Letting go… to find real fellowship in Christ
Jim at “Crossroad Junction” has written a very good post called “Finding Ekklesia.” He touches on a subject that I’ve written about a few times as well.
I often get emails or phone calls or Twitter/Facebook messages asking something like this, “How do I find authentic fellowship?” Well, that’s what Jim’s post is all about.
And, before jumping ahead too much, don’t miss this statement at the beginning of his post:
As I’ve thought about this, it’s been hard for me to know how to respond. The last thing anyone needs is another “program”, “method” or “three easy steps” to find something that God designed to be authentically birthed, and sustained, organically.
Like Jim said, fellowship is something that we are designed for by God and empowered for by the Holy Spirit. So, if fellowship is natural for the follower of Jesus Christ, then why is it still so hard to find?
Jim touches on this later in his post:
Trust me. It really isn’t that hard. I have helped spark real fellowship time and again in different communities based on just that simple approach.
If that means letting go of the hurts that have defined you, then forgive and begin pursuing health.
If it means letting go of the sensibilities that have limited you, then let the washing of your mind through the power of His word begin to transform you.
If it means getting out of your lifeless funk, then maybe it’s time to get off your knees and start doing the things that bring you joy in the Lord – even if it is not “spiritual” – and then start expressing His resulting joy to others, because joy is life, and life is contagious.
(There’s much, much more in Jim’s post, so don’t stop reading with my excerpts.)
So, why is fellowship so hard for us? Because we don’t want to “let go”…
Guest Blogger: What God is doing among the body in our area
I’ve invited people to write “guest blog posts” for this blog. There are several reasons for this: 1) To offer different perspectives. 2) To generate even more discussion and conversation between blogs. 3) To introduce other bloggers to my readers.
(If you are interested in writing a guest blog post, please contact me at aknox[at]sebts[dot]com.)
Today’s post was written by Dan House. You can connect with Dan via his blog or Twitter (@dan_house73).
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What God is doing among the body in our area
I desire to continually stay open to finding and meeting brothers in Christ as the Spirit leads. I feel directed to tell you about what Christ has been doing here in Concord NC. There are 3 loosely associated gatherings here in Concord. One meets in the home my family and I live in and another meets about 2 miles away and another about 10 miles away. They all are gatherings that take place in homes.
I can only give you a snap shot of what I have been told and experienced along this path that Christ has us on. I will go back to 13 years ago when a couple of brothers from a large church in the area began asking questions about what they saw in the New Testament about Church. They eventually were asked to stop asking questions and to fall in line and get with the program or leave. Division was not the heart of these brothers so they changed there behavior and tried to bring unity. They quit asking questions and simply fell in line, but it seemed that was not good enough and they were eventually asked to leave.
They began meeting together asking questions and digging for truth. People were added and the group that was assembling faced many issues. The Holy Spirit did much. As you must already know body life is messy, but rewarding. I came in contact with a brother from this body’s assembly at a homeschool soccer game. The church that my family and I attended was ending. When the church added a permanent pastor it made a turn toward the end. I stayed till the church shut down.
This church’s planting and ending, caused me to have many questions. I began reading and digging for truth for the first time in my life. I began reading the bible, books by Watchman Nee, Frank Viola, and T. Austin Sparks. I began reading many blogs as well. I also began meeting with my new found friend and his friends for breakfast. When it became apparent that God was establishing another gathering we began meeting together. My new found brothers began to encourage us to keep pursuing.
The body here in Concord is not without a head pastor; our Head is Christ! We are not Fatherless, we have God as our father, but we have not seen fathers among us. We are looking for fathers in the faith. I am not saying that there are not fathers in the faith here in the area; there may be but, we have not made contact yet.
Well, I guess this is all I am able to write right now! I pray that you see my heart and not my inability to express my heart with words on page.
Replay: Why is one covenant (the new covenant) not enough?
Two years ago, I wrote a post called “What is one covenant not enough?” In Christ, we are all already part of the new covenant. Because of that covenant we are all now children of God and, therefore, brothers and sisters with one another. That covenant alone covers how we should interact with and treat one another. So, why do so many feel that we still need more covenants, i.e. a church covenant?
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Why is one covenant not enough?
According to Jesus, all of those who belong to God are now covenanted with God. For example, Jesus said that his blood represents this new covenant:
And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.” (Matthew 26:27-28 ESV)
In the same way, Paul recognized that he currently served people who were under a new covenant with God:
Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life. (2 Corinthians 3:5-6 ESV)
Finally, the author of the book of Hebrews explains how Jesus (as our high priest) is a better mediator of this new covenant:
This makes Jesus the guarantor of a better covenant. (Hebrews 7:22 ESV)
So, all of those who are in Christ – who have been saved by the blood of Jesus Christ – are covenanted together with God… not based on their (our) ability to keep a covenant, but based on God’s promises (for example, see Hebrews 10:23).
We are in a covenant with God, and are therefore covenanted together with one another. Our covenant with God includes new familial relationships with others who are covenanted with God. Just as God is our father, his children (and all of his children) are our brothers and sisters. Our familial responsibilities toward one another are included in our relationship with God.
Thus, I cannot choose how I should treat someone who is in Christ. That relationship and those responsibilities are already ours because of our joint relationship with God.
So, the question that I’ve been struggling and wrestling with is this: If we are already covenanted with God and if we are already brothers and sisters with one another, then why do we need a separate “church covenant”?
A “church covenant” can only do two things: 1) It can remind of us our relationships and responsibilities which already exist, whether we have a covenant or not. And 2) it can specify with whom we share those relationships and responsibilities.
If we are relying on a “church covenant” for reason #1 above, then the “church covenant” is nothing more than a reminder of the new covenant in Christ. We are already covenanted with God through Christ, and therefore covenanted with all other people who are part of the same covenant. Thus, this is really not a “church covenant” but the new covenant.
The problem with #2 above is that our relationships and responsibilities extend to all brothers and sisters in Christ that God brings into our lives. If we use a “church covenant” to include some believers and exclude others, then we are dividing the body of Christ and making distinctions that only God can make. We are trying to choose who to love and who to serve. (Of course, this makes life much easier, but it doesn’t make it a life that lived according to the gospel.)
So, why do we need a “church covenant”? Why is one covenant (the new covenant in Christ) not enough?
Ephesians, here we come?
When we gather together with other brothers and sisters in Christ on Sunday mornings, we study through a book of Scripture, or occasionally through a topic. Right now, we studying through 1 Samuel together. Usually, one person agrees to facilitate our discussion, while we all take part in working through the passage (usually a chapter or more at a time).
I love this kind of study with people who love God and love each other and seek to understand Scripture together. I’ve learned so much by studying Scripture with my brothers and sisters in Christ – both on Sundays and at other times, as the discussions on Sundays often carry over to other times when we get together at our homes, in coffee shops, even running trails around the lake.
So, like I said, we’re currently working through 1 Samuel, and David just spared Saul for the second time, which means that we’re near the end of Saul and the end of the book. We started talking about what book to study next. Almost everyone agreed that they would like to return to the New Testament for a while.
And, then I heard it – like music to my ears. Someone said, “What about Ephesians?” And, guess what, I didn’t even have to bribe her! Because, Ephesians is one of my favorite New Testament books! (It’s definitely in the top 27, anyway.)
But, seriously, I love Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus, and, yes, I know all the theories about it being a circular letter and not specifically addressed to the Ephesians in a couple of older manuscripts. Still, I love the letter.
I love the structure and the flow and the focus and just about everything about it.
In fact, as I think about it, I haven’t studied Ephesians in a few years. Not too long ago, I was studying Ephesians with different groups of Christians on and off for a couple of years. It became a joke with some of my friends. “Alan, when are you going to start a study of Ephesians again?” wink wink nudge nudge
So, as I begin to think about Ephesians again, I thought I would throw this out to you. What do you like about Ephesians? Do you have a favorite passage? A favorite topic in the book? What do you wish you understood better? What do you struggle with the most in the book?
Replay: The Interconnected Church
Five and a half years ago (in January 2007), I published a post called “The Interconnected Church.” In the post, I used blog connections as a metaphor for the relational connectivity of the church in the New Testament. Today, unfortunately, the connections are more organizational, which reduces the unity and fellowship among brothers and sisters in Christ. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this form of relational connectivity among the church.
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The Interconnected Church
There is a list of blogs that I frequent on the right side of this web page. If I go to most of those blogs, they will also include a list of blogs that the author visits regularly. If you navigate through those links, you will find other lists of blogs. And the cycle continues indefinitely… well, not indefinitely, but for many, many links.
There are a few people who frequent my blog. They interact with me through comments. I occasionally visit other blogs and interact with them through comments.
Could it be that this is a metaphor for the church in the New Testament?
Consider a believer in the New Testament. Let’s call him Joe. Joe knows several other believers. He interacts with them through normal relationships: family relationships, neighborhood relationships, work relationships, civic relationships, etc. Since these people are believers, they also gather regularly. Now, they may not all gather together at the same time. Perhaps some gather regularly at Joe’s house. Others gather regularly at Sally’s house. Joe occasionally meets with those at Sally’s house because he knows most of the people there. Also gathering at Sally’s house is the Smith family. They do not gather with the people at Joe’s house regularly, because the Smith family does not know them well. However, since they love Joe, and want to interact with him more, they will meet at his house on occasion. Meanwhile, once in a while, Joe will meet with another group with the Smith family. In this way, the interconnectivity is strengthened and grows.
In this scenario, there is interconnectivity among the church based on relationships. There is the church in Joe’s house, and the church in Sally’s house, and a few other churches; but they all recognize that they are the church in their city – because of the interconnectivity of relationships. They also recognize that they are somehow connected to groups outside their city, also through the interconnectivity of relationships.
If this is a valid view of the church in the New Testament, then could we be missing something today? Usually, when we talk about churches being connected to one another, we speak in terms of leadership networks, associations, etc. In other words, those in leadership from one church are connected to those in leadership from another church. This connection is not based on natural relationships, but on associations intentionally created to make connections. Meanwhile, many people in each church (specifically, those not in leadership) may find that they have very little connections with those outside their group, even with other churches with whom their leaders “associate”. Why? Because instead of being interconnected, the churches consider themselves mutually exclusive.
Are there any scriptural indications that an interconnected view of the church is valid, or that this view is not valid? What are some problems that might be caused by taking this view of the church?
The Messy Reality of Fellowship
Once again, I’ve run across another blog post this week in which the author is writing on the same topic as me, i.e., fellowship. Jim at “Crossroad Junction” has written a very thought-provoking post called “Glorious, Messy Reality.”
Like Jim writes in his post, it can be messy to find real fellowship in Christ, that is, to truly share your lives with one another as you share your lives with Christ. It really does take laying down “their lives, their hurts, their theories, and their sensibilities to find real fellowship.”
So far, the comments have been very good also. I especially appreciate the fact that Jim said (in a comment reply) that he does not want to try to express a “how to” of finding fellowship. Fellowship is not something that can be accomplished in a few steps or through a program.
Fellowship is about sharing our lives together in Christ. That will look different for different people in different situation. But, one thing is common: Our lives are messy… so our fellowship will be messy. But, if we are living in the grace and love of God, then we will accept one another in our messy lives and watch with wonder and amazement at what God does through those messy lives.
Of course, if we’re not willing to be part of another person’s mess… if we’re not willing to set aside our own interests, our own plans, our own ideals, our own agendas… then we may have nice, neat lives (as far as we see it), but we won’t have fellowship.
So you want to share your life with others in Christ… but can’t find that kind of fellowship?
If you’ve been following my posts this week, you know that I’ve been writing about fellowship as sharing your life with others as you share your lives with Christ together. But, what do you do when you desire to share your life with others, but you can’t find that kind of fellowship?
Like I’ve said before, sometimes we go through times in our life without face-to-face interaction with other believers. But, God created us for a relationship with him and for relationships with one another in him. We should expect to find that God brings people into our lives.
However, sometimes when God brings people into our lives, they do not know how to share their lives with other people. And, it could be, that we do not know how to share our lives with others, even if we know that we need it.
So, it can help to intentionally seek times with others people – times that foster relationships, conversation, and growth. There are many different opportunities for this kind of relationship. I shared a few of those occasions when God has brought people into my life in my post “You found fellowship in Christ where and when?”
Here are some suggestions if you think God is bringing someone into your life for this kind of fellowship, but one or both of you are struggling with sharing your life:
1) Invite the person (people) to your home (or accept an invitation to their home) for dinner, coffee, dessert, lunch, hors d’oeuvres, bbq, etc. Sharing your home with others is one of the best ways to begin sharing your lives together. However, recognize that in today’s culture people rarely stay home, and being in someone else’s home is strange to some people.
2) Invite the person/people (or accept an invitation from them) to a restaurant, bar, coffee house, ice cream shop, etc. While this environment may not be as intimate as a home, these are the normal ways to begin connecting with people today. As you get to know one another better, invitations to one another’s home will be more natural.
3) Share your family life with one another. Attend their children’s activities and invite them to join you at your children’s activities. Sure, you may not particular like tee ball or dance recitals, but you do love the people, right? And, don’t forget about birthday parties, anniversaries, graduations, etc. Share these celebrations with others.
4) Serve together. I can’t stress this one enough. Do you know someone who needs their grass cut or leaves raked? Then invite someone to join you as you serve that person together. Do you know someone who needs groceries? Invite someone to go to the grocery store with you and to deliver the groceries together.
These are just a few suggestions. Each of them can help you share your life with people that God bring you into contact with – especially when you or they or both struggle with fellowship.
When you get together, be yourself and let them be themselves. Listen. Ask questions. Find connections. You’ll be surprised what God will do when you begin to think about “one another” more than just yourself. Yes, it’s costly. But, it’s worth it.
You found fellowship in Christ where and when?
* In my living room and dining room.
* Driving home from a movie theater.
* Making s’mores around a campfire.
* During a high school soccer match.
* At a high school graduation party.
* Walking through my neighborhood on Halloween.
* Sitting with someone at a food pantry.
* At a funeral home.
* Running along trails near a local lake.
* At a “welcome home” party.
* Fixing a meal together in a friend’s kitchen.
* Raking leaves.
* Over a cup of coffee after a business meeting.
* At a little league football game.
* On an airplane and in an airport.
* Running along city streets.
* Painting walls.
* Playing cards with teenagers.
* In an ICU waiting room.
* At a birthday party.
* Hanging vinyl siding.
* Under an awning waiting for a thunderstorm to pass.
* Riding in the back of a truck.
* Fishing.
When church means being together
Josh at “In Search of the City” has written a great post called “Sometimes just being together is enough.” His post goes along well with my posts this week focusing on fellowship as “sharing life together as we share Christ together.”
He begins his post by explaining how he “stumbled upon the daily experience of the Body of Christ-that inexplicable reality of brothers and sisters living together, working together, enjoying Christ together.” Once this kind of fellowship becomes part of a person’s life, it’s easy to understand how those early followers of Jesus shared their food together “day by day.”
Mostly, Josh shares and responds to a message that he received from a brother in Christ after they spent time together. Here is part of that message:
I was truly refreshed by being with the saints of God and those who feel very much like family to me. I was left with much reflection that night and the following day. Though we didn’t necessarily speak much in the way of doctine or revelation, I find that I was strengthened and refreshed through our casual talk and fellowship. Essentially, I am the better spiritually because we were able to get together. What a wonderful thing it would be if we could experience such communion regularly, be it with one another, or other brothers and sisters.
Later, Josh concludes with this:
[S]ometimes (probably more often than not), just being together with other saints is enough to bring our hearts into touch with spiritual reality.
May God haste the day when this is the kind of thing that comes to a person’s mind when they hear the word “church” and not all that other stuff we so commonly associate with it.
Yes! Exactly! “I am the better spiritually because we were able to get together.” This is what is means to share our lives with one another as we also share our lives with Christ.
No fellowship? Look in unexpected places, at unexpected times, among unexpected people
I’ve been part of more organized groups of believers and less organized groups of believers. I’ve been part of churches that meet in dedicated buildings, and I’ve been part of churches that do not meet in a dedicated building. I’ve been part of churches who mostly lived in rural areas, suburban areas, and urban areas. I’ve been part of churches that were organized with hierarchical leadership, and I’ve been part of churches without hierarchical leadership.
Among all of those different ways and locations that Jesus’ followers meet and organize, I’ve found one thing in common: some easily find fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ, while others do not easily find fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. And, to be honest, the amount of organization, the type of leadership, the way of gathering together, the location of the group… none of those attributes (or other attributes) affect the fact that some easily fellowship with others and some do not.
I’ve also talked with many of these people who struggle finding fellowship with their brothers and sisters in Christ. I’ve found them to be sincere followers of Jesus Christ who desire fellowship with others. Yes, sometimes there have been struggles in the past, but that happens with those who find fellowship also. Yes, there are occasionally issues of sin that the person is struggling with, but this happens with those who find fellowship also.
So, why can some people find fellowship and others can’t? Well, I’ve found there are many different reasons. Often, the people are simply going through a season, and when God brings them out of it, he also fills their life with other brothers and sisters in Christ. But, often, I’ve also found that people just need a few pointers in reaching out to others.
You see, sometimes, people have been taught that fellowship is one particular thing in one particular place at one particular time. By the way, if you think I’m only referring to Sunday morning at 11:00 in a steeple building, I’m not. Some are also taught that fellowship only occurs in the living room of a house on Saturday afternoons.
So, I find myself encouraging people to look in unexpected places for fellowship. I encourage them to keep their eyes open at unexpected times to find fellowship. I keep encouraging people to look for fellowship among unexpected people.
Any time, at any place, among any people is a good time to begin or continue sharing your life with someone else.
Have you ever found that you were able to begin (or continue) sharing your life with unexpected people, in unexpected places, at unexpected times? Could you share part of that story?