The church living as family together
There are many different kinds of families, and none of them are perfect. But, it seems that almost everyone knows how families should treat one another.
When we read Scripture about the church, we find that we should also live as family with one another – not that dysfunctional kind of family, but a loving, caring, serving kind of family.
Eric at “A Pilgrim’s Progress” recently talked about this in his post “What Do Families Do?”
Here is the kind of family (church) that Eric finds in Scripture:
Families share their lives with each other.
Families spend a lot of time together.
Families talk, and talk, and talk.
Families support one another.
Families encourage one another.
Families care for each others’ needs.
Families challenge one another.
Families practice discipline for the good of the individual and family as a whole.
Families teach one another.
Families exhort one another.
Families share their struggles with one another.
Families relax together.
Families eat together (a lot).
Families give to one another.
Families sacrifice for one another.
Families stick together during the hard times.
Families serve each other.
Families work together to help other people not in the family.
What do you think?
Preaching, Doctrine, and Church Buildings, but it’s not what you think
There have been some excellent blog posts recently. So many, in fact, that I have not been able to link to all of them. So, in this post, I’m going to link to three posts that I thought were outstanding.
First, Dan at “The Ekklesia in Southern Maine” writes about the “Dangers of Expository Preaching.” Dan is concerned that labels such as “expository preaching” may encourage people to “drop their guard” and think that everything that’s said comes from Scripture. That’s not always the case.
Next, Arthur at “The Voice of One Crying out in Suburbia” says that “Good doctrine is not enough.” He is concerned that many churches are focused on the content of their teaching, while those same churches are lacking in fellowship and mutual relationships. Yep, I talked to someone just recently who recognized that same problem in his church.
Finally, Jeremy at “Til He Comes” says that “Jesus has Left the Building.” He says that we have gone back to what “Jesus has obliterated.” It is interesting that Jesus said he came to destroy the temple, and yet many churches seem to focus on building theirs.
So, what do you think about these posts?
People recognize shallow relationships among the church
Yesterday, I received a “heads up” about a recent survey conducted by Crosswalk.com. The results of the survey are revealed in an article titled “Crosswalk.com Survey: Lack of Connection Biggest Reason Christians Leave Church.”
Here are a few interesting points/quotes from the article:
- 34% of people who attend church leave because of a lack of personal connections there.
- One participant who voiced his discouragement with his church body said, “There is no depth in relationships. People did not have time to be friends to other members.”
- 18% have abandoned a church because they felt unwelcome, and 16% stated their reason as an inability to connect with others.
- 53% agree that the primary reason they currently attend a place of worship is because of the friendships they’ve established.
Now, we can argue about terms like “place of worship” or “abandoned a church,” but let’s not miss the big picture here. People recognize the importance of true relationships. I’m not talking about smiling people who wave and pat you on the back on Sunday morning.
Instead, people are interested in real relationships, in spending time with others – and, generally, the hour or two on Sunday morning does not count (unless of course, Sunday is in the context of Sunday-Saturday). Do you care about them enough to change your busy schedule and include them in your life?
That’s what we do with family. We make time for them.
How does our church meet together (Part 2)
Last week, I wrote “How does our church meet together (Part 1).” In that post, I described what happened when our church gathered together on Sunday, April 3, 2011. I also said that our next weekly meeting (April 10, 2011 – 2 days ago), would be somewhat different.
In this post, I’m going to describe how we met together last Sunday. We’ve met like this several times during the last year, and most people seem to enjoy it tremendously.
Again, people begin arriving just before 10:30 a.m. This time, instead of setting up our chairs in two concentric circles, we set up several tables with chairs around each table. Again, people brought food with them as they arrived.
Around 10:30, we all found seats around the table and began singing a few songs. This time, instead of someone choosing songs for us to sing, each person was given an opportunity to suggest a song for us to sing. The person would also explain why he/she wanted to sing that particular song.
After singing a couple of songs, we read through the book of Colossians again. We’ve been reading through and studying the book of Colossians together for several weeks, and this was to be our last week of studying Colossians. Different people read different parts of the book.
Then, we sang another couple of songs, and I led us through a review of what we had studied so far. This review was extremely interactive. Afterward, one our younger brothers – a 13 year old – had prepared a teaching on Colossians 4:7-18, so he led us in studying that passage as part of our ongoing study. As he stepped through the passage, other people also taught/shared from their own studies.
Next, we broke a loaf of bread and passed it around to begin our meal together. As we ate the bread together, several people “remembered” Jesus by sharing about the significance of his broken body. Then we continued the meal by eating lunch together around the tables. As we ate, each table discussed amongst themselves the significance of what we had learned from the letter to the Colossians.
After we had eaten, a few people from each table shared what they had talked about with the whole group. Then we continued encouraging one another as a group. Eventually, again, this resulted in people asking for prayer, and someone praying for them.
After praying for a while, we passed around the juice (no, we don’t use wine). As we filled our cups, different people “remembered” Jesus and the significance of the cup of the new covenant. By this time, it was about 1:30 p.m., and we had been meeting together for about 3 hours.
Even after drinking from the cup together, many people hung out for a long time. Some of us then went to a local park to play volleyball together.
While the “format” of this meeting was different from the one before, the purpose was the same. We met together to help one another grow in maturity in Jesus Christ.
Teaching without fellowship is not teaching. Fellowship cannot be secondary.
Because of my blog and that topics that I write about, I’m often introduced to people in the Raleigh area who want to talk about church. Often, these people recognize that the church described in the New Testament shared a quality of fellowship and community that is sorely lacking in modern day churches.
Recently, I had the opportunity to have lunch and to talk with someone about that very subject. The two of us actually had quite a bit in common. He and his wife are part of a church in a neighboring town, and he’s concerned about the lack of fellowship.
The leadership at the church is very interested in education, so most so that all of their church meetings – from Sunday “worship service” to their small groups – are centered around teaching. And, more importantly, these meetings are centered around one-way teaching (lecture), where one person presents information to a group (large or small).
The man had already asked his leaders about incorporating more fellowship aspects in some of their smaller meetings, but the leaders were not interested. To them, fellowship must be secondary to lecture.
So what did I do/say?
1) I did not encourage this man to leave his church.
2) I did encourage him to lead the church (and the leadership) in understanding the importance of fellowship, including the important role relationship plays in teaching from a scriptural perspective.
I told him that he might have to seek times of fellowship outside of the scheduled meetings of the church.
I’m praying that his church and leadership are open to listening to him and that they can all grow in fellowship together. I think he can help them alot!
Let me tell you about my family… the church!
As many of you know, I think that it is very important that followers of Jesus Christ recognize and live with one another as brothers and sisters (real brothers and sisters, not just honorific “brothers” and “sisters”). Plus, I would add that these relationships (real relationships) must exist apart from (and perhaps in spite of) the divisions that are caused by “church membership.”
Eric from “A Pilgrim’s Progress” has been writing alot about church as family lately. I don’t know how many more posts like these he is going to write, but I wanted to highlight what he’s written so far:
Family Permanence and Intimacy
I’m glad that more people are examining the importance of treating other Christians as brothers and sisters!
Replay: Thoughts on community development: Intra- and Trans-Community
Two years ago, I wrote a post called “Thoughts on community development.” The post is built on the foundation of two other posts. You’ll find links to those posts below. In this post, I examine both intra-community and trans-community leadership and relationships as found in the New Testament.
————————————-
Thoughts on community development
There was a reason for my two previous posts: “Speaking and Serving” and “Local and Itinerant“. The reason was to get to this post. In this post, I am going to talk about community development – specifically, Christian community development.
We see several Christian communities in the New Testament. Similarly, I think we see patterns for Christian community development. In fact, I suggest that we see four different groups working together to develop a single Christian community.
Itinerant Leadership
In Scripture, Christian community often begins with someone bringing the gospel into an area for the first time. These itinerant workers would move from place to place in order to announce the good news of the kingdom of God. As people became interested in their message, they would gather these people together in order to teach, serve, and help them develop into a Christian community. However, this was not the only reason for itinerant leaders. Often these leaders would return to an area specifically to strengthen a community, to help a community recognize their leaders, or to deal with community problems. But, while these itinerant leaders were very important for community development, they always recognized their role as temporary. They would only stay in an area for a short time (relatively short), either until that community was developing well, or until another community needed them more. These leaders relied on the Spirit of God to tell them when to move on to another location. We see several examples of these itinerant leaders in Scripture: Paul, Barnabas, Timothy, Titus, John Mark, Luke, etc.
Trans-Community Relationships
Second, community development was often enhanced through trans-community relationships. (I talked about this briefly in a post called “The trans-congregational church“.) The Christian communities in the New Testament recognized their interdependence on one another, and they developed and maintained relationships with believers in other communities. However, they did not develop these trans-community relationships simply to demonstrate their interdependence. They developed these relationships because they WERE interdependent, and they recognized the necessity of these relationships. In fact, they believed that the Gospel brought them all together into a single community (church), while this community was manifested in various local communities. We can see these trans-community relationships in the way that churches in one city would help churches in another city (i.e. the collection for the church in Jerusalem, or churches in one city sending support to Paul so he can work in another city). We also see trans-community relationships when the church in one city would send someone to another location for a short time. Similarly, we see these trans-community relationships in the way the believers in different churches were encouraged to greet one another (Romans 16, Colossians 4:15) and share correspondence with one another (Colossians 4:16).
Intra-Community Relationships
This is perhaps the result of community development. But, also, the internal relationships with one another within a community demonstrates the extent of community development. Furthermore, with Christian community, these relationships cannot be directed internally (toward one another) only. Christian community also reaches out to those outside the community in order to invite them and welcome them into the community. The Gospel is once again the basis for the relationships (love of God and love for others) as well as an explanation for how God is bringing different people together into one new people. Those within the community recognize that service and love for one another is actually service and love demonstrated to God. This aspect of Christian community development is perhaps the most prevalent in Scripture. For example, the “one another” passages point to this kind of relationship.
Intra-Community Leadership
Finally, intra-community leadership is important for community development. Notice, however, that in Scripture leadership comes after intra-community relationships. The communities are instructed how to recognize or appoint their leaders after living with them and examining their lifestyles. Leadership is important to a Christian community both as a mature member of the community and as a catalyst for further community development. In Scripture, intra-community leaders are recognized based on their maturity and ability to live in a manner worthy of the Gospel. Similarly, they demonstrate that they are worthy to be followed based on their service to the community. As Jesus told his disciples, their leaders should be servants. According to Scripture, recognizing and following community leadership is an important part of community development.
Further thoughts
The first aspect of community development, “Itinerant Leadership”, is a function of those who are gifted for itinerant work. As mentioned previously in this post and a previous post, this is a temporary role within the community, although it may be a permanent role for the leaders. The other three aspects of community development depend upon those who are gifted for local work. Similarly, both speaking and serving are necessary for each community development aspect.
As I look at these four aspects of New Testament community development, I see the church focusing on only one of the aspects: intra-community leadership. In fact, the church is often defined by its leadership. External, itinerant leadership and trans-community relationships are often non-existent, shallow, or even hindered by the church. Churches tend to live as if they are dependent or, perhaps, only interdependent within their own community. This tendency has hampered Christian community development.
Also, we often view community development backwards. “Churches” begin with the leaders – sometimes layers of leadership – before there are any other people involved. Recognizing leadership is no longer a part of community development. Instead, the community is expected to accept the leadership that its given, often with no questions asked. The “leadership” is the church, and the community is expected to form around the leadership.
Finally, when a community does recognize leadership, it often does so based on non-scriptural requirements: education, training, speaking ability, etc. Rarely is maturity or community service considered, primarily because this is unknown. I believe this is another symptom of our top down (backwards) view of Christian community.
So, what do you think? Do you see these four aspects of Christian community development in the New Testament? Am I missing an aspect? Do you agree or disagree with my thoughts on modern community development? What would you add?
The waiting is the hardest part
Have you ever noticed how often the authors of Scripture exhorted their readers toward patience?
Here are a few examples:
Love is patient… (1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV)
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love… (Ephesians 4:1-2 ESV)
Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:12-13 ESV)
And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14 ESV)
When we think of patience, we often think of waiting out trials or sufferings. And, there are passages of Scripture that encourage us toward that type of patience and perseverance.
However, the passages above have something in common: they all relate to being patient with one another.
Which do you think is easier: 1) being patient for God to work in the middle of difficult circumstances, or 2) being patient for God to work in the lives of the people around you?
Becoming family in Christ together
As I’ve mentioned several times on this blog, I believe that the authors of Scripture used familial language when speaking to and about other Christians for one important reason: they recognized that they were truly family with other believers.
This was not simply the use of familial language for the purpose of rhetoric or persuasion. Instead, they recognized that they were all in a new relationship with God as their father, which automatically placed them in new relationships with one another. Since God was the father of all of them, then they were all truly brothers and sisters.
All of us have, from time to time, found it difficult to live as family with other believers. All of us – regardless of what “type” of church you are part of, or how you meet together, or the type of leadership involved, or what kind of organization and structure exists in the church.
Thus, we can all use help in learning to live as family with one another. Obviously, the work of the Holy Spirit in each of our lives is necessary for us to grow in our relationships with God and with one another. So, the Spirit’s role in becoming family is extremely important.
There are also some very practical steps that we can take to provide opportunities to share our lives with other people and, therefore, to start living as family.
What advise would you give to someone who told you that they wanted to learn to live as family with other believers?
When the church becomes family, everything changes
There are many ways that Christians interact with one another. They relate as acquaintances. Sometimes, they interact as employees and employers. They look at one another a volunteers or as people who share membership in an organization.
But, I think something changes (drastically) when we become family. I’m not talking about tacking the titles “brother” or “sister” onto someone’s name. I’m talking about truly being family, actually being and living as brothers and sisters of one another, with God as our father.
The way that we talk to each other changes. The way that we think about and care for one another changes. What we expect of each other (and ourselves) changes.
When we become family, everything about our life together will change. Of course, when we become family, we will actually have life together.
The problem is, apart from being and living as family, the scriptural instructions and descriptions concerning our life together (i.e., “love one another,” “serve one another,” “forgive one another,” “teach one another”) are always misconstrued. These instructions and descriptions only make sense within familial relationships.
Of course, in Christ, we are family. The question now is, will we recognize and live out our familial relationships with one another?