Do you want to be a disciple?
A few months ago, God unexpectedly brought someone into my life who is a constant and consistent source of encouragement to me as I continue to study the church. Although he lives thousands of miles away from me, God has used the blog posts and comments of “Aussie John” to urge me forward in my understanding of the church and in living out what He is teaching me. Recently, Aussie John wrote a post called “Disciples Discipling“, which has caused me to once again think about the process that we call discipleship.
I think his post can be summed up in this statement:
It, therefore, must follow that being a discipler is about reproducing themselves, which reveals to us why it is more important to make a disciple maker than a disciple.
This may seem simple, and it may seem obvious, but it is greatly important for our understanding of making disciples. We seek to make disciples who also make disciples. In other words, disciple makers make other disciple makers.
This post inspired me to think about the disciple making process; and, in particular, the beginning of the disciple making process. The beginning of the disciple making process is often called evangelism. The purpose of evangelism is to present the good news of Jesus Christ through our words and our life to a person with the desire that God would convert the person and that person would then begin following Christ as a disciple.
Most of us would agree that evangelism is very important. In fact, I would argue that people who are obediently following Jesus Christ cannot stop themselves from speaking about their master. Many times, God uses the words and lives of believers to convince their friends, neighbors, coworkers, and other associates of the existence of God and the veracity of the good news of Jesus Christ. This type of evangelism often happens in the context of our day-to-day relationships with other people. We also know that God often provides spontaneous opportunities to present the good news of Jesus Christ with strangers, knowing that we may never see the person again.
But, what is the purpose of expressing the good news of Jesus Christ with someone? If our purpose is conversion, then our responsibility to that individual ends when that person either accepts or rejects our claims about Christ – and more important, when they either accept or reject the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. However, if the purpose of expressing the good news of Jesus Christ is making a disciple, then our responsibility is just beginning when that individual either accepts or rejects Christ.
In fact, as we approach someone – either an acquaintance or a stranger – with the intentions of sharing the good news, we should also approach the person with the intention of making a disciple. Thus, we should understand that we are entering into much more than a five to fifteen minute presentation of the gospel. Instead, we are entering into a disciple making relationship with this individual. With the advent of modern communications methods, even evangelizing strangers includes the intention of a continuing relationship with the new disciple.
This is not what I was taught. I was taught a concept of evangelism that was based more on the exception (Phillip and the Ethiopian eunuch) than on the rule (every other instance of evangelism / discipleship in the New Testament). I was taught that my responsibility in evangelism ended in the presentation of the biblical truth claims about Jesus Christ – his life, death, burial, resurrection, and future return – and urging the person to trust Christ for salvation and new life. Whether the person accepted or rejected, my responsibility ended. If the person trusted Christ, it was then the responsibility of “the church” to disciple the individual. Thus, I was taught that it was my responsibility to make converts, while it was not necessarily my responsibility to make disciples.
The added responsibility – a long-term commitment to make a disciple vs. a short term commitment of presenting the good news – does not diminish the fact that this is our responsibility as a follower of Jesus Christ. This should not preclude us from approaching individuals with the desire to see them become disciples of Jesus Christ. However, recognizing this long-term commitment may help us to realize the importance of what we are attempting to do.
So, I agree completely with “Aussie John”. We need to be disciple makers who make disciple makers. Also, adding to his statement, I would say that we need to be evangelists who are disciple makers who make disciple makers.
Guest Blogger: Why I Said Church Hurts
A few days ago, someone left a very poignant anonymous comment on my blog. In response, I asked this person to email me. After reading her story, I’ve asked if I can share it here, and she has graciously allowed me to do that.
As you read this story, I hope you will listen carefully to what is being said. People are hurting all around us, and God has put us in their lives to help and encourage them. We are here to bring glory to God by caring for his people. Perhaps someone that you are acquainted with is hurting just like this sister.
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Why I Said Church Hurts
by Mrs. Anonymous
In a recent anonymous post, I summarized my family’s experiences with church by saying that ‘church hurts’. That’s a strong statement, and maybe one that needs explanation. So I will attempt to briefly describe some of the circumstances that have led up to my comments. My intent is not to unload a ‘laundry list’ of gripes with my church. My hope is that in reading our story, some may find comfort that they are not alone in their own pain, and also, that perhaps leaders in churches will be reminded that their true calling is to tenderly nurture the believers in their midst, not to build programs, structures, attendance, or budgets.
First of all, let me say that I dearly love Christ, and I love His children. I believe in His design for the church– individual, uniquely gifted members ministering to one another with the goal of seeing one another grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ. And I praise God for those few precious people He has brought into my life, who love Christ, and encourage me in the ‘fight of faith’. I can’t imagine life without their love. And so yes, I do have some interaction with the body of Christ that is very positive and loving and healing. But most of that occurs with friends who are outside of what we call our ‘church’.
In our church, there is a lot of ‘moving and shaking’ going on. Attendance is increasing. Additions are being built. New staff is being hired. Our image is one of ‘excellence’ (and image is very important). All this is exciting, and there is lots of enthusiasm for all that God is doing. But I look around each Sunday and wonder how many people are just pasting on a smile, hiding their hurts, believing they don’t really matter. Like my family does……
In our church, even though we have verbalized our financial situation more than once, there is no understanding of why my husband works so many Sundays and often misses church. Though the leaders are aware that he works upwards of eighty hours a week, at three different jobs, to meet the most basic needs of our family, their focus has not been on encouraging him, but rather on ‘reminding’ him of the importance of church attendance. It has been implied, subtly, and more overtly, that if we have financial problems, it must, at root, be ‘our fault’. I see the weariness in my husband, the disrespect he feels because he isn’t ‘white collar’, and I fear I see a wounding in my husband disguised as a growing indifference toward church.
Our oldest son is in his twenties, and since he moved out of our home a year ago, he hasn’t attended church. Nobody seemed to notice, even though for six years he was ‘faithful’, and even a leader in the youth program. Recently an elder called asking for his mailing address so he could be sent a letter ‘warning’ him that if he didn’t start attending church, he would be removed from the membership list. That letter will be the first attempt leadership has made to ‘reach out’ to him since he left. So, my son finds more caring and acceptance from his unbelieving friends than he does from the church where he was once held up as a ‘model teen’.
My sixteen year old daughter almost died last December. A very rare, life-threatening infection landed her in Intensive Care for over a week. The infection attacked all her organs. An athlete, she faced the possibility of having one or both feet amputated. Our church did respond with prayer, meals brought to us, and a visit from the pastor, for which I was, and remain, grateful. But once our daughter was home, she began processing what she had gone through: the reality of her own mortality, the fear that her weakened body would not return to its pre-illness state, and that she would have to let go of her athletic goals– her dreams. I shared her struggles with a couple leaders, one of which declared that this was probably God’s way of ‘shaking her tree’, and trying to get her attention, as though she had some sin issue that had brought on her illness. So my daughter and I spent a lot of long nights talking and crying together, as she came to terms with what she’d gone through. It was a faith-building time for her, and the church leaders missed their opportunity to be part of it. (By the way, she recovered fully, by God’s mercy, and went on to compete, athletically, at the state level.)
The latest wounds have been directed toward me. Because I gently cautioned against a controversial idea put forth by the women’s leadership board, I was labeled as ‘negative’ and told repeatedly, that I have a ‘heart issue’. I have been warned not to talk through, with my friends, any problems I have with the church, as this is ‘gossip’, even when it’s done in a genuine spirit of seeking clarity and balanced advice from trusted believers. The church leadership has proceeded with a concerted effort to marginalize and minimize my ‘influence’. Disparaging, suspicion-inducing comments about our family have been shared with others, including one of our best friends. If this weren’t all so hurtful, I could almost laugh at the Junior High-esque tactics of those who claim to be the leaders of God’s people. Maybe some day I will laugh. But I won’t laugh for the next family that ‘dares’ to not ‘support’ leadership, and suddenly finds themselves targeted.
So, I know, everyone has anecdotal evidence of failures in their church. We have all been hurt or disappointed at times. These are just a few of my stories. I can accept that imperfect people will behave imperfectly. We have had our share of minor church conflicts and issues that we have worked through, or chosen to simply forgive or ignore. In over two decades of being in Christ, we have only belonged to two churches, so we aren’t ‘quitters’. But what do you do when ‘going to church’ hurts more than staying away does? When faith in God’s acceptance, and nurturing, cherishing love for me is easier to maintain at home, than ‘at church’. What do I tell my kids? How do I help them avoid equating the failures of people with an ‘unloving’ God?
We are at a point of leaving the church we now attend. It’s sad. I love the people there. But the leadership seems to have put together a model for growth that doesn’t have room for ‘people like us’. I’m scared to look for a new assembly. I don’t want to get hurt again. And I fear that my fear is going to turn into a self-protective distancing of myself from the God-designed relationships He has in store for me. And by the strength that He supplies, I will resist that tendency. But fear of rejection is a powerful force in alienating people. I often wish we could be a wealthier, ‘stronger’ more ‘put together’ family. That seems to be what a lot of churches are looking for. Oddly different criteria than the weary, burdened, and heavy-laden folks Jesus called to Himself. But I also know that a lot of the struggles God has allowed in our lives have been used by Him to make us more compassionate, sympathetic, God-dependent people. We are in process. We are his workmanship. And praise Him, it’s a work He won’t abandon. He is growing my faith, even while I struggle with my hurts and disappointments. I know that God has not abandoned His church to His children’s foolish ideas of how to ‘manage’ or ‘improve’ or ‘grow’ it. I just struggle with the ‘how’ of living in a time and place where the ‘church’ seems to have moved so far of course. Which I guess, in part, is what Alan’s blog is all about. I am encouraged, strengthened, and provoked to Christlike love through Alan’s writings and the comments of others. Thanks for listening to mine.
Loneliness in church…
A couple of days ago, while reading my blog, someone searched for the phrase “loneliness in church” using the search field at the top of the page. When I first saw that, I was heartbroken.
After praying for the person who searched for this string and for the believers that this person meets with, I began to remember times when I was in a church meeting with many other people and yet felt lonely. Times of solitude (being alone) are important, but solitude is not the same as loneliness.
I can remember times of sitting on a pew or in a chair, surrounding by many people, and hoping that someone would ask, “How are you?” More importantly, I was hoping that when they asked, they would actually be concerned enough to listen to my answer. I can remember being completely turned off by “fellowship” that was defined as “shake as many hands as possible while the piano and organ plays the next verse”.
I have to admit, also, that I have been on the other side of this kind of relationship. There have been times when someone has cried out for help (even cried out silently), but I only shook their hand or gave them a hug. Sometimes, I recognized right away the cry for help or a listening ear. Other times, I was so busy getting to the next person that I failed to notice until it was pointed out to me.
It was this type of reaction – uncaring, too busy, pat-on-the-back, next please – that convinced me (for a time) that no one really believed what they preached and taught. And, now, I find myself walking this same road all too often.
Loneliness in church… think about it. A group of people, indwelled by the Spirit, surrendered to the will of God, obeying Him in everything, loving one another, considering others as more important than themselves, accepting others who are different, bearing with one another, giving to those who are in need, encouraging one another… and, yet, someone could meet together with this group and feel lonely.
Certainly this works both ways. Those of us who are hurting should feel free to admit our hurt and need to our brothers and sisters. Those of us who are not hurting should be prepared to serve our brothers and sisters who are hurting and in need.
But, what is it that keeps us from sincerely practicing the “one anothers” that we find in Scripture? Why do we recognize that God gave us one another for a reason, then fail to share our lives with one another? Why do we recognize hurting people, but decide not to get involved? Why do we recognize loneliness in our lives, but decide not tell others?
Lonely people are real. Hurting people are real. Grieving people are real. Needy people are real. Hungry people are real. They are meeting together with us, singing the same songs as us, listening to the same teaching as us. They are our brothers and sisters. They are lonely… are we lonely with them? They are hurting… are we hurting with them? They are grieving… are we grieving with them? They are needy… are we needy with them? They are hungry… are we hungry with them? Why not?
[UPDATE: After writing this blog post, an anonymous reader left a poignant comment on a previous post. I believe that comment is one of the most important (if not THE most important) things ever written on my blog. My question and challenge to you is this: 1) Do you know other believers well enough to know when they are hurting or lonely? 2) Do you respond when God shows you that another believer is hurting or lonely? 3) Do you frequently give (of your time, money, energy) even when there is nothing for you to gain in return?]
Serving in the strength that God provides…
After a busy week and a busy Saturday, we were able to spend a couple of hours at the home of some of our friends. As we ate, read Scripture, and prayed, we were renewed and refreshed by the Spirit.
One of our friends was praying for another family. This family is dealing with a loved one with cancer. Soon, the wife will be travelling to take care of him. As another friend was praying for them, he asked God to help them to serve in God’s strength and not in their own strength.
This simple prayer led to a wonderful discussion of relying completely on God and not trying to rely on ourselves and our own abilities. I admit that many times when I see something that should be done, I am tempted to jump in and do it, even though I know that God has not provided me with the opportunities nor the resources to do it. What happens then? I end up doing something in my own strength, getting tired and angry, and failing to obey God in what he wanted me to do in the first place. Why? Because I am attempting to serve God and others our of my own strength instead of the strength that God provides.
In 1 Peter 4:11, Peter says that those who serve should do so “as one who serves by the strength that God supplies” (ESV). This is difficult. This means that I must trust God. When I see something that is not being done, and God has not provided me with the opportunities nor the strength to do it, then I must trust God that he has provided someone else to take care of that need.
We had several other very uplifting and challenging discussions, both as a group and one-on-one with other believers. It is amazing how the Spirit uses other believers to stir us up to love and good works.
The illusion of being pious…
This week, my reading in The Message brought be to Colossians. I liked Chapter 2 so much that I stopped and re-read it. Then, I read it to my wife, Margaret. Then, I copied it in a reply to an email from a friend. So, I thought I would share part of it here as well:
Don’t tolerate people who try to run your life, ordering you to bow and scrape, insisting that you join their obsession with angels and that you seek out visions. They’re a lot of hot air, that’s all they are. They’re completely out of touch with the source of life, Christ, who puts us together in one piece, whose very breath and blood flow through us. He is the Head and we are the body. We can grow up healthy in God only as he nourishes us.
So, then, if with Christ you’ve put all that pretentious and infantile religion behind you, why do you let yourselves be bullied by it? “Don’t touch this! Don’t taste that! Don’t go near this!” Do you think things that are here today and gone tomorrow are worth that kind of attention? Such things sound impressive if said in a deep enough voice. They even give the illusion of being pious and humble and ascetic. But they’re just another way of showing off, making yourselves look important. (Colossians 2:18-23 The Message)
The grace of God is freeing, not binding. Anyone who tries to bind us with rules and regulations is not operating under grace.
Kuiper on Unity…
A few months ago, a friend gave me a copy of The Glorious Body of Christ by R.B. Kuiper (who died in 1966). I have not had the chance to read it yet, but I was able to skim it a few nights ago. I was pleasantly surprised by what Kuiper said about unity:
It can hardly be denied that ideally the church of Christ should be one in outward appearance as well as inner reality. In that respect it ought to resemble the apostolic church, which certainly was intended in the main as a pattern for the church of succeeding ages… In the measure in which the visible church fails to manifest that attribute [unity], outward appearance belies inner reality.
For that reason the notion, which has long been prevalent in orthodox circles, that denominationalism is perfectly proper insofar as it is occasioned by God-appointed natural factors, must be rejected. The fact that Christians speak different languages is a poor excuse for their dwelling apart in different denominations. As it is, there are denominations in which several languages are employed. It is difficult to see why a dozen or more could not be used in one communion. Again, if geographical distance ever was a valid reason for denominationalism, it can hardly be so regarded in this age of fast travel and almost instantaneous communication. It is not nearly as far from New York to Shanghai today as it was from Jerusalem to Rome in the days of the apostle Paul. And as for differences in racial traits, Christians do well to remember that in Christ there is neither Greek nor Jew, Barbarian nor Scythian, white man nor colored.
The ideal is clear. However, no less clear is the fact that the basic cause of division within the church of Christ, namely sin, is operating as powerfully today as it was in the past and that beyond all reasonable doubt it will continue to operate as powerfully in time to come…
Shall we then discard the ideal? God forbid! It is of the essence of Christianity to strive for the unattainable.
Kuiper says that sin is the basic cause of division within the church. As I’ve studied this previously (for example, see “Is unity important?“), I’ve found that Scripture only gives us a few reasons to separate from another follower of Christ: unrepentant sin (Matt 18:15-20; 1 Cor 5:1-5), disorderliness (2 Thess 3:6), refusal to work (2 Thess 3:7-10), false teaching (contrary to the Gospel, not contrary to YOU and your tradition) (2 Thess 3:14-15; 1 Tim 1:20; 2 John 10-11), and divisiveness (Rom 16:17-18; Titus 3:10-11). If we separate ourselves from other brothers and sisters in Christ for any other reasons, then we are guilty of divisiveness, which is sin.
Kuiper says that neither language, nor geographic distance, nor race are reasons for groups of believers to separate from one another. What about the more prevalent reasons today? What about differences in biblical interpretations? You know, those pet “doctrines” that are so important to us, but are interpreted differently by other believers. If these “doctrines” do not teach contrary to the gospel, then they are not reasons to separate from other believers. What about what is commonly called “worship style”? Again, this is not a reason to separate from other believers. What about leadership style? Nowhere in Scripture are we told to separate from other believers because we disagree with someone’s leadership style.
Can we, like Kuiper, admit that separating for these reasons admit to divisiveness, which is sin? I think that once we admit that the divisiveness that we see in the church today is sin, then we are making the first step toward unity. And, if we are honest and admit that we are partly responsible for this division, we are taking another step toward the unity that we have in Christ. And, if we then stop trying to be united by our own means, and rely completely on the grace of God, and live in unity even with those believers who are not just like us, we are again beginning to walk in unity. Can we truly begin to maintain unity as we are instructed? Can we humble ourselves before God, stop trying to prove ourselves right in everything, and accept other believers as Christ accepted us, and trust other believers to accept us (in spite of our problems and errors!)?
We are one in Christ. If we are not living as one, then are we living in Christ?
When "long distance" friends change…
In a previous post called “When friends move…“, I began to examine how believers can maintain relationships over long distances (i.e. when one or more friends move). Also, I hope to tie this back to implications for the church and fellowship between believers in general.
First, remember that we should not expect to maintain a “long distance” relationship if there was not real relationship to begin with. We can spend time with someone every day for years without a real relationship. A surface level acquaintance is not the same as a real relationship. But, if we have a real relationship with someone, if God has used us to impact their lives, and if God has used them to impact our lives, then we should expect the relationship to continue. In fact, just as Paul, James, John, and other New Testament authors were able to maintain “long distance” friendships using only first century communication methods, we should expect to be able to maintain “long distance” friendships even easier.
What about change? What happens when one person changes his or her views in a certain area, but the “long distance friend” does not? First, I would suggest that change should be expected, and both parties should expect change in their own lives and in the lives of their friends. I would suggest that if someone does not change, then there is a problem with their relationship with God. (Certainly, this does not mean that a person has to change their beliefs in a given area, but change in general should be expected.) As a person is sanctified by the Holy Spirit, that person’s life changes. When we have opportunity to get together with “long distance friends”, we should rejoice and relish the change that God has wrought in their lives. This change should be an opportunity of further exploring the greatness and wonder of God and how he works in our lives.
Problems occur, of course, when friends begin to look at changes as right or wrong without considering their relationships – without listening to their friends. If a friend believers something different, it does not mean that we must stop being their friends. It means, instead, that should listen carefully to what God may be saying to us through this friend, and at the same time, expecting God to teach our friends through our own life-change. (Unless, of course, there is no change in our life, which, as I said, may indicate a problem between ourselves and God.)
If we think through this, however, we can recognize that people are always changing. The difference between change in the lives of “long distance” friends and change in the life of friends who live near us is that we witness the change in the lives of friends who live near us as that change is taking place. For “near” friends, that change happens in small steps. We see each small step instead of the big change that actually happens over time. However, in the case of “long distance” friends, we may not witness the small changes, and so we see all change as “big” changes.
Talking to or meeting with a “long distance” friend who has changed should be an opportunity of joy and excitement of hearing what God has done in their lives, instead of an opportunity of anxiety because our friend has changed. Of course, this will require love and acceptance from both parties and directed toward both parties.
When friends move…
Next week, some friends of ours (Ed and Leah from “Our Payneful Memories“) will be moving across the country. In a seminary or university environment, this happens frequently. In fact, friends of ours now live in different places around the world. This upcoming move has prompted several of us to have conversations dealing with maintaining relationships and fellowship over long distances.
Now, some people deal with friendships with the old adage “out of sight, out of mind”. They may not speak that outright, or admit that this is their view, but by their life they demonstrate that friendships are not maintained over long distances.
For our family, this has not always been the case. We have several friendships that have been maintained in spite of one or both parties moving – sometimes after several moves.
What is the relationship between long distance friendships and the church? Well, apparently, Paul and other New Testament authors were able to maintain their relationships with believers who were several thousand miles away. And, these relationships were maintained using first century communication methods. In fact, it seems that Paul, Timothy, Titus, Peter, and other New Testament figures not only maintained friendships with people over long distances, but they also expected these relationships to continue to grow and mature in Christ. They expected to see one another again and to continue in fellowship with one another when they did see one another.
In several passages, Paul referenced his relationships with believers who were far away from him. Yet, he not only maintained these relationships, but he continued to treasure them. He recognized the impact that he had on the lives of “long distance” friends, and the impact that they had on his life. Apparently, for Paul, God could work through the lives of individuals even when they were not face to face. But, there was still something special for Paul (and John) in communicating and interacting with these believers face to face.
There is an assumption that must be considered. If friends move away, we should not expect relationship to continue if they only existed on a surface level. It is possible to be acquainted with someone over a long stretch of time, but develop no real friendship. If there is no relationship to begin with, then we should not expect this to continue when the “friends” move away. Perhaps, when we have difficulty maintaining relationships over long distances, this difficulty says more about our relationships than it does about the distance.
For Paul, Peter, James, and other New Testament authors, fellowship between believers continued even when those believers were separated by thousands of miles. These relationships continued in spite of the limitations of first century communication methods. Today, when believers share this same type of fellowship which is created by the Spirit, maintaining that relationships should be much easier. If not, the distance is not the culprit, but the relationships itself.
Who are your heroes?
Travis, at “He Must Increase“, just returned from Ecuador. In a post called “New Heroes“, he describes how the “leaders” of the churches there were functioning. This is what he says:
Jose, Geovanny, Marcos, Marlene, Pedro, Roberto, Fabiola, and Patricia. These are the names of some of my new heroes in the faith that I have met this past week in Ecuador. These men and women are everyday people…painters, taxi cab drivers, a mechanics, and house wives. They are all actively doing the things of Jesus. They have been a part of planting well over 100 churches, but they aren’t counting. They face constant danger from the world and criticism from the “traditional” church, yet they endure and press on focusing on the harvest. They live a lifestyle of proclaiming the gospel, yet they demonstrate the gospel with love. They disciple/teach new believers, yet they don’t lord over. They baptize. They equip. They get very little applause and praise. No one is writing dissertations on their ministries. They aren’t getting paid money for their Kingdom work. They are my new heroes in the faith. I was honored to sit at their feet for 8 days and learn. I pray that some of their life will rub off on me.
Did you catch that last sentence? “I pray that some of their life will rub off on me.” The mark of a leader is not found in the way that they exert authority. The mark of a leader is found the way that others desire to follow their example.
Could you follow the example of these believers? (HT: Guy Muse)
Our impotence or God’s power
Consider this passage from The Message:
Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said. That’s why it is said, “Abraham was declared fit before God by trusting God to set him right.” But it’s not just Abraham; it’s also us! The same thing gets said about us when we embrace and believe the One who brought Jesus to life when the conditions were equally hopeless. The sacrificed Jesus made us fit for God, set us right with God. (Romans 4:19-25)
Do you focus on your own impotence, or God’s power and ability to use you?
Dave Black writes about God’s ability to use every person in an article called “Handicapped? Serve the Lord anyway!” So what is your excuse today?