You don’t always find the church where you expected
As I mentioned in my post “An Unexpected Journey with the Church,” I’m planning to get together with a group of believers in the Charlotte area in April to discuss how expectations often hinder us from finding fellowship in Christ with one another. Over the next few days, I’m planning to write about various expectations and how those expectations can affect our ability to find fellowship and share our lives with other brothers and sisters in Christ.
Over the last few years, I’ve found that location is a huge expectation when it comes to the church.
Okay, I know what you’re thinking. It’s time to harp on church buildings, right? Well, yes and no.
It’s true that many, many people expect to find “church” in a specially set aside building, and outside of that building they do not expect to find fellowship. Yes, this is a problem of expectations. But, this same problem of expectations based on location can affect Christians who do not gather in specially designated buildings.
What? That sounds crazy, at first. But, in reality, it’s all the same. You see, it IS possible to find fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ in “church buildings,” and it is possible to find fellowship with other believers in homes, and it is possible to find fellowship with other Christians in parks and beaches and pubs and any other location.
Expectations get in the way when we ONLY expect to find fellowship in a specific location (whatever that location), and expectations also get in the way when we NEVER expect to find fellowship in certain locations (whatever those locations).
Fellowship is sharing our life in Christ together, and it requires sharing all of our life to grow deeper and deeper in fellowship with one another and with Jesus Christ. When we begin to expect location to affect that ability to share our life, then those expectations (not the location) WILL begin to affect our ability to share our life and find fellowship.
We might expect to find fellowship in a certain location and be disappointed when relationships are not formed or deepened there. We might not expect to find fellowship in a certain location and miss the opportunities that God provides for us to get to know our brothers and sisters better and to serve them.
Are there some locations that are more conducive to building relationships and sharing our lives with one another? Yes, sure. But, we should never discount any location in which we are with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Any location can be a place in which we find and deepen fellowship.
Church buildings? Homes? Parks? Beaches? Office buildings? Schools? Anywhere.
Wherever we are, let’s keep our eyes and ears open, discerning what God is doing in our lives and in the lives of the people around us, and we will not be disappointed by expectations related to our location.
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Series on Expectations and Fellowship
An Unexpected Journey with the Church
Occasionally, I’m invited to spend some time with a group of believers in a different city. Until recently, primarily because I was having to work several parttime jobs, I had not been able to accept any of those invitation.
However, recently, I’ve been invited to gather with a group of brothers and sisters in the Charlotte, NC area. My friend, Leah, is organizing this get together, and she’s inviting several people to join these believers to encourage them in their walk with Jesus and their walk with each other.
I’m excited about this time together, because the focus is on expectations. I’ve talked with several people recently about expectations, and I think this get together will work well with what I’ve been learning lately.
In particular, this gathering is being put together for those who are seeking fellowship in Christ but are struggling to find it. While there are many different reasons that this could be the case (and I’ve written about them previously), I’ve found that expectations play a big role as well.
I’m not exactly sure what I will be doing in the time allotted for me during this get together. But I do know a few things:
1) My topic will be “What happens when you find the church, but it’s not what, where, or who you expected?”
2) It will be extremely relational and interactive.
3) I will probably learn as much as anyone else.
I’ve decided to write about expectations over the next few days and how these expectations might affect our ability to fellowship with others. I look forward to your input on this topic.
By the way, this get together will be in Mooresville, NC (NOT Morrisville… don’t get that confused like I did), on Saturday, April 27, 2012 from 9:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. There is a small fee to cover rent for a place to meet and food for the day. (All meals and snacks will be provided.)
If you’re interested in joining us that day, let me know, and I’ll send you more information. You can leave me a comment here or email me at alan [at] alanknox [dot] net.
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Series on Expectations and Fellowship
Scripture… As We Live It #245
This is the 245th passage in “Scripture… As We Live It.”
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope to give us ammunition with which to argue against those who disagree with us. (Acts 15:36 re-mix)
(Please read the first post for an explanation of this series.)
Replay: Walking together in a worthy manner
Five years ago, while studying Ephesians, I wrote a post called “Walking together in a worthy manner.” (Interestingly, we just finished studying and discussing Ephesians together when we gather on Sunday morning.) In this post, I meditate on what it means to “walk in a worthy manner” when everything is not going perfectly among a community in Christ. What if there is relational friction or disagreements? What would it look like then to “walk together in a worthy manner”?
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Walking together in a worthy manner
In Ephesians chapter 4, Paul begins to “flesh out” the implications of the previous three chapters of the letter. He begins with these words:
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV)
I’ve been meditating on these verses lately. I realize that Paul is calling us to live a certain way together – remember, this was written to the church, not the individual. But, I’ve also started thinking about the assumptions behind this statement.
Why would Paul remind the church to be humble? Why would he encourage them toward gentleness and patience? Why would the church need to bear with each other in love? Why would they need to maintain unity?
The church is composed of people – yes, the people of God, but we are all still fallen people. In order for the church to walk in a worthy manner, we must recognize that those around us are not perfect. What should we expect? Pride… harshness… impatience… apathy… division. Paul is painting a picture of a church that is composed of real people with real problems. But, Paul also recognizes that there is a solution.
The Ephesians no longer have to respond to pride with pride; they can now respond with humility. They no longer have to respond to harshness in like manner; instead, they can be gentle. When divisions occur, the Ephesians are now able to maintain unity. Why? Because, even though they are human with human failings, they are indwelled by the Spirit. This new people will continue to deal with sin in their lives and in the lives of others, but they can now respond in a completely new way: with the grace, kindness, love, patience, and unity of God.
We who find ourselves in the church should recognize that we will struggle in our relationships with other people. If we were not going to struggle, then there would be no need for Paul’s statement. However, like the Ephesians, we no longer have to respond like the “old man”. We can now respond as the “new man”.
So, as you walk together with those believers that God has placed around you… and as those around you stumble and cause friction… walk in a worthy manner.
Do you really care about people?
Do you really care about people? You remember when Jesus said something about loving others (and then Paul, Peter, James, John, and others picked up on that theme in their writings)? Well, it seems kinda obvious, but you can’t love others if you don’t care about them.
A few days ago, Randy at “Bible Study Geek” (his subtitle ‘Nerd Groks Word’ always makes me smile) published a post called “People.” Although his post is about relationship problems, it really comes down to caring about people.
He wrote (in part):
You get close enough to someone and eventually you will disappoint him and he will disappoint you. The disappointment can be handled in several ways, but it will always be there and it will never go away. It will affect your relationship.
I have disappointed my wife so often that I’m embarrassed to still be alive. She–a woman of great grace–has forgiven me and she loves me with a hunka burning love. But in certain situations, she doesn’t quite trust me because I have proven that I am not totally trustworthy. Even if my record is good for the last several years, there is a certain level of distrust remaining. That’s my fault, not hers.
That’s just one example.
I have a long string of victims in my wake. Like a Palm Sunday tornado, I’ve left strong trees toppled along my path of destruction. I wish I could stand those trees back up, but I don’t know how.
Like Randy, we all have “left strong treest toppled along [our] path of destruction.” It’s true… all of us. And, of course, we’ve all been hurt as well. For some, the hurt goes deeper than others, but everyone has been hurt by someone else.
And, like I said, the hurt often (if not always) begins because we really don’t care about other people – or, at least, we care about them less than we care about ourselves.
Around the same time that I was thinking about this, a friend of mine left the following on Facebook:
About two weeks ago I determined to do the following: Be more present, interested, and attentive to others – and – to look at people as having a sign hung around their neck that says: Please listen to me and value me. I am already seeing this bear fruit in my life and believe me it does not just benefit the people with whom I interact with—it has benefitted me more than you can imagine. Can you think of the benefits that would come from interacting in such a way with people you come in contact with? How does it benefit others… how would it benefit you?
Do you see what he’s doing? He’s reminding himself that others are important. If we remember that other people are important, then we’ll begin to care about them.
Do you listen to people? Do you value them? How do you show it?
I think these are good questions to ask ourselves. But, for now, I’ll close with the questions that my friend asked on Facebook:
If you started looking at people as having a sign around their neck that says, “Please listen to me and value me,” what benefits would come from interacting with people in that way? How would it benefit other people? How would it benefit you?
Hurdling toward discipleship… but don’t trip over that big hurdle
Joe at “More Than Cake” has written a very good post called “8 Obstacles to Making Disciples.” In the post, he lists some hurdles that we have placed between us and our ability to help other people follow Jesus Christ (i.e., disciple people or make disciples). (By the way, Joe says that this list comes from a book by Greg Ogden. You can a link to the book on Joe’s post.)
For the most part, I think the list is a good representation of what we often find among the church these days, and I agree that these are definitely obstacles to making disciples.
Here are the eight obstacles (with a little more info in Joe’s post):
First, the gap between those claiming to be disciples and those living as disciples exists because in many churches, the pastor/elder has been diverted from their ministry calling.
Second, church programs have replaced relationship.
Third, much of Christian life has been reduced to seeking after the immediate and material benefits over living out the lifestyle of a disciple.
Fourth, there is a gap between word and deed because discipleship has been presented as a “next step,” rather then as the natural result for every follower of Jesus.
Fifth, leaders have been unwilling to call people to discipleship because they are too concerned that some will “fall away,” which is code for “attendance will drop.”
Sixth, far too many Christians have an inadequate view of church and see it only as an event or a place rather than a vibrant community.
Seventh, Christian leaders have not provided a clearly defined biblical path to maturity and left to their own devices and definitions, God’s people have exhibited a manifest failure to grow.
Finally, the last obstacle to bridging the discipleship-gap is the lack of personal mentoring.
Like I said, I agree that these are obstacles to helping others follow Jesus that we often find among the church today.
But, reading through the list, I think I see a ninth obstacle that’s not spelled out, but is assumed in the list: an over-reliance on leaders among the church. In those eight obstacles, “leaders” are specifically mentioned in three of them. And, since “programs” are typically the sphere of leaders, #2 above would bring the count to 4 obstacles about leaders.
In fact, I think that an over-reliance on leaders (or actually a reliance on ANYONE else) to make disciples is the biggest obstacle toward disicpleship. And, it could be the most difficult obstacle to overcome.
Why is it the most difficult? Because this kind of reliance on leadership reaches into every aspect of a person’s life. Even if a person’s thinking and understanding changes in regards to leaders among the church, there is still much that must change.
But, I can tell you from experience, change of thinking and change of life can and does happen.
If you’re wondering why so little discipleship is taking place, and you immediately begin to think about church leaders, then perhaps this kind of over-reliance is an obstacle for you too.
Tune in at 10:00 for Fellowship
Christopher from “Life With Da Man CD” has hit the nail on the head with his post “The Question of Fellowship.” (By the way, Christopher, being from the other side of the pond, you may not understand good English. Here, “hitting the nail on the head” means you wrote something just right.) 🙂
As you might guess from his title, Christopher’s post is about fellowship… you know, that word in the Bible that, when realized, makes our life full of people and their messes and disorder and love and laughter and tears and joy and pain and blood and sweat and tears. It’s the stuff we have with one another and with Jesus Christ when we truly get to know each other (including Jesus). (1 John 1:3)
So, Christopher says that when we get together with our brothers and sisters in Christ, fellowship is very important. He writes:
The experience of sitting in a seat (standing at the appropriate bits) as part of row of other people sitting in seats (standing at the appropriate bits), and looking up at a group leading singing and then some dude or dudette talking at me, before being dismissed seems to miss this purpose pretty significantly.
Am I edified by seeing the bulk of the work of it done by a group of others? Well, actually, yes. Yes I am. The songs can be moving and uplifting. What the dudette has to say can be stirring and stimulate the passion for following Jesus Christ. I am edified. But … and here’s the thing … I can get all that at home. I can. I do, often.
The aspect then of MUTUAL edification and fellowship requires a lot more engagement and interaction than a lot of experiences provide. And just because it’s the way it has always been done, and just because attendance is the measure of spiritual commitment in some places, that does not mean we’re living any better lives as a community through these experiences.
As you think about Christopher’s words above, let me add this. Most of us would agree that we can’t just listen to the radio and get what we need to grow and mature in Christ (even if the radio preacher is right and good and godly). Similarly, most of us would also agree that we can’t just watch a great preacher on TV and get what we need to grow and mature in Christ (even if all that stuff I said about the radio preacher). Again, most of us would agree that we can’t get what we need to grow and mature in Christ by listening to a great podcast on the internet (even if all that other stuff).
So, why do so many feel that they can get what they need by listening to someone else in person? It doesn’t work that way. That’s not the way that God designed us to work, and it’s not the way that God works in and through us.
Like Paul wrote in Ephesians 4:16, if we want to grow in unity and faith and maturity, then it takes the whole body (the WHOLE body) working together. Period.
That’s not something you can “phone in” or “tune in” or “sit and watch.” And, it’s not something that you can get someone else to do for you.
We still want to HAVE a priesthood and not BE a priesthood
My friend Eric at “A Pilgrim’s Progress” just finished a great series on the new covenant priesthood under Jesus Christ. He wrote four posts describing this priesthood: “Priesthood and Responsibility,” “Priesthood and Self-Sacrifice/Service,” “Priesthood and Reciprocity,” and “Priesthood and Intimacy.”
Eric began this series with this statement: “All Christians are an equal part of the priesthood of all believers. This is both a great privilege and a great responsibility.” In that statement, he linked to 1 Peter 2:5-9 in which Peter describes the church like this: “You yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices sacceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” (1 Peter 2:5 ESV)
As Eric works through the various privileges and responsibilities related to the priesthood of Jesus Christ, something becomes fairly obviously. In many ways, we still want to HAVE a priesthood and not BE a priesthood.
Every religion on earth has a priesthood of some kind – a special class of people who are somehow closer to the divine, are endowed with special privileges, and are given special responsibilities.
Interestingly, in the New Testament, the role, privileges, and responsibilities of the priesthood are given to everyone who follows Jesus Christ – that is, to all Christians. There is no longer a special class of people who are somehow closer to the divine, are endowed with special privileges, and are given special responsibilities.
But, we still want there to be a priest class. We want to give that role, those privileges, and those responsibilities to someone else. We want them to do the priest stuff for us while we live as normal non-priestly people.
Unfortunately – or fortunately, depending on how you look at it – you cannot give away (or sell) your priestly role, privileges, and responsibilities in God’s family. And, by the way, no one can take them away from you either.
So, read through Eric’s posts, and tell him what you think.
Then, I’m hoping you’d be willing to answer a few questions for me:
1) Why do you think people want to give up their role, privileges, and responsibilities as a priest?
2) Why do you think people want to take the role, privileges, and responsibilities of a priest from others?
3) What practical steps would you recommend to someone who wants to start living as a priest?
Reading through and then studying Romans together
Starting next Sunday, during our regularly scheduled weekly gathering, we’re going to begin studying Paul’s letter to the Romans together. That morning, we’ll read through the whole book. Yes, all 16 chapters. It will probably take just over an hour to read through the whole letter.
We won’t talk about Romans next week. That will be a good chance for us to hear the entire book in one sitting, listening for the themes and connections and divisions in Paul’s letter to the believers in Rome. I think this is a very important (and often overlooked) part of studying a book together.
We’ve done this several times before. The last time was a few weeks ago (last fall) when we started studying Ephesians together. Of course, Ephesians is quite a bit shorter.
As far as I can remember, this will be the first time that we’ve read a longer book (like Romans) on a Sunday morning. Usually, when we read through a longer book, we’ll get together at a different time, like a Saturday night. We’ve read through all four Gospels and a couple of other books like that.
Then, the following week – about two weeks from now – we’ll begin studying Romans together, always trying to keep the entire letter in mind while we discuss different parts.
While we’ve studied many books of the New Testament and Old Testament together, we’ve never studied Romans. But, a few weeks ago one of our sisters in Christ asked if we could study Romans, and everyone agreed. I think it will be a great study for all of us!
The hard part, of course, will be to try to listen to what Paul actually wrote instead of just listening to what we’ve already been told that it means. Now, some of what we’ve been told that it means is true and good. But, we can’t count on that… no one should ever count on that.
Instead, we will read and study and discuss carefully, trying to understand this important letter and what God wants us to know and do in response.
By the way, I assume that we’ll get some thing wrong… that we’ll disagree about some things… that we’ll be confused at parts. But, that’s ok. We can trust God to help us grow in maturity in spite of this… and we know that he will use this letter and the words of our brothers and sisters in Christ to accomplish this.
So, we’ll read and study and discuss, and we’ll listen to one another, and we’ll seek to discern what God wants to teach us and how he wants to change us through this time together.
Have you ever read through Romans (or any other book in Scripture) at one time with a group of brothers and sisters in Christ? What did you think about that experience?
Scripture… As We Live It #244
This is the 244th passage in “Scripture… As We Live It.”
And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are go to new places to proclaim the gospel because, as you know, we are apostles and the work of apostles is only to preach the gospel in places where it has never been preached.” (Acts 15:36 re-mix)
(Please read the first post for an explanation of this series.)