I’m not opposed to loving everyone, but I don’t know if I can love THAT one!
Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we tend to dehumanize and depersonalize following Jesus. What do I mean? I mean that we are find with loving everyone, but he often have trouble loving that specific person. But, we must understand that failing to love that specific person IS failing at love.
In the same way, we often consider our work – our service, perhaps – to the masses, but fail at working with or serving a specific person. For example, perhaps we can teach a class or a congregation, but can we teach that THAT person? You know the person that I’m talking about… the person who really needs to learn… and from whom you need to learn.
As long as we can fuzzify (I like that word) our focus on “everyone” and never one that specific person, then we can think that we’re doing something. But, that person that is hard to love, hard to deal with, hard to serve, hard to talk to… THAT person may be the very one that God is leading you to interact with. But, as long as we keep our focus on the fuzzy “everyone,” then we may miss THAT person that God is leading us to.
I remember having a discussion recently with someone about discipling others. The person told me about the classes he taught and the material he used and the times he studied. But, when I asked him a specific example of how he was helping a specific person follow Jesus, he did not have an answer. Now, perhaps this was simply not a question he was ready to answer. But, it could also be that his focus was on the fuzzy “everyone,” and he was missing the actual people involved, the individuals who need individual help to follow Jesus. He was not discipling people; he was discipling some amorphous, dehumanized, depersonalized mass.
So, whether we are focusing on any people that God brings into our lives, or focusing on a specific person that we may find hard to love, teach, serve, etc… we must remember that in Christ our focus is people… individuals… not a faceless crowd or an amorphous, dehumanized mass.
Yes, we love everyone; but loving everyone starts with THAT person… and those specific individuals
Guest Blogger: Identifying with the Shunammite
I’ve invited several people to write “guest blog posts” for this blog. There are several reasons for this: 1) To offer different perspectives. 2) To generate even more discussion and conversation between blogs. 3) To introduce other bloggers to my readers.
(If you are interested in writing a guest blog post, please contact me at aknox[at]sebts[dot]com.)
Today’s post was written by Greg Gamble. You can follow Greg on Twitter (@ChurchExodus).
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It’s been close to 40 yrs since the Lord Jesus captured my heart and I’ve been reflecting on the parallels between my life, our life together and our story as God’s family. It also took 40 yrs in the wilderness for Gods people to be transformed from slaves building someone else’s kingdom to sons building their own. That refining pattern appears to be repeated in the church throughout history.
King David and his men, in the wilderness, knew the times, had a sense of destiny, understood their place in the trajectory of God’s eternal plan and fell in line with what He was doing through David. Happily, many of us are likeminded as we follow our David, the Lord Jesus, as we journey thru this church wilderness.
But there is a neglected narrative in scripture, hiding in the open, which is the framework for changing from desert dwelling slaves to sons of the Heavenly Jerusalem. It’s not explicit but God purposefully wove it into the shadows of the life experiences and relationships of those that love Him. God shrouds Himself in mystery, and allows confusion and misrepresentation of His nature without setting the record straight. And though it’s us doing the misrepresenting, He ignores it, and like a true lover, focuses on us, making us chase Him, so we appreciate Him and how He has chased us.
What corrects the misrepresentation is our changed lives, as we also ignore the wrong understandings we have of Him and each other, and simply love one another as He commands us.
The hidden narrative is knowing Him, in deep, intimate marriage like love, and in a similar shadow way, knowing one another, no longer after the flesh, but in Him.
Titles, architecture, family ties and all earthly structures don’t factor into this knowing. There’s no prescription or 12 step programs in scripture for getting from the wilderness to Jerusalem above. The scriptures themselves don’t say the scriptures are Life, though Jesus said they point to Him. He alone is Life, and we should stop trying to squeeze life from ink and draw from Him, and Him in one another.
I was saved at 17 from a wicked life, didn’t understand church and spent my time alone. I knew I was defective, sought to be rid of my residual guilt and brokenness, and stumbled upon the Song of Solomon in the O.T.
May I suggest you spend a few hours reading and contemplating this love poem if you haven’t?
I identified with the Shunammite as she fell in love with her beloved, intuitively sensing my own longing for eternal love, affection and meaningful life.
I was transfixed from the start, and in spite of the many wonderful, and challenging attributes of this life, and my life together with others who love Him, He’s kept me falling in love with Him in response to His endless love for me.
Through the years I’ve been reduced to loving and being loved by God and people, over and over again. Life has been convoluted and exciting, and some might say unorthodox.
The themes in Scripture, the wisdom of biblical church structure, the certainty of faith, many miracles, the joy and the losses have not compared to my Beloved, as He has drawn close, hidden Himself, chased me and waited for me. Everything and everyone in this life feeds into the grand narrative of knowing Him, like the Shunammite, in chaste and intimate love. God’s love is marriage love, and until we lose our fear, and surrender to Him as He woos us into a marriage relationship with His Son in our daily walk, we will struggle with things we need not, and argue about trifles. Especially the important trifles like church structure, leadership, kingdom principles et al.
Through the craziness and conflicts of this life He is bonding us together with a shadow of that same marriage relationship, drawing us from the slavery of working to please Him and one another to the liberty of family and lovers, walking together with Him in His garden. We are being enlarged from individuality to a family by being reduced to love, the starting place of Life in Him.
I haven’t been part of the big church scene, but I still identify with the bondage and frailty that has marred the testimony of Christ amongst us as a people, because we are all in the wilderness.
I’ve quit trying to get out of this wilderness of uncertainty, vast differences in life experiences, conflicting visions and pain from broken relationships. The only escape from the wilderness is the Jordan River ie death to self.
I’m resting in Him, as if I am in a garden, and as if I’m happily married and content.
We can choose to get past trying to fix what we have broken, and not try to figure out how He is fixing it either.
The Hebrew Christians were told there is a Rest, where we have ceased from our own works, entering into His Rest, where we discover that which we were furiously searching for all along.
We find Jesus, as our lover, and soon to be husband.
He’s not anxious about the state of the church, our families, the environment, world government et al. This is part of the process of our Shunamite journey.
He owns this wilderness we are in, and we would be wise to change our discourse to speak less of our own journey and more of our Beloved, and His attributes, His features and His love for us, as the Shunammite did.
It’s the language of love, which includes church building.
Her journey started with how much He loved her, moved to how much she loved Him and finally returned to how much He loved her, and that process turned her wilderness into a garden.
That’s the vision Jesus has for His church, His bride, His wife.
Don’t let lesser visions, no matter how legitimate, rob us from Knowing Him together.
He saved us, not because of our good works, to do good works
There is a famous passage in Paul’s letter to Titus that is often used to explain that God does not save anyone because of their good works: [H]e (i.e., “God our Savior”) saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy. (Titus 3:5 ESV)
This is a very important statement that Paul writes to Titus, and one that we must always keep in mind. We must never slip into thinking or living as if God saves us or accepts us because of our good works. As Paul says, God saves because of his mercy, not because of our actions.
With that said, let’s look carefully at Paul’s statement in context:
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The saying is trustworthy, and I want you to insist on these things, so that those who have believed in God may be careful to devote themselves to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people. (Titus 3:1-8 ESV)
In the passage above, I’ve highlighted the section in which Paul emphasizes that salvation is a work of God according to his mercy, through Jesus Christ, by grace, by the washing and regeneration of the Holy Spirit. Every phrase in the bold section points away from our works as the reason that God saves us.
Now, look at the sentences before and after the bold part of the passage above. In both sections, Paul emphasizes good works. In the first part, he says believers should be ready for “every good work” and lists several different examples. In the last part, he says that those who believed in God should “devote themselves to good works.” In fact, he says good works are “excellent and profitable.”
While we’re thinking about these things, we can’t forget Titus 2:1-15. In that passage (which leads up to the one above), Paul focuses on older men and older women helping younger believers do good things. He even says that God is redeeming a people who will be “zealous for good works.” (Titus 2:14 ESV)
These two passages (Titus 2 and Titus 3) should be a good reminder for us. Yes, in the middle of Paul’s exhortation toward helping other brothers and sisters to do good works, he reminds Titus (and us) that we are not saved by those good works. However, if we stop there, then we will miss that Paul is focusing on good works throughout these two chapters.
For a child of God, are good works important? Absolutely! Are we saved because of those good works? No, of course not. But, they are extremely important.
So, be zealous for good works. Be ready to do every good work. Devote yourself to good works. These things are excellent and profitable for people, especially for those of us who are saved by the grace of God.
Is this the connection between love and membership?
I’ve written several posts on the topic of church membership as it is typically practiced today. Unfortunately, I think the concept of church membership tends to separate brothers and sisters in Christ from one another, and it tends to give us a false sense of unity when in fact we are quite divided.
Other authors have taken up this topic with much more eloquence (and often brevity) than me.
For example, Arthur at “The Voice of One Crying Out in Suburbia” recently published a short post called “A quick thought on ‘church membership’ and titles.” Without getting into the “titles” part of his post (which is good in itself), I simply want to point out two very short – but extremely important – sentences that Arthur uses to begin his post:
If you love one another, “membership” is completely unnecessary.
If you don’t love one another, “membership” won’t make a difference anyway.
Arthur said that he was paraphrasing this from something that he had read previously. Those are strong statements… and completely within the concepts of being “members together with one another” as we read in Scripture.
Yes, there is a strong connection between love and membership in the context of Scripture. And, I think Arthur’s statements (or whoever’s statements) above point out that “church membership” will not make up for a deficiency in love.
What do you think?
I owe you love
Punctuation is very important in the title of this post. The title of the post is “I owe you love.” The title is NOT “I owe you, love.” There is a difference.
(As an aside, I wanted to call this post “IOU <3" but I was afraid that some people wouldn't get it. My family would get it.) Like many people, I have a love/hate relationship with St. Valentine's Day. Many (many) years ago, I had a creative brainstorm, and I did something for St. Valentine's Day that blew away my wife. (I'm not bragging... I'm not romantic. It was quite abnormal for me.) Anyway, since that year, I've always felt pressured to "live up" to that St. Valentine's Day, I've never felt any new idea even came close, so I've typically given up and punted to the card and/or candy deal. This post is not really about St. Valentine's Day. I mean, if I had forgotten to get my wife something for St. Valentine's Day, then I could have called this post "I owe you, love." But, I didn't. The post is called "I owe you love." However, it was in thinking about St. Valentine's Day that I was reminded of a short command written by Paul to the Christians in Rome. (Yes, it is a command, interestingly enough.)
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. (Romans 13:8 ESV)
Think about that for a moment: Owe no one anything, except to love each other.
I owe you something: love. It’s true. I owe you love. Not because you loved me already, or because you deserve to be love. I owe you love because love has been so lavished upon me by God. I repay him (not really, but that’s the symbolism) by loving you and others. I respond to his love by loving others.
It really is that simple.
And, it really is that difficult.
Because, I can’t choose who to love.
And, because I can’t “settle” this “debt.”
If I’ve shown you love every day for last 10 years… I owe you love.
By the way, the “you” in the statement “I owe you love” is general. I may not be able to show love “you” specifically. I may not meet you today, and I may not even run into you during this lifetime. But, when I do come across someone, I owe love to that person.
Interestingly, as difficult as it is to owe people love, it is never presented as a burden in Scripture. Instead, showing love is always presented as a privilege and a joy. I wonder… if I’m struggling to show someone love… perhaps there’s a problem with the source of my love.
Anyway, that will have to wait until another post. For now, I just wanted to remind you and me, that we owe each other love. And, we owe other people love.
Yes, that person right there. You owe that person love.
We cannot choose our neighbors
I live in a neighborhood, and several people live near me as my neighbors. I did not choose who moved into the houses around me. (Of course, in some neighborhoods, covenants are put in place to keep out the wrong kind of people.)
But, this post is not about that kind of neighbor.
This post is about the other kind of neighbor. This post is about the kind of neighbor that Jesus referred to when he told people, “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
In response to this command, someone asked Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” This person wanted to choose his neighbor. He wanted to choose who to love. In response to this question, Jesus tells a story that we now called “The Parable of the Good Samaritan.”
I know that you’ve read it, but please take the time to read it again:
Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
Notice that the priest and the Levite attempted to choose their neighbor. They decided that this man was not their neighbor. Now, it’s often speculated that the priest and the Levite were hurrying along in order to do their temple-based work. Perhaps. Jesus doesn’t include that bit of information in the story, because it doesn’t matter. It does not matter where they were going or what they were planning to do. They decided that the whatever or wherever was more important than taking care of this man, and so they decided that this man was not their neighbor.
Jesus did not give them that option. Notice his final question: “Which of these three proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” You see, at the moment that they passed by and saw the bloody and beaten man lying by the road, both the priest and the Levite were his neighbor. But, they did not demonstrate that the man was their neighbor. Instead, they attempted to choose their neighbor, and in their choosing, they decided this man must not be their neighbor.
Again, Jesus did not give them that option.
So… who is my neighbor? Who is your neighbor? Jesus does not give us the option to choose who is or who is not our neighbor. There may not be a person lying on the side of the road, but I bet there is someone in your life and in my life who is in need of mercy. That person is our neighbor. Right now.
We will prove to be that person’s neighbor?
The need to live the truth, love, and service
Last week, on my post “Have you signed my ‘Guest Book’,” Arlan left a comment that I would like to highlight so that more people read it and think about it.
In the comment, Arlan is actually introducing himself to me and my readers. But, I think his comment goes along well with several of posts investigating fellowship and unity among brothers and sisters in Christ in spite of various kinds of disagreements. My latest post to discuss these issues was called “Unity and Fellowship: Where do you draw the line?”
Here is Arlan’s comment:
I was raised outside of the regular (institutional) church and have spent most of my life outside of any church. I have had some Christian fellowship, particularly with my own family, but I hesitate to call all Christian contact “church” in the sense of those called out by God assembling for the purpose of mutual edification.
Your recent post on unity and fellowship really strikes a nerve. In most of my childhood my family could not find enough unity to maintain fellowship. As I have tried things out on my own I have more often found too much fellowship without unity–a circle of friends, but not of servants, and without much honesty about the real differences between members.
Church, in all its institutional and organic flavors, seems to be a contest between doctrines and good feelings. On the one side they insist on truth at all costs and forget that God loved us while we were his enemies; on the other side they insist on love at all costs and forget that love without truth is false love–treachery, really. If we neglect to admonish each other we are abandoning one another to our sins.
A year ago I went to a Baptist Sunday school that was more concerned with Being Right and also to a home fellowship that was more concerned with Joy, Peace, and Encouragement. In June I moved and I haven’t gotten with any fellowship since. It is hard to even know how to look.
I’ve been to the Searching Together conference in 2008, 2009, and 2011, which is nice to do once a year; but I feel the need to live the truth, love, and service where I am without yet knowing how.
I appreciate Arlan’s last line especially: “I feel the need to live the truth, love, and service…”
Replay: 23 Years with a Missional Wife
Three years ago, I wrote a post called “20 Years with a Missional Wife.” It was part of a series that I did called “Stories.”
Well, as of today, January 14, 2012, Margaret has now been my wife for 23 years. It’s so hard to believe that we have been married for 23 years.
God has taught me so many things through her. Primarily, he has used Margaret to help me understand how to focus on people, how to find out what they need, and then how to serve those needs. I “replay” this post so that you will understand a little bit about what a special wife I have.
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“20 Years with a Missional Wife”
This post is part of my “stories” series. In this series, I share stories of how people live their lives in response to the gospel and as a demonstration of God’s love in order to teach us and to provide an example to provoke us to love and good works. (See “stories: A New Series” for more information about this series.)
Since today is my twentieth wedding anniversary, I thought I would start my “stories” series by talking about my wife. (Yes, I know that its hard to believe that someone would stay married to me for 20 years, but I promise that its true.)
I met Margaret when we were both 10 years old, so we’ve known each other for more than 30 years. In that time, I’ve never heard her use the term “missional”, not even recently when that word seems to be everywhere. But, I have learned more about missional living from her than from anyone else.
She has always been a caring person; the type of person that is deeply affected by other people’s circumstances and emotions. She truly rejoices when others rejoice and weeps when other weep. People notice this about her too, and people love to talk to her – to share their struggles with her.
Another reason that people like to talk to Margaret is that she is very accepting and not judgmental at all. In fact, she finds it easier to accept other people’s faults than to accept her own faults.
These two traits (empathy and acceptance) work together in Margaret to drive her to action. When someone tells her their problems, she wants to serve, comfort, and help. She cannot sit idly by while other people struggle alone. She wants to be part of their struggle. But, she goes beyond “wanting” to help; she actually helps people, giving of herself over and over again.
I’ve seen her comfort someone for hours. She’s made more meals for people than I can count. She’s taken care of people’s children and houses and pets when they could not do it for themselves. She’s given money to people in need – money that she had saved to buy something for herself.
Last fall, Margaret was talking with one of the elderly ladies who lives in government assisted housing development. The lady told Margaret that the housing authority does not rake their leaves. Within a week, Margaret had asked her friends to help her rake leaves. We raked leaves for 6 housing units.
Another time, Margaret was talking with one of the elderly ladies who had been sick. The lady said that she was resting so that she could wash her dishes, because she had not felt like washing them for a few days. Without asking or being asked, Margaret immediately went into the lady’s kitchen and washed her dishes.
These are not out of the ordinary occurrences. She does these kinds of things all the time.
Little things? Yes, these are little things. But, I believe that “missional living” is found more in the little things – the everyday things – the ordinary things – than in the great things. God has taught me how to care for people, how to love them, and how to serve them by watching and imitating Margaret.
I thank God for 20 years with my missional wife. I look forward to many more years.
(Update: I wrote this article several weeks ago. After I wrote it, Margaret’s father had heart problems and underwent bypass surgery. He’s doing well, but he will have a long recovery ahead of him. Margaret once again demonstrated that she’s a servant by staying with her parents for 2-3 weeks to help them through his recovery process. I miss her greatly, but I’m so proud of her decision to serve them.)
God actually cares about THOSE people: lessons from Jonah and Mark
As I’ve mentioned a few times, we ready the books of Jonah and Mark together as a church last Saturday, New Year’s Eve. Then, the next day, Sunday, New Year’s Day, we discussed these two books together.
When we read Jonah then immediately read the first few chapters of the Gospel of Mark (before taking a short break), I noticed something. When we discussed these two books, other people said that they noticed the same thing.
What did we notice? God actually cares about THOSE people!
What people am I talking about? You know what people I’m talking about. THOSE people. People who set themselves against God and his people. People who do not live the right way. People who follows the ways of the world instead of living for God.
God actually cares about THOSE people.
In Jonah, it’s the people of Nineveh. THOSE people were the enemies of Israel. Nineveh was the capital of the Assyrian empire, the very people who would invade Israel in only a few decades. They were pagans, setting themselves against God. And Jonah, the great prophet of God – a man of God – called by God – knew what kind of people these were. They deserved to be destroyed by God because of their wickedness.
But, God had mercy on THOSE people. He gave them the opportunity to repent, they did, and he spared them.
Then, in Mark, the Jewish leaders also recognized the difference between themselves – the holy men of God – and THOSE people. THOSE people were Gentiles, tax collectors, prostitutes, demon possessed, etc. They were stricken by God while the Pharisees and Sadducees and other religious leaders were blessed by God.
But, Jesus took care of THOSE people. He loved them. He touched them. He healed them. He talked with them.
Jesus even ate with THOSE people!
In fact, Jesus put THOSE people above keeping the Sabbath! He put the needs of THOSE people above the rules about devoting your resources to God, for heaven’s sake! What can be better than setting aside your money for God and the temple and the religious leaders (even if it might mean neglecting someone’s parents)?
At least Jonah and Mark were all stories from “back then.” Today, we know the kind of people that Jesus wants us to hang out with. And, he certainly doesn’t want us to spend time with THOSE people. (You know what kind of people I’m talking about.)
Today, God wants us to only hang around his people, people who belong to him, and who live for him (in the way that we think they should live for him).
Yes, I’m sure that God still cares about THOSE people, but he doesn’t expect me to care about them too… right?
Overwhelmed by Love
Now, I know what you may be thinking, and, yes, I am overwhelmed by the love of God for me and for others (for others mostly). And, yes, I’m even overwhelmed by the love of my wife, my family, and many friends.
But, that’s not really what this post is about.
Instead, it’s about our response to God, to Jesus Christ, to the Holy Spirit, to the gospel, to our salvation, etc. Love. Have you ever noticed how many times Scripture talks about our response of love?
I mean, we all know that Jesus said the greatest commandment (and, thus, the greatest response) is to love God and love our neighbors. But, really, even this only scratches the surface.
The prevalence and importance of love to Jesus and the authors of Scripture is overwhelming. It’s almost impossible to find a page in the New Testament that doesn’t include some aspect of love as our proper response to God, his work in our lives, and other people.
Love. God’s love is definitely overwhelming. But, lately, I’ve also been overwhelmed with thinking about, contemplating, and meditating on the extent of the commands, principles, and examples to us toward a life of love.
For you, what is an “overwhelming” verse/passage in Scripture about our love response to God, to his work in our lives, or to others?