the weblog of Alan Knox

Jesus Says… the April Fools Edition

Posted by on Apr 3, 2012 in blog links | 4 comments

For those of you who have followed this blog for a while (at least a week), you know that I love sarcasm. So, as you can imagine, April Fools Day is a high holy day for me – just a little sarcasm to kick things off.

Anyway, I love the jokes and the hoaxes and the fake Google announcements. Plus, April Fools Day is only two days after my birthday, so that makes it extra special.

This year, I saw several videos and articles and posts that made me chuckle. But, I really enjoyed a post by Jon at “Jon’s Journey” called “Fools Day Quotes From Jesus.” Here are few of Jon’s “Jesus quotes”:

“You should come visit my church this Sunday.”

“My church has the best worship band.”

“You should give 10% to your church.”

“You should serve in your church programs.”

“Make sure you pick a church that belongs to an evangelical denomination.”

Use the link above to jump over to Jon’s post and read the rest of the “quotes.”

Great job, Jon! But, next time, don’t give it away in the title. I think many people would love to think that Jesus said stuff like that…

So, what else did Jesus NOT say?

4 Comments

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  1. 4-3-2012

    Fun!

    “I am too busy right now, go see your pastor with that problem.”
    “Obey, those who I sent to rule over you.”
    ” I was just kidding when I said my sheep hear my voice, go read your bible.”
    “I gave you my bible didn’t I, so go read it and do what it says.”

  2. 4-3-2012

    “This is my body, broken for you, after you have silently prayed and looked solemn for a few moments you can eat a little piece of it.”

  3. 4-3-2012

    Tony and Dan,

    Thanks for playing along. 🙂

    -Alan

  4. 4-3-2012

    Thanks Alan, glad you get my warped sense of humor. I feared if I didn’t give it away in my title I would be misunderstood – which seems to come naturally for me. Dan and Tony LOL, I like your quotes, I’m sure they are legit, just give me a minute with my concordance. 🙂