stories: I thought she was rude
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
We met “Sheila” (or rather, one of her children) the first day we met people in the Neighborhood (our name for a local government assisted housing project). I thought she was rude.
After our friend Cathy introduced us to several of her neighbors, she had to return home. We still had one bag of produce left. So, we knock on the next door. A young boy (around 11-12) answered the door. He said his mother was on the phone and couldn’t come to the door. (I thought that was rude.) I gave him the bag of fruits and vegetables and told him we were friends of their neighbor Cathy. He said, “Okay,” then took the produce and closed the door.
The next week, when we returned to the neighborhood, we had a great time visiting the neighbors that we had met the previous week… well, except for Sheila’s family. Once again, when we knocked on her door, one of her children answered – I think it was her 8 year old daughter this time, with the toddler not far behind. Once again, she said her mother was on the phone and couldn’t come to the door. I gave her the bag of produce and left.
On the way home, I talked to Margaret (my wife) about how rude it was for this lady to send her children to the door. I mean, she was only talking on the phone. She could always call back. There was only one word to describe it – RUDE!
This went on for several weeks. I would knock on the door. One of the children would open the door and explain that their mother was on the phone. The child would take the fruits and vegetables, and that would be the end of it. We knew very little about this family except that there were at least three children and the mother was rude.
One week, some friends decided to join us. So, we went through the neighborhood in two different groups – one group with me, and one group with Margaret. Our group had a great time talking to the neighbors. We were able to spend more time with each person, and (since our friends bought produce, too) we were also able to meet a few new neighbors.
Being the kind gentleman that I am, I left Margaret with the responsibility of stopping by Sheila’s house. When we met up again, Margaret was excited to tell me what happened. This time, when Margaret knocked on the door, Sheila answered. She talked to Margaret for a long, long time. Apparently, Sheila works on Saturday mornings, and when she was “on the phone”, she was actually working. (wow… imagine that… Not only did I misunderstand her, I was the one being rude by interrupting her work.)
Margaret and Sheila hit it off immediately. She told Margaret that she was divorced, and actually had four children. The daughter that we had not met was away at college. Over the next few weeks, Margaret always went to Sheila’s house, and she always talked to Sheila. If she was working, then she would ask Margaret to come back by. When Margaret came back, Sheila would be on the porch waiting for her. The thing that Margaret noticed first about Sheila was how much she appreciated the produce that we brought, and how much she appreciated that time that Margaret spent with her.
We also found out that besides working to support her family, Sheila also attended community college. She would finish her classes soon, and then would do an internship. She wanted to find a better job in order to support her family better.
Sheila has had a rough life. I’m surprised that she ever started talking to us in the first place. I imagine that it is very difficult for her to trust people, especially men. But, I will have to tell more of Sheila’s story another time.
Church Service
Our weekend was filled with church service. No, not that kind of church service. In fact, we did not attend our church’s weekly meeting yesterday. And, while we missed seeing and spending time with everyone, there are some things that are more important than meeting.
Saturday morning we helped a family move (actually, other friends finished packing the truck before we got there, so we just spent some time with everyone before they had to leave). After that, we spend some time in the neighborhood and in the nursing home. After that, we helped some other friends work on their house. (I have a great story about this. I hope to share it later this week.)
Sunday morning, as we were getting ready to meet with the church, Margaret got a phone call from one of our closest friends. Her father is dying of brain cancer, and she had had a rough night. We decided to drive down to South Carolina where he is in the hospital and spend some time with them.
So… alot of church service this weekend… and alot of meeting with the church at various homes and even in a hospital… but we didn’t attend the “church meeting”.
Oh… and today is my birthday.
stories: Just a small gift
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
This story was sent to me by a reader named Mark. If you would like for me to publish your story of how you or someone else demonstrated God’s love to others, please email them to me. My email address is in the left sidebar of this blog.
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Every Christmas, I give a small gift to everyone on Christmas Eve and the kids get new pajamas. I hide the presents and after the Christmas Eve service, I give out clues that lead to each present. In the past, I have just gone out and purchased small, random gifts for this. This past year, I decided to change things up a little bit.
For each adult, I purchased a $5 McDonald’s gift card. Once everyone got their card, I explained that the gift card was given with special rules. I told them that the gift card was not for them. It was for someone who they found to be in need. I encouraged them to carry the card with them and that they would know when they crossed paths with the person who needed it. Once they give the card away, they can call me and I’ll give them another one, or they can buy another one themselves.
One of my Christmas presents for my wife was to a theater show in downtown Jacksonville. When we parked in the garage downtown, a pleasant gentlemen approached us as we were leaving and mentioned the cold weather. We made a little bit of small talk as we walked, and he started to tell us that many people don’t like to give him cash, but some people are willing to buy some food for him and asked if we could help. As was my new custom, I had the McDonald’s card in my pocket. I gave him the card and told him I was happy to help.
He said, “That’s the love of Christ!” and walked away.
I can only hope that this is as contagious to the rest of my family as it was for me!
stories: The Neighborhood
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
Not too long ago, we met a lady named Cathy. Cathy began meeting with the church on Sundays, and we were able to get to know her a little more. There are many stories that I could tell about Cathy, but this story is about her neighborhood.
Cathy lives in a government assisted housing development – a project. Every Sunday, she would ask for prayer or for help for her neighbors. We would pray for them and help them as we could. We furnished her next door neighbor’s apartment when he moved.
As Cathy continued to talk about her neighbors, I realized that God was giving me an opportunity to get to know some people who were very different from me in many ways. I talked with Cathy and told her that I would like to meet her neighbors. She was excited about it and said that she would introduce me.
I was glad that Cathy was going to introduce me, because I wouldn’t be going in as a stranger. But, I also wanted some other way to demonstrate Christ’s love to the people in the neighborhood. After talking with a few people, I decided to take small bags of fresh produce with me to give to Cathy’s neighbors. I knew that some charities took food to this neighborhood, but they usually took old cakes and cookies or old food that the grocery stores couldn’t sell. Since our family had recently started eating healthier, I decided to bring fresh produce to encourage healthy eating habits.
The next Saturday morning, I stopped by the roadside produce stand and bought some vegetables and fruit for five small grocery bags – potatoes, beans, squash, apples, oranges, onions, tomatoes… probably only about $5 worth in each bag. Then, I drove to Cathy’s apartment. I gave Cathy the first bag of produce and talked with her for a few minutes. Then, she introduced me to two of her neighbors and told me about a few other neighbors.
As she introduced me to her neighbors, she simply said, “This is my friend, Alan. He wanted to meet you.”
I would then explain that I had some fresh vegetables and fruit for them, then start talking with them. It was easy to get to know them with Cathy there, because they trusted her. Eventually, they would start to trust me as well. But, at this point, I just wanted to get to know them… to listen to their stories… to learn from them.
Eventually, Cathy had to return to her apartment. I still had one bag of produce left, because some of the people she wanted to introduce me to were not at home. So, I knocked on someone’s door – someone that Cathy had not introduced me to. A child opened the door, and I told him that I was a friend of their neighbor’s (Cathy), and I wanted to give them some fresh produce. (This neighborhood is used to getting handouts, so this would not be surprising to him.) I asked if his mother or father was at home, and he told me his mother was on the phone. Each week that I came back to that house, the mother was on the phone. The children would thank me for the vegetables and fruit, then shut the door. I thought it was rude… but eventually we became very close to this family… but that’s another story.
The next Saturday, my family joined me. We knocked on the doors of the people that I had met the previous week. Most of them remembered me, and were happy to meet my family. Again, when we had talked to everyone we knew who was at home, there was an extra bag, so we knocked on another door, and met someone new.
We’ve been visiting the people in Cathy’s neighborhood for almost a year now. Over the months, another family and a few other friends started going with us. We were able to spend more time talking with the neighbors and buy more produce than when I started. But, we always made sure that people remained the most important. If someone was outside their apartment, we would stop and talk to them, even if we did not have produce. If the people wanted to talk, we would talk. If they did not want to talk, we wouldn’t talk. But, we made ourselves available.
We’ve had opportunities to drive some of the neighbors to doctor’s appointments, or pick them up when they were released from the hospital. We’ve had opportunities to tutor some of the neighbors and provide toys at Christmas. We invited friends to help us rake leaves last fall and sing Christmas carols in December. We’ve laughed and cried and listened and talked and prayed and encouraged and admonished and lived with these wonderful people for almost a year.
Through this time, we’ve seen God change some of the neighbors, and we’ve seen God change us. I have many, many more stories to tell from the time that we spend in the neighborhood. But, I will have to tell those stories another day.
It is difficult to be served
Have you ever noticed that it is often difficult to allow someone else to serve you? I’ve found this true in my own life, and I saw it someone else’s life last week.
A elderly lady who lives in the government assisted housing project where we spend time each week has skin cancer on her ear. My wife found out last week that she needs a special pillow so that she can sleep without pain, but she can’t afford the pillow. I talked to the lady, found out how much the pillow cost, and we decided that we could afford to buy the pillow for her.
When I told her that we wanted to buy the pillow for her, she protested. She didn’t want us to spend our money on her pillow. I asked her, “Have you ever bought anything for someone else? Have you ever had the opportunity to serve someone else?”
She replied, “Oh, yes! Many times, especially when I was younger and in better health. It was a blessing from God to be able to serve other people.” (Seriously, I’m not making this up.)
I said, “Then, why would you deny us the opportunity to serve you?”
Of course, I’ve seen this same response in myself as well. I love to do things for other people, but I don’t often like it when other people do things for me. Why? Well, in my own life, I would have to say that it’s pride. Yep. I’m proud. And, by the way, that’s sin.
I like to think that I’m independent… which is a complete lie. In reality, I am dependent on God. And, since God often works through his children, we are interdependent upon one another. But, we’re so proud that we often refuse the help that God provides us. In fact, we often even refuse to admit that we need help.
Pride. We should just admit it. It’s sin, and it’s hurting our relationship with God and with one another.
stories: A counter top helps people see Christ
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
A reader named Jim (“Journaling for Growth“) sent me this story:
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My wife, Vicki sold an annuity product to a minister and his wife. They are ministers to the Mattaponi American Indian Reservation here in Central Virginia. Vicki stated how nice it would be to have a purpose to visit the Mattaponi.
The minister said there was a woman who needs a lot of help. She is the daughter of May who was (she has since past) unable to get out of bed. May’s daughter never left the trailer they live in on the reservation while May was ill.
The daughter of May ( I am unable to recall her name) had a full time job that did not earn an income. The trailer they live in had no skirting around it to keep the pipes from freezing and the heat from escaping through the floor. The kitchen sink was being held up by cinder block because of water damage to the counter top around the opening for the sink. There was a need to repair the handicap ramp, the water heater was falling through the floor because it had been leaking at the joints and the window mounted air conditioner had stopped working.
My wife, Vicki and I went to the reservation to see what needed repaired and how we would make the repairs. We took measurements for a new counter top. We measured for skirting to put around the trailer. And I inspected to discover what I needed to do to repair the floor under the water heater and fix the leak on the water heater. I observed the hot water line to the kitchen sink had been completely disconnected because it had frozen and the brother of this woman did not know how to fix it. A poor excuse for disconnecting the water line but that is what he had done.
I attended our weekly small group meeting and took the opportunity to ask if I could get their help in making these repairs. Vicki and I paid for the material and the group was willing to meet us and help throughout the day. The ladies from the group volunteered to clean the small Baptist church building that was on the reservation while we men worked on the repairs. Behind my back, a few of the ladies organized a food drive to give food to this family. It was amazing! We accomplished all that needed to be done. And even further, we paid for a booth at our churches annual craft show on behalf of the Mattaponi Reservation so that the people of the reservation could sell their crafts there.
There was a problem in knowing how we would be able to afford a new counter top for this trailer. Vicki and I had already spent quite a bit and just could not do any more. We did not feel right in asking the people of our small group to contribute any money since we were already benefiting from their willingness to help with the work and their creative thinking in how they themselves could do more for the reservation than we had planned. So, we committed it to prayer.
In church, the Sunday prior to going to the reservation, my wife and I were talking to Ray and Thelma. We were discussing their recent move into a home they had purchased. Ray began discussing the remodeling of the house. He was complaining that he has been repeatedly put off by the cabinet maker and finally, that week, Ray and Thelma would be getting their new counter top and sink!
I said, “Ray. You are part of God’s plan to help these people see Christ. Can I have your old sink and counter top?â€
Ray could not believe that he was complaining when he realized what I needed his old counter top and sink for. He even gave us the faucet with the sink. The counter top was too long. But, that was better than being too short. We cut it to cover the cabinets and tied the new plumbing in.
At the end of our day of work, Don Stewart, the minister to the Mattaponi read from his Bible to May and her daughter. We’re not certain May ever understood. We hope that her daughter did and that she would have spoken to May, giving her an opportunity to accept the Lord. After May had passed, Don Stewart said the daughter had attended a church service at the Baptist church on the reservation. Don retired this past year as a minister as he has a neurological illness. We don’t know if May or her daughter accepted the Lord. But, I know the Lord is proud of the work we did that day. I had been back a few times to tie some loose ends on the projects we did.
True marks of the church
Thank you to Dave Black for reminding us of “the true marks of the church” (Sunday, March 1, 2:42 pm):
Our fellowship has the true marks of the church — love for Christ and love for others. However biblical a church may be, however orthodox its theology, however properly it may “observe the sacraments,” however accurately it may “preach the Word,” it is not a true church unless it is characterized by love and mutual edification. So let me thank the sister who reminded me this morning of the importance of forgiveness, the brother who reminded me that church is not a place but a people, the sister who reminded me that God is still in the miracle-working business, and the brother who reminded me that I am saved by grace alone. I have not earned it, nor could I earn it.
I also thank God for those brothers and sisters in Christ who often demonstrate “the true marks of the chruch” toward us and those around them.
Romans and Worship
This post continues the discussion of worship – see my post “Worship again“. In Romans chapters 1-11, Paul tells his readers, among other things, that both Jews and Gentiles alike are justified, sanctified, and glorified by the grace of God through Jesus Christ. Beginning in Romans 12:1, we find that Paul uses several “priestly” words in association with followers of Jesus – “present/offer”, “sacrifice”, “worship/service”:
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. (Romans 12:1 ESV)
These followers of Jesus are now priests of God. The word “worship/service” (λατÏεία – latreia) along with the verb form is especially interesting because that word group is used to indicate the work of priests in the Old Testament.
There is another cluster of “priestly” words found towards the end of the book of Romans:
But on some points I have written to you very boldly by way of reminder, because of the grace given me by God to be a minister of Christ Jesus to the Gentiles in the priestly service of the gospel of God, so that the offering of the Gentiles may be acceptable, sanctified by the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:15-16 ESV)
In this passage, Paul explains that he is a priest of God as well. Just the Roman believers were to work as priests of God, so did Paul. But, what does this “priestly service” look like? I think we find this described in the passages between Romans 12:1 and Romans 15:15-16.
What does “priestly service” look like for a follower of Jesus? It begins by recognizing the grace of God, and serving others through the gifts that he gives to all his followers through the Spirit. (Romans 12:3-8) “Priestly service” continues through the way we interact with one another – beginning with genuine love, but including hospitality, blessing and rejoicing, etc. (Romans 12:9-21)
“Priestly service” for the follower of Jesus also includes responding correctly to government authorities. (Romans 13:1-7) To emphasize the importance of love, Paul again instructs us to love one another – this is not just a feeling, but a manner of living. (Romans 13:8-14) Our worship/service also includes accepting one another and not judging one another – even concerning “religious” concepts. (Romans 14:1-15:7)
How do we “worship” God? We worship God in the way that we serve, submit to, love, and accept one another. When do we worship? Well, we worship when we serve, submit to, love, and accept one another. What if we’re not doing these things? Then we’re not worshiping.
What if we’re singing and listening to preaching, but we not demonstrating love to those around us? Then we’re not worshiping. What if we’re demonstrating God’s love to those around us, but we’re not singing nor listening to preaching. Then, we’re worshiping.
Looking at Romans 12-15, we see how worship to Paul has very little to do with what Christians often call worship today. Can singing and listening to preaching be beneficial. Sure. But, we should not confuse these with worship.
If we wish to express worship/service to God in ways that he finds pleasing and acceptable, then we will take Paul’s instructions to the Romans seriously: we will demonstrate genuine love, submit to governmental authorities, love through the way that we live, and accept people just as they are – the way that Christ accepts them. Of course, its easier to attend a “worship service”.
Everyday Missional
As most of my readers know, our family serves people in various ways. We spend time with people in a local nursing home and government assisted housing project. But, in reality, these opportunities to serve God by serving other people are the tip of the iceberg.
What do I mean by that? I mean that primarily God uses us to serve people in simple, everday ways. Grace at “Kingdom Grace” has written an excellent post about this type of serving in a post called “Missional in the Moment“.
Grace expresses how she has learned to serve people moment by moment:
- The main thing that I learned about myself is that in order to love others, I usually have to go one step beyond what I am culturally comfortable with. I was raised to respect other people’s privacy, to be non-intrusive, to be non-demonstrative, and to be somewhat introverted about approaching others. Not that I am now obnoxious, but in order to express care to others, I have to step outside of my comfort zone and risk stepping into theirs.
- I have also discovered that I have to stay present in the moment and present to the people around me. Most missional moments appear fairly insignificant.
- Missional moments look like an opportunity to let someone know that I care about them and what they are going through, sometimes just with words, sometimes with specific actions.
- Remembering I carry within me the light, power, and life of Jesus Christ, the choice is always available to me to share that love with others or to withhold it. I try to be generous with His abundant love.
- I am sharpening my awareness that everywhere around me are people who need words of life and sharpening my sensitivity to where God is at work.
- From a kingdom perspective, every act of love and care is an investment in eternity. I remind myself of the eternal significance of even the smallest opportunities to love.
- That’s it. Learning moment by moment to hear from the Father, to follow the Spirit, and to share the love of Jesus in every imaginable opportunity that presents itself during my day.
There is alot of wisdom is what Grace has to say. We’ve found that God gives amazing opportunities to serve and demonstrate his love to others when we are aware of the people that he puts in our lives, and when we are willing to go beyond our comfort zone. What do you think about Grace’s list?
stories: Mrs. Jennie
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
My friends go to the nursing home almost every week to read the Bible and sing songs. Before they begin to read and after they sing, my friends (along with their four boys) make their way from resident to resident and pass out hugs and listen to their stories. Since I was not teaching last summer, I went with them a few times. On my first visit, I met Mrs. Jennie.
Mrs. Jennie is in her mid-eighties and rides around in a motorized wheelchair because her legs are very weak. I sat beside her the day that I met her, and I held the song book open for her when we sang. She later told me that she couldn’t see the words, but she appreciated me holding the book for her.
After my friend read from Matthew’s gospel about “the least of these”, Mrs. Jennie leaned over to me. In her New York City accent she said, “I’m not an atheist, but all this religion stuff is new to me. I only come to Story Time because of him”. She pointed at the three year old son who was passing out song books to the residents with a big smile on his face. When he got to us, he handed me a song book and grinned at Mrs. Jennie. She touch his hair and beamed back at him.
We made a connection that day, and my family has fallen in love with Mrs. Jennie. We visit her in the nursing home every week. As we got to know her, she started telling us more about herself and her family. We found out that she has a daughter that she doesn’t talk to, and that there was even a restraining order once. She told us that she had two sons (“Both of them were good boys”), and they both died in traffic accidents when they were 21. Each one left a wife and child behind – and a mother who wondered why they were taken from her.
Mrs. Jennie talks about how she’s different now than she once was. She talks about how she was once mean and angry and sad, but now she feels “blessed”. One day, when we were visiting with us, she pulled out an evangelistic tract that a well-meaning person had given her. She said, “He wanted to push me to make a decision. I told him that I couldn’t pray something that I didn’t mean in my heart. Plus, I told him that if I needed to talk to someone, I have you and your family.”
In December and January, we were out of town for several weeks, both because we were travelling for Christmas and New Years, and because my wife’s father had open heart surgery. We sent word to Mrs. Jennie through our friends, so that she would know what was going on and why we were not visiting her.
Later, the kids and I came back home and left Margaret in Alabama for a few more weeks to take care of her father. We went to see Mrs. Jennie not long after we got back home. The first thing she did as ask about Margaret’s father. Then she said, “Tell Margaret that I’m praying for him. I don’t know how to pray, so I look out my window and talk to God like he’s here with me. I think he hears me.”
Last week, for Valentine’s Day, we gave Mrs. Jennie a bouquet of roses. She barely talked for our whole visit. Finally she said, “I don’t know what to say. No one has ever given me flowers before. Not even my husband.” She half-smiled and half-cried for the remainder of our visit.
On one visit, Mrs. Jennie surprised us with a gift. She had painted a picture of a cross and had it framed for us. When she gave it to me, she pointed to the cross and said, “I’m very close”. Mrs. Jennie still struggles with the death of her sons. She still wonders why God would take them away from her. But, God is changing her. I’m glad that God has allowed our family to be part of her life and part of the process that he’s using to draw her to himself.