Parents and Children
For the next few Sundays, our elders will be leading discussions on various topics. For the last two weeks, we’ve been talking about the gospel and the basics of Christianity. Next week, I’m leading a discussion on parents and children.
I plan to focus the discussion on discipleship – not behavior modification. In other words, what are the parents’ and children’s roles in discipling one another. Are the roles one way?
Similarly, as followers of Jesus Christ, we desire God-honoring relationships with both our parents and our children. What should these relationships look like, especially for grown children?
While I’ve looked into this topic for myself, I was wondering if my readers had any suggestions or comments concerning parents and children. If so, please share with us in the comments.
I don’t really know. I have always been told that honoring your parents meant obeying them but obviously as an adult you don’t obey your parents since they no longer have authority over you (i know that at least married people are Biblically commanded to leave their parents’ authority) so does it have anything to do with obeying? I am interested in this topic as a new parent wondering how to best raise my children. I hope to see thoughts from you and others who have been in the parenting arena for awhile.
Dan,
Thanks for the comment. I think the husband-wife relationship should be our primarily discipling relationship. But the parent-child relationship should be a close second. I’m still thinking through some of this.
-Alan
Alan,
I would say that almost without exception the parent-child discipleship is one way. However, one big caveat is that the parents end up learning so much about themselves and life. Maybe we could call this covert discipleship from the child.
Raising children is a humbling experience, and it must be done in humility. The problem we have as parents, is we don’t have much experience when we start this endeavor. Even now with seven children, it may appear I am experienced. But I have never parented a twenty year old son before. It’s a new challenge.
I have experience with six five year olds. Even with this in mind, my current five year old is different and must be parented differently and individually.
I have made a lot of mistakes. Finding room for repentance and humility goes a long way though. All in all, parenting is impossible with out God’s grace and wisdom.
In conclusion as we go about parenting and living our lives, our hope is that our children will lay hold of Jesus with their own faith and relationship. This requires us to honest and open with our children about our own frailties and failings and our need for the Saviour. It is in our weakness that we are made strong through Him.
Something that my wife and I have learned in the last few years is that when our children accepted Jesus Christ and became Christians they didn’t receive a “Jr. Holy Spirit”, but that as we continue to disciple them as their parents and brother & sister in Christ, that they too can hear from God and edify us during our family time together.
Hi Alan. I haven’t been over to your blog in ages, but I happened to cruise by tonight and saw this post. I thought I’d share a story with you of how I “honored my parents” as an adult.
When Ed asked my dad if he could propose to me, my dad said no. He didn’t think we were right for each other and he thought we were moving too fast. Ed and I felt otherwise (obviously). Ed was 29 at that point and I was 22 and living on my own. We could have just gone ahead and gotten engaged, but we decided to honor my parents and do what we could to help them see things from our perspective. Ed and I spent A LOT of time at my parents’ house for 3 months. My dad even had our pastor come and meet with all 4 of us a few times to talk things through. At the end of those 3 months my parents knew Ed a lot better and had the chance to see Ed and I interact together. My dad took Ed out to lunch one day and told him that he had changed his mind and that Ed and I had his blessing to get married. We got engaged and married a few months later. All with the support of my parents. And my parents have been our biggest supporters ever since. I’m glad we honored my parents in this situation because God has blessed all of us through this restored relationship.
All to say that I think there is always opportunity to put others before ourselves and honor them in doing so.