. And the thing is, that through this past 4 years, God has been bringing me into a new understanding of his Grace and Mercy. So when I walk into these places and hear legalism be preached, or hear that in my son’s Sunday school class the teacher told him to make sure and bring a dollar next week for the offering…it just turns me off. Not to mention, there is a bit of a fear of people in general after what we have experienced.
My kids ask why we don’t go to church. We have done some “home church” stuff, just here with the kids. But haven’t been consistent. My husband and I have read some books: “The Rest of the Gospel” by Dan Stone, and “Lifetime Guarantee” by Bill Gillam. We both attended a healing retreat that God really met us in. And we have several internet sites that support our growing in grace. And as it applies to our life, we share these understandings with our kids.
But the question for me now is what does not forsaking our own assembling together, mean to me? I do not want to go back to my old ways of thinking and go to a church just because I think we should. But I also feel that we are in this bubble of limited fellowship.
Recently I have been thinking a lot about this passage and what it might mean to me:
Jer 3:13 Only acknowledge your guilt. Admit that you rebelled against the LORD your God and committed adultery against him by worshiping idols under every green tree. Confess that you refused to follow me. I, the LORD, have spoken!
Jer 3:14 “Return home, you wayward children,” says the LORD, “for I am your husband. I will bring you again to the land of Israel–one from here and two from there, from wherever you are scattered.
Jer 3:15 And I will give you leaders after my own heart, who will guide you with knowledge and understanding.”
Jer 3:16 “And when your land is once more filled with people,” says the LORD, “you will no longer wish for ‘the good old days’ when you possessed the Ark of the LORD’s covenant. Those days will not be missed or even thought about, and there will be no need to rebuild the Ark.
I apologize for this lengthy email. And I am not even sure of my exact purpose for writing to you. But after looking at some of your writings, I thought you might be able to understand our situation and if the Lord leads you, to offer encouragement in Him. Let me also quickly mention that though this past 4 years have been painful and ugly on days, I wouldn’t trade it for the understanding I have gained of who I am in Christ and what His Grace and Mercy means to my life.
Thanks for your time,
(anonymous child of God)
A brother needs advice (Guest Blogger)
I received an email from a brother in Christ recently asking for advice. I’ll call him S.P. (for “Senior Pastor”). I’ve enjoyed getting to know S.P. more through email. I asked him if I could share this email with my readers, because some of you have more experience and more wisdom in this area than I do.
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For a long time (at least 15-18 years) I have been convinced that the church is to be led by a plurality of men referred to as elders. This means that no one man is to assume the role of Senior Pastor and to do all the work of “the ministry” himself or even with a “staff.” It seems clear that pastor, elder, overseer, and bishop are all interchangeable terms. Unfortunately, I have not known of any churches that practice this type of leadership structure.
Currently I serve as the Senior Pastor for a church. We are a Baptist church with an elder structure. This is what drew me to this particular congregation. However, while I was told that the Senior Pastor is one of the elders (the first among equals), after more than three years here it is very clear that this is no different than the deacon led Baptist churches I have served at with the deacons or elders functioning as a board of directors. To make matters worse our staff (associate pastors) are not even elders at all. So in our church we have a Senior Pastor (me) who also serves as an elder, the elders, associate pastors who are not elders, and ministry team leaders who function much like deacons should function. What a mess!
Well, I’m tired of it all. For reasons too numerous to list in this email and very similar to the views expressed on your blog, I think this is a serious failure to follow the simple plan of the Scriptures. The result: 1) I am very tired and less than effective, 2) I have all the responsibility for the church’s success or failure (because I’m the Senior Pastor) without all the authority (neither of which I should have – both the responsibility and authority should be shared), 3) I have a frustrated staff who are confused because they are pastors without being elders and so they have very little real authority and much responsibility, 4) the Senior Pastor is viewed like a CEO, 5) other teachers/preachers are not accepted in the pulpit, the ministry of the church is focused upon growth in numbers and budget, not upon “kingdom†things, 6) the overall health of the church suffers.
I know that some would say that other churches with the “traditional” model are doing just fine. I suppose that is true if fine means the efficient running of a corporate organization. But this is not what I believe God has called me to. I want to be a real shepherd. But most of my energy is wasted on management issues that I’m not even good at.
So, I am finally getting the courage of my convictions (again, long held convictions). Something needs to change. But I am not sure what to do. Do you have any advice?
A couple of things I am starting to do (some inspired by Dave Black): 1) I am asking people to call me by my first name, 2) I am going to remove my “ordination” certificate from my wall, and 3) I am teaching through 1 Timothy and addressing these issues as they come up in the text (I’ve expanded my study of 1 Timothy 3:1-7 this week to include other texts about elders). I’m also considering taking our elders through a study on the subject. I might even suggest we drop the use of ecclesiastical titles (I agree with you – only Jesus is the real Senior Pastor).
Do you have any advice? It is particularly hard when all of your training has been to be the Senior Pastor of a church (I’m a seminary graduate). I’m also not as young as I used to be (I’m not old either!). So, I am seeking wise and godly counsel.
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If you have any wise and godly counsel for S.P., please leave it in a comment here.
The Lord’s Supper – Another Example (Guest Blogger)
Previously, I have described how we partake of the Lord’s Supper (see “The Lord’s Supper (one example)“). Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of exchanging emails with Dustin, a brother from nearby Greensboro, NC. He is one of the elders of Shepherd’s Fellowship of Greensboro, and blogs at “Grace in the Triad“. I asked Dustin to describe how they partake of the Lord’s Supper. I thought this might be encouraging to some of my readers. The following is his description:
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Here is a basic rundown of the “mechanics” of how we do the Supper:
1. After we finish our church meeting, the ladies are busy prepping the “pot-providence” 🙂 dishes and table while the guys are helping break down sound equipment and moving tables where they need to be for the meal. One family rotates each week on a schedule to determine who is responsible to bring the elements for the supper (the bread and grape juice). We sit out the whole loaf and a huge pitcher of grape juice at the end of the table with the rest of the food. Folks are also able to use the bathroom, etc., at this time. This is about 15 minutes.
2. We all stand in a circle, hold hands, and pray before eating the meal. This can be quite fun with 65-70 people! I (or whoever is leading) then prays a prayer of Thanksgiving for the food with a sense of joy and gladness because we are prefiguring the marriage supper of the Lamb – a time of intense, face-to-face fellowship with Jesus in heaven that will happen in the future (Acts 2:46; Rev. 19:6-9).
3. Folks get their food in a buffet fashion, and since we use a whole loaf, the believers can go through and simply take a piece of the loaf and put it on their plate when they pass through. They also pour out some juice at the end of the buffet line into their own cups. We also allow children and unbelievers to have some of the juice and bread if they want (the bread tastes good cause’ it’s homemade), but we warn the parents not to teach their children to partake of it as an ordinance [which would basically be akin to infant baptism], but that its o.k. to eat it as part of the fellowship meal if they want.
4. Once people are eating, fellowshipping, etc. we get their attention for a moment and I or another elder (or any capable believer) “fences the table” by reading and briefly but accurately explaining or reminding folks of the warning found in 1 Cor. 11:27-34. We basically explain to the hearers how the rich Christians despised the poor in the church at Corinth by eating most of the food before the poor got there (thus treating them like 2nd class Christians), and they were also getting drunk off of the communion wine. We exhort sinning Christians in our midst (esp. those who have sinned against a fellow believer and treated them contemptuously) to avoid partaking so that they can further focus on their need to reconcile with their brother and sister and with God whom they’ve sinned against. This has served to cause people to reconcile beforehand so that they can partake of the elements with a good conscience (which is exactly what we want!) We also focus on reminding the unbelievers in our midst to watch the Christians partake of this part of the meal because it is not only a remembrance of Christ’s death but also a pre-figuring of that sweet time in heaven at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev. 19) and it is a reminder of their need to be washed clean of their sins by the shed blood of Jesus.
NAU 1 Corinthians 11:27-34 Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. 28 But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. 30 For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number sleep. 31 But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world. 33 So then, my brethren, when you come together to eat, wait for one another. 34 If anyone is hungry, let him eat at home, so that you will not come together for judgment. The remaining matters I will arrange when I come.
5. Next, whoever is leading (a) Reads 1 Cor. 11:23-24, (b) believers then joyfully partake of the bread, and then (c) the leader leads in a brief prayer of thanksgiving for God’s love demonstrated through breaking Christ’s body for the Church.
NAU 1 Corinthians 11:23-24 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.”
6. When it looks like most folks are finished eating their meal, the leader reads 1 Cor. 11:25-26 and we all partake of the cup together:
NAU 1 Corinthians 11:25-26 In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” 26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes.
7. We then have a brief closing prayer of thanksgiving to God for the atonement of Christ and we remember with joyful anticipation His second coming.
All of this may sound a little cumbersome, but it’s not bad at all. We have thoroughly enjoyed doing it this way and I can say that it has had a truly “sacramental” effect on our church body in accordance with 1 Cor. 10 ( i.e., the Holy Spirit building unity and koinonia through the shared Supper). After doing it this way, I’d *never* go back to crackers and a thimble-full of grape juice. I’m just too spoiled now! 🙂
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I appreciate Dustin for sharing this with me and allowing me to share it with my readers. I pray that this is beneficial to our brothers and sisters who read it. If you have any questions for Dustin, or if you would like to comment on this description of the Lord’s Supper, please feel free to use the comments here.
Guest Blogger: Why I Said Church Hurts
A few days ago, someone left a very poignant anonymous comment on my blog. In response, I asked this person to email me. After reading her story, I’ve asked if I can share it here, and she has graciously allowed me to do that.
As you read this story, I hope you will listen carefully to what is being said. People are hurting all around us, and God has put us in their lives to help and encourage them. We are here to bring glory to God by caring for his people. Perhaps someone that you are acquainted with is hurting just like this sister.
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Why I Said Church Hurts
by Mrs. Anonymous
In a recent anonymous post, I summarized my family’s experiences with church by saying that ‘church hurts’. That’s a strong statement, and maybe one that needs explanation. So I will attempt to briefly describe some of the circumstances that have led up to my comments. My intent is not to unload a ‘laundry list’ of gripes with my church. My hope is that in reading our story, some may find comfort that they are not alone in their own pain, and also, that perhaps leaders in churches will be reminded that their true calling is to tenderly nurture the believers in their midst, not to build programs, structures, attendance, or budgets.
First of all, let me say that I dearly love Christ, and I love His children. I believe in His design for the church– individual, uniquely gifted members ministering to one another with the goal of seeing one another grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. And I praise God for those few precious people He has brought into my life, who love Christ, and encourage me in the ‘fight of faith’. I can’t imagine life without their love. And so yes, I do have some interaction with the body of Christ that is very positive and loving and healing. But most of that occurs with friends who are outside of what we call our ‘church’.
In our church, there is a lot of ‘moving and shaking’ going on. Attendance is increasing. Additions are being built. New staff is being hired. Our image is one of ‘excellence’ (and image is very important). All this is exciting, and there is lots of enthusiasm for all that God is doing. But I look around each Sunday and wonder how many people are just pasting on a smile, hiding their hurts, believing they don’t really matter. Like my family does……
In our church, even though we have verbalized our financial situation more than once, there is no understanding of why my husband works so many Sundays and often misses church. Though the leaders are aware that he works upwards of eighty hours a week, at three different jobs, to meet the most basic needs of our family, their focus has not been on encouraging him, but rather on ‘reminding’ him of the importance of church attendance. It has been implied, subtly, and more overtly, that if we have financial problems, it must, at root, be ‘our fault’. I see the weariness in my husband, the disrespect he feels because he isn’t ‘white collar’, and I fear I see a wounding in my husband disguised as a growing indifference toward church.
Our oldest son is in his twenties, and since he moved out of our home a year ago, he hasn’t attended church. Nobody seemed to notice, even though for six years he was ‘faithful’, and even a leader in the youth program. Recently an elder called asking for his mailing address so he could be sent a letter ‘warning’ him that if he didn’t start attending church, he would be removed from the membership list. That letter will be the first attempt leadership has made to ‘reach out’ to him since he left. So, my son finds more caring and acceptance from his unbelieving friends than he does from the church where he was once held up as a ‘model teen’.
My sixteen year old daughter almost died last December. A very rare, life-threatening infection landed her in Intensive Care for over a week. The infection attacked all her organs. An athlete, she faced the possibility of having one or both feet amputated. Our church did respond with prayer, meals brought to us, and a visit from the pastor, for which I was, and remain, grateful. But once our daughter was home, she began processing what she had gone through: the reality of her own mortality, the fear that her weakened body would not return to its pre-illness state, and that she would have to let go of her athletic goals– her dreams. I shared her struggles with a couple leaders, one of which declared that this was probably God’s way of ‘shaking her tree’, and trying to get her attention, as though she had some sin issue that had brought on her illness. So my daughter and I spent a lot of long nights talking and crying together, as she came to terms with what she’d gone through. It was a faith-building time for her, and the church leaders missed their opportunity to be part of it. (By the way, she recovered fully, by God’s mercy, and went on to compete, athletically, at the state level.)
The latest wounds have been directed toward me. Because I gently cautioned against a controversial idea put forth by the women’s leadership board, I was labeled as ‘negative’ and told repeatedly, that I have a ‘heart issue’. I have been warned not to talk through, with my friends, any problems I have with the church, as this is ‘gossip’, even when it’s done in a genuine spirit of seeking clarity and balanced advice from trusted believers. The church leadership has proceeded with a concerted effort to marginalize and minimize my ‘influence’. Disparaging, suspicion-inducing comments about our family have been shared with others, including one of our best friends. If this weren’t all so hurtful, I could almost laugh at the Junior High-esque tactics of those who claim to be the leaders of God’s people. Maybe some day I will laugh. But I won’t laugh for the next family that ‘dares’ to not ‘support’ leadership, and suddenly finds themselves targeted.
So, I know, everyone has anecdotal evidence of failures in their church. We have all been hurt or disappointed at times. These are just a few of my stories. I can accept that imperfect people will behave imperfectly. We have had our share of minor church conflicts and issues that we have worked through, or chosen to simply forgive or ignore. In over two decades of being in Christ, we have only belonged to two churches, so we aren’t ‘quitters’. But what do you do when ‘going to church’ hurts more than staying away does? When faith in God’s acceptance, and nurturing, cherishing love for me is easier to maintain at home, than ‘at church’. What do I tell my kids? How do I help them avoid equating the failures of people with an ‘unloving’ God?
We are at a point of leaving the church we now attend. It’s sad. I love the people there. But the leadership seems to have put together a model for growth that doesn’t have room for ‘people like us’. I’m scared to look for a new assembly. I don’t want to get hurt again. And I fear that my fear is going to turn into a self-protective distancing of myself from the God-designed relationships He has in store for me. And by the strength that He supplies, I will resist that tendency. But fear of rejection is a powerful force in alienating people. I often wish we could be a wealthier, ‘stronger’ more ‘put together’ family. That seems to be what a lot of churches are looking for. Oddly different criteria than the weary, burdened, and heavy-laden folks Jesus called to Himself. But I also know that a lot of the struggles God has allowed in our lives have been used by Him to make us more compassionate, sympathetic, God-dependent people. We are in process. We are his workmanship. And praise Him, it’s a work He won’t abandon. He is growing my faith, even while I struggle with my hurts and disappointments. I know that God has not abandoned His church to His children’s foolish ideas of how to ‘manage’ or ‘improve’ or ‘grow’ it. I just struggle with the ‘how’ of living in a time and place where the ‘church’ seems to have moved so far of course. Which I guess, in part, is what Alan’s blog is all about. I am encouraged, strengthened, and provoked to Christlike love through Alan’s writings and the comments of others. Thanks for listening to mine.
What really matters…
This seems to be the week for me to discuss some local friends that God has placed in my family’s life. On Monday, in a post called “Encouraged by the church again“, I shared a very encouraging thank-you note that one friend gave me. On Tuesday, in a post called “Relationships and Ministry“, I shared the story of another friend who was meeting with believers closer to his home and serving with them. Then, on Friday, in a post called “Exhortation to remain faithful…” (the title was much too long), I discussed a passage that was brought up by my friend Leah. So, here is another one…
I (and other friends) recently received an email from a friend of ours. She gave me permission to publish her email here. I’ve changed the names to protect the innocent. I hope it encourages (and convicts) you as it did to me.
Dear Friends… I’ve had quite a day… I thought I’d share.
How insanely small is my perspective? How incredibly short-sighted am I? How quick am I to anger? How tiny are the things that I let get to me? How unaware am I of what is important? Let me tell you… it is small, short, quick, tiny, and very.
My husband and I have had a kind of tough week. We’ve been bickering about just about everything. We both feel kind of beat up and worn out. Let me give you an example of what we bicker about. My husband gets home from UPS at 10:30PM. I tell him that I might be able to pick up a Wednesday night shift at the restaurant. He says “will you please pick it up, we need the extra money”. My response should have been “Sure darling dearest! I want to help our family in any way I can” Can you guess what my response was? I bet you can’t! I said “I JUST SAID I WAS GOING TO PICK IT UP!” and then I continued with my madness with, “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D ASK ME TO WORK MORE THAN I ALREADY AM!” For clarification purposes you should know that I don’t work more than 20 hours a week at the restaurant so this is a ludicrous statement from the get go. Of course at this point my husband must be thinking, “Who is this person? What did I say? Are we having the same conversation?” As you can imagine, knowing me, the rest of the conversation continued downhill.
These are not rare occasions that I decide to over-react. I know you are all thinking “You? Over-react? NO!!” But it’s true, I am too quick to anger. Another example from today: I was working and a couple came at 11:00 (what time we open). They didn’t leave until 3:00 (an hour after I’m usually gone). The couple occupied one of my four tables for my entire shift and they left me four dollars, less than 20%. I was LIVID! I told all my co-workers how mad I was and that I can’t believe how rude people are sometimes. As soon as I left, I called my husband and told him how mad I was and that I CANNOT believe these people… “if I ever see them come in again I’m going to tell them to go sit in someone else’s section!”
Remember, I am in my car at this point, driving home from work. About ten seconds after I get off the phone with my husband I hear this loud crash. I can’t see what happened because there is a garbage truck right in the middle of the intersection ahead of me. All the cars in front of me started going around this truck when the light turns green, and I start thinking, “Great! Stupid man can’t drive and now I’m not going to make it through this green light!” I do make it through the light, and on the other side of this truck I see glass everywhere. I see people on the other side of the highway jumping out of their cars and running towards me. I see the truck driver grabbing a fire extinguisher and jumping out of his truck. I look to my right as I continue to pass the truck and I see what used to be a Toyota Camry. I see a fire. I see that the drivers side door is now somewhere on the passenger’s side of the car. I see that there is no way that anyone is getting out of this car alive. And then, I don’t see anything at all because I can’t stop the hot tears from gushing down my face. I start screaming “GOD, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, let them know You!!”
I keep driving home because I know that there is nothing that I can do. I just cry and pray and cry. I keep thinking, somebody just lost a brother, or a sister, or a daughter, or a son, or a friend, or a husband, or a wife. After several minutes of those thoughts I begin to personalize the shock. I begin to think about what my husband and I have been arguing about. I begin to think about all the opportunities to do what was right that I passed up. I think about all the times I consider calling my mother or sister but don’t because I’m just too tired. I start to see how selfish I am, and how careless I am with my words. I see that I have this unconscious attitude of being unbeatable. I can’t die, or be hurt, or lose an argument. I see that I think I deserve so much. I deserve a bigger tip. I deserve a better section. I deserve a bigger thank you. I deserve for my husband to tell me to put my feet up. I deserve a vacation from my 20 hours a week. I deserve only green lights. I don’t think about how I deserve hell. I don’t think about how God provides, not the people who come camp out in the restaurant. I don’t think about how my husband works 60 hours a week. I don’t think about how much I’ve been given. I am alive, I have my parents, I have my Savior, I have a healthy beautiful nephew, I have loving in-laws, I have a sister who would walk through fire for me, I have a husband who works 60 hours a week so that I can work 20 and take care of our house… so that I can be what I’ve always wanted to be when I grow up, a wife and a mother, I have a church body that bends over backwards every time we have a “crisis”, I have friends that laugh with me, I have so much more than I deserve. Nothing in this world teaches us that we don’t deserve a single good thing. We are taught that we deserve a new car, we deserve a big house, we deserve a family, we deserve, deserve, deserve… So often in my arguments with my husband this phrase is said, “I DON’T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THIS WAY!” Well sure you do! You deserve a lot worse!
I have a problem with anger. I have a problem with my temper. I have a problem with forgetting the lessons that I learn. I will probably lose this shock-induced clarity in about a week. I just wanted to share this with you so that maybe you could have a week of clarity with me. Maybe this time it will stick, maybe our perspectives will change. Or maybe we just need to help remind each other of what really matters.