Another Cup o’ Joe
A few months ago, I had a wonderful meeting over coffee with my friend Joe. But, the experience was soon tarnished when I attempted to meet my friend Tom for coffee. (See “A Cup o’ Joe or a Cup with Joe“.) As I explained earlier, when I met with Tom, everything went wrong: we met at the wrong time and the wrong place; Tom was late, ordered the wrong thing, didn’t buy my coffee; and finally we sat at the wrong table. Since Tom obviously didn’t know how to meet for coffee, I vowed then and there never to have coffee with Tom again.
I’ve learned… never say, “Never”. Well, Tom is persistent. He has been calling me week after week asking to have coffee again. For a few weeks, it was easy for me to make excuses: I had to work late… again…, I was meeting my wife, my children had Tae Kwon Do, I was sick.
But, one day, when Tom asked me for coffee and I declined, Tom asked, “What’s wrong, Alan? I get the feeling that you don’t want to spend time with me.”
I sighed and explained to Tom that our last coffee meeting did not go that well, in my opinion. He asked what went wrong, and I let everything out. Tom apologized and offered to meet me at the correct coffee shop (Starbucks!), at the correct time (5:00). He said that he would buy both of us tall cafe mocha decafs, and that we would sit at a table in a quiet corner.
Honestly, I still didn’t want to do it. But, I decided to be the more mature Christian of the two of us, and I agreed to meet with him. Everything went well. Tom arrived at Starbucks on time. He bought the correct type and size of coffee for both of us this time. We even sat at a quiet table in the back corner. I was very proud of Tom. I could tell that he was really maturing.
However, from several of the comments that he made during our coffee meeting, I could tell that he still had a long way to go. For example, at one point he asked me if I’d ever tried the coffee at other coffee shops. (Well, of course I had! I had coffee with him at one of the heretical… I mean, other… coffee shops!) Again, while we were talking about our various work situations, he mentioned that he appreciated my friendship and that spending time with me was more important than what kind of coffee we drank. (Well, hopefully soon he’ll learn how important it is to drink the right kind of coffee.)
Eventually, it was time to leave. Tom thanked me several times for meeting with him. (Obviously, he could tell that he needs to meet with a mature coffee drinker like me.) He asked if I’d like to get together with him again. I agreed.
He asked where and when I’d like to meet. I may have rolled my eyes… Apparently he didn’t learn as much as I thought. I think this friendship is going to try my patience. Then he said, “I think I can get off work a little early again next week. What if we meet next week at this Starbucks at 5:00 again. I’ll buy us some tall mocha decafs and we can sit at a table in the corner.”
He smiled. I agreed and smiled back. I think I’m rubbing off on Tom. He’s learning what it means to be a true coffee drinker.
(P.S. Something strange happened after I finished writing about my coffee meeting with Tom. Joe, the man who taught me how to have a coffee meeting, invited me for coffee on Saturday morning at a local coffee shop – not Starbucks. He said that this local shop has a great pumpkin spice coffee. I’m praying for Joe. Apparently he has backslidden.)
But I gave at church
About a year ago, I wrote the post “But I gave at church” as part of a synchroblog. Our church had just decided on a novel budget (at least, it was novel to me). We decided to only included corporate responsibilities (such as rent) in our budget. We encouraged people to give specifically to other ministries, causes, and needy people. We’re still learning to work this budget for our corporate responsibilities, but people have been very excited about the freedom that they have to give as God directs.
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This post is part of a synchroblog concerning “Money and the Church”. I recently wrote a blog series on paying a salary to elders/pastors ,which would also go along with this synchroblog (see my post “Summary – Should elders/pastors be paid a salary?” for a summary of my argument and links to the argument details). However, for this synchroblog, I decided to go in a different direction. For this post I want to think about this question: How does a church – that is a group of believers – balance the corporate and individual responsibility of being good stewards of money? Also, I want to share an idea that some in the church came up with as a way to balance corporate and individual responsibilities of stewardship.
First, stewardship is a recognition that we – as God’s people – do not actually own anything that we possess. Instead, God is the owner, and we are stewards. Thus, we are responsible for using everything that we have in a manner worthy of and pleasing to God.
Second, stewardship is primarily a personal responsibility, as are other aspects of obedience. I cannot obey God for someone else, and someone else cannot obey God on my behalf. In the same way, I cannot be a steward of something that God has given to someone else, and other people are not responsible for stewarding those things that God has given to me. Of course, if someone gives me something – money, property, time, etc. – it is then my responsibility to be a good steward of those things that have been given to me.
Finally, if a group of people agree together to certain financial commitments, then they are corporately responsible – that is, responsible together – to meet those commitments. This is where most churches find themselves. They have corporate responsibilities to pay for buildings and other capital expenses, literature, salaries, benefits, etc. These types of expenses are rarely questioned and are usually considered to be necessary for a church – that is, a group of believers. In fact, many believers are taught that giving toward these corporate commitments is the way or at least the primary way of fulfilling financial stewardship.
However, there is a danger when considering corporate commitments. All corporate commitments are not biblical responsibilities. In fact, many church organizations have attempted to take personal responsibilities away from individuals and place them under the umbrella of the organization. Thus, many church organizations now take on benevolence and hospitality and service, such that the organization feels that the individual is obedient to God when the individual gives to the church organization. The church organization becomes a service middleman, obeying God as a representative of the individual. Is this a valid function of a church? If a person gives all of her money to a church organization is she actually obeying God?
As we examine the issues of corporate and personal responsibilities, let’s recognize that Scripture rarely – if ever – deals with the corporate aspect of stewardship. We only see instances in Scripture where people pool their money or possessions together for specific purposes, such as helping those who are in need (Acts 4:34-35; 1 Cor 16:1-3; etc.) or those who are travelling away from home to spread the gospel (Phil 4:14-17). We do not see instances of churches pooling together their money for their own benefit, in order to store the money in a bank account, or in order to provide for future needs.
However, we do see several instances where individuals are given the responsibility to personally provide for the needs of others. Here are a couple of passages in particular:
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. (James 2:14-17 ESV)
By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John 3:16-18 ESV)
There are other passages which deal with giving, doing charitable deeds, showing mercy, offering hospitality, providing food and drink – all of these are the personal responsibility of each follower of Jesus Christ. No one can obey for someone else. No group or church can obey on behalf of the individual Christian.
In many churches and in the minds of many Christians, the biblical concept of “use your money to provide for the needs of those around you” has been replaced with the concept of “put all of your money in the offering plate and let us decide how best to use it”. However, we should understand that putting all of our money into an offering plate is not a biblical teaching, and neither does it remove the responsibility from the individual for taking care of the needs of people that God brings into their lives.
I think that James might deal with this concept as follows: “If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘I put all of my money in the offering plate. Go talk to the benevolence committee and see if you are worthy of help,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?” Perhaps, John would respond to this concept as follow: “But if anyone has the world’s goods and puts it all in an offering plate without considering his brother in need, and so closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him?”
Recently, our church struggled with the balance between the corporate responsibilities and individual responsibilities of stewardship. The church had selected a few people to discuss these ideas and suggest a budget to help us meet corporate responsibilities as well as provide individuals with the means of meeting their personal stewardship responsibilities.
The group came up with a budget that was very different from anything that I have seen before – although, perhaps others have done something similar. I don’t think any of the people came into their meetings with this budget in mind. In fact, I know there were some differences of opinion in how to handle the money and the budget. I was not part of this group, but I was excited to see these people work together to come up with this concept.
According to this new budget – which was just approved by the church – we will take care of corporate responsibilities through our corporate offering. They removed everything from the budget that should be considered a personal responsibility. Since we have very little overhead and very few corporate expenses, the budget came to under $40 per person per month. This is the extent of our budget. Everyone knows that this amount is all that they are responsible for giving toward the “corporate budget”.
However, we all also understand that this is not the extent of our stewardship. We are individually responsible for giving to people and ministries as God leads us. Some of us are involved in ministries to children, and it makes sense that God would want them to use their money in those ministries. Others are involved in ministries overseas, and again it would make sense that God would want them to use their money in those endeavors. Some are involved in evangelistic or community service projects, and again it makes sense that God would want these people to use the money that he gives them to support these endeavors.
We also know that there will be times when there are special needs that we will want to contribute to together – much like the offering for the Jerusalem church during the famine, and the offering for Paul during his travels. When we know of these needs, we will take up contributions specifically to meet these needs, much like we see the church doing in Scripture.
I’m not putting this forward as the only possible option for how the church should deal with money. I’m not even saying that this is a good example. However, this is the way that we have decided to deal with these stewardship issues. I am excited that we are recognizing that we have both corporate and individual responsibilities when it comes to stewardship, and that according to Scripture, the individual responsibilities outweigh the corporate. We are moving away from a model where people feel they are being obedient stewards by simply placing a check in an offering plate. Now, we must consider the needs of people that God brings into our lives and how he would want us to meet those needs both individually and corporately.
What are they learning from you?
In my last post, “Learning from Strangers“, I suggested that we should primarily learn and grow through relationships, not from strangers.
Paul told Timothy, “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness…” (2 Timothy 3:10 ESV).
So, my question in this short post is this: what are your friends learning from you? And, I don’t mean just from your words, but also from your conduct, your aim in life, your faith, your patience, your love, your steadfastness… If we do primarily learn through relationships, then what are you teaching those people who are part of your life?
Learning from strangers
As followers of Jesus Christ, we should be ready to learn from anyone – especially other brothers and sisters – even if we do not know them. However, when reading through Scripture, it seems that the authors thought most learning would happen within relationships.
These relationships as described in Scripture are “full life” relationships, meaning that we primarily learn from people that we actually know. We know what they say. We know how that treat their family. We know about their work ethic. We know how they treat other people. Thus, we learn from people that we really, truly, actually know.
But, today, things have changed. Strangers (or acquaintances at best) are the primary source of “information” and learning for most Christians. We read books written by people that we do not know. We watch and listen to sermons given by people that we do not know. We attend conferences where the speakers are people that we do not know. We often listen week after week to teaching from people that we do not know – even if they are part of our church.
Thus, when our favorite author, or a powerful speaker, or a gifted musician “fails” we feel betrayed. But, in reality, we are failing ourselves by putting our trust so heavily in people that we actually do not know.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. Books, and tapes, and CD’s, and lectures, and conferences can be very helpful. But, these things should complement the really, true, actual learning and discipleship that takes place through really, true, actual relationships. These things (books, tapes, cd’s, lectures, conferences) should not take the place of relationships.
In fact, we’re now part of a “Christianity” in which relationships are not only secondary, but they are rare. When talking to others, we would prefer to quote our favorite author than to listen to someone we know, perhaps because we don’t really know them.
Jesus not only spoke the gospel of the kingdom, but he also demonstrated it. Paul told people to consider his words and his manner of living. John said that our fellowship with one another is actually fellowship with the Father and the Son. We’ve replaced learning through relationship (knowing someone and their manner of life) with learning from strangers (people we do not know – including their manner of life).
Your favorite author may be able to wax eloquently concerning the theological implications of the love of God. But, you will learn more about the love of God from the person that you actually know – the person who is struggling with his boss, but continues to love her – the person who gives to others while going without himself – the person who would walk into a low income neighborhood because of her concern for the neighbors there.
Relationships are more than pastimes or good ideas. God worked in Scripture primarily through relationships. Discipleship occurs primarily through relationships. Spiritual growth occurs through relationships. Its time to spend less time with our favorite authors and more time with the people that God has placed in our lives.
Where do you hang out?
Mary at “One Thing is Needed” asks the question “Where Would Jesus Hang Out“? She found herself in a social club/bar listening to a friend’s performance. She saw the kinds of things you might expect to see in a bar. She said that she was not sad to leave, but then she had a thought:
Then I remembered that Jesus would most likely have been quite comfortable last night hanging out with people who were doing and saying things that no respectable church person would ever be caught doing. Why was I so uncomfortable if Jesus would likely have spent the entire evening there? I’m not sure. It seems that I can read about several times when Jesus intentionally hung out with those who made other people uncomfortable…
I may say that I want to be like Jesus, but do I realize that it means loving and being around people the “church” has often rejected, pitied, neglected, ignored, protested against, avoided, hurt, or demanded changed from? People that I’m uncomfortable around? I’m slow to learn, but hopefully I am.
Mary is asking important questions and coming to very important conclusions. If we are going to follow Jesus, then we will be following him into places and circumstances that might make us uncomfortable. But, following Jesus is NEVER about our comfort.
Christian Sacramentalism
According New Advent, the online Catholic encyclopedia, “sacraments” are “outward signs of inward grace, instituted by Christ for our sanctification”. Since the Reformation, many protestants have verbally denied that participated in certain activities actually imparts grace on the one performing the activity.
However, while sacramentalism is often verbally denied, I believe that is still practiced by most Protestants, including evangelicals. In fact, I think that modern Christianity – as it is practiced by most believers – is steeped in sacramentalism.
For example, many believers attend church meetings – “worship services” – because they believe they are supposed to attend as a Christian and because they believe they get something from it. However, few have considered the purpose of attending these meetings as described and prescribed in Scripture. Thus, they are attending a meeting – “worship service” – for a sacramental reason, not to carry out another purpose.
Instead, Scripture teaches that believers should meet together for a specific purpose: building up one another, exhorting one another to grow in maturity in Christ, encouraging one another toward love and good works. In fact, simply attending a church meeting does not impart grace on a believer. God does not keep attendance. (See “But I have perfect attendance“)
The same argument could be made toward various activities that happen during the church meeting (“worship service”), such as singing songs, giving money, bowing our heads, closing our eyes, listening to teaching, etc.
Similarly, why do believers read Scripture or attend Bible studies? If they read or listen simply to say that they’ve done it, then this is a sacramental view of Scripture. They are reading or listening because they think they get something from God (grace?) because they performed a certain activity. Those who approach Scripture in this manner – sacramentally – may find that they read through the Bible each year, but they will rarely find that their life has been transformed.
Paul tells the Corinthians that there is nothing special about carrying out certain activities. The Corinthians were eating and drinking and calling it the “Lord’s Supper”, but Paul told them that they were not actually partaking of the “Lord’s Supper”. Why? Because they forgot the purpose of eating together. (1 Cor. 11:20-21)
As followers of Jesus Christ, we must always evaluate our activities, but we must also evaluate our purpose in doing those activities. If we are simply doing something for the sake of doing it – because we think its required or because we think we should or because we’ve always done it or because we think that we receive some reward for doing it – then we are practicing sacramental Christianity.
He will not break a bruised reed
Sunday, I had to opportunity to teach the church. Since we’re studying through the Book of Matthew, I taught on Matthew 12:15-21. Part of that passage reads as follows:
A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench until he brings justice to victory. (Matthew 12:20 ESV; a quotation from Isaiah 42:3)
The reed would be used for measurement or support. When the reed was bruised or damaged, it would not be good for measuring or supporting anymore. Therefore, it would be broken and tossed into the fire. When a wick in an oil lamp begins to smoke or smolder, the wick is about used up. The old wick is removed and replaced with a new wick.
But, when the Lord’s Servant comes, Isaiah says that he would not break a bruised reed, nor would he quench a smoldering wick. Instead, Isaiah promised that the Servant would bring justice to victory. Matthew applies this prophetic passage to Jesus. He is telling his readers – and us – that Jesus did not come to judge the damaged and used up people, but instead he was bringing them justice which would lead to victory.
I encouraged others to consider the damaged, bruised, broken, and used up people that they come across from day to day. Jesus desires to bring those people justice which leads to victory; he does not desire to bring judgment and condemnation; he does not desire to break them or throw them out. Our responsibility as followers and representatives of Jesus is to offer them love and mercy as God has offered it to us.
While this was only a small part of my teaching on this passage, it apparently struck a nerve. Several people shared about the damaged and broken people that God had brought into their lives.
One young lady shared about a cafe owner that she had met recently. She had intentionally spent time in this cafe to get to know this man and a woman who works there as well. It turns out that the man is from France. After my friend got to know him and shared the good news of Jesus Christ with him, he told her that he had had a hard time meeting people in this small Southern town. Many of the Christians would not talk to him because he served wine. Then, when they did talk to him, they simply asked him where he went to church and invited him to their church. He said he felt like they were trying to sell him something. After my friend explained the good news, the man said, “If only it could really be like that…”
A couple of other people told about young men and young women that God had brought into their lives. Some were dealing with marital issues, some were being abused, some were struggling with illnesses or poverty or addiction. In every case, my friends expressed a desire to demonstrate the love of God to these broken, bruised, and damaged people.
Then, a man shared a modern day parable with us. He said that a dog showed up on their front porch a couple of days earlier. The dog looked malnourished, so they decided to feed him, recognizing that the dog would probably stay if they started taking care of him. They have since bought the dog a collar (he didn’t have one) and gave him a bath. The dog probably belongs to someone who will show up one day to take him back home.
After sharing this story, my friend asked: Why is it so easy to take care of a dog that is in need, but so difficult to take care of a person who is in need. I think my friend’s simple story taught us much more about sharing the love of God than my teaching did. I thank God that my friend had the opportunity to speak to the church – even though he was not scheduled to teach or preach – and I thank God that my friend took advantage of that opportunity in order to edify us and to stir us all up toward love and good works.
No produce, just relationships
At the beginning of the summer, our family and some friends began to visit a local government assisted housing development. Cathy, a friend of ours who is part of the church with us, introduced us to many of her neighbors, and we met other neighbors while spending time in the neighborhood.
When we started visiting the people in this neighborhood, we would take them small bags of fresh produce or fresh baked bread. Why? For several reasons. 1) The produce and bread were small tokens to demonstrate our concern for them. 2) Often charitable groups bring in old produce, breads, cookies, and cakes that other people would not buy. We wanted to give them something that anyone would want… not leftovers. 3) We wanted to give vegetables, fruit, and wheat bread to encourage a healthy lifestyle. 4) We were hoping the produce and bread would give us opportunities to serve them in other ways, including opportunities to proclaim the gospel.
A few weeks ago, the lady that runs the produce stand (Vivian – which is another story altogether) told us that the stand was closing. That morning, as we told the people in the neighborhood that the produce stand was closing, they all said about the same thing: “You’re still going to visit us, aren’t you?” Our weekly visits had turned into more than an opportunity to hand out produce. We had begun to build relationships with the neighbors.
So, throughout the week, I often find myself thinking about and praying for Cathy, Dennis, Tina, Mrs. Jeans, Shonna and her children (Marvin, Laruen, and Mya), Mrs. Woodlief and her son Benny, and Mrs. Fort. We’ve met a few other people in the neighborhood, but these are the ones with whom we usually spend the most time. These are the people who have opened their homes and their lives and have invited us in. (By the way, if you’re interested, we’ve posted some pictures from our visit last Saturday on our family blog in a post called “Friends and Family on Saturdays“.)
If you think about, please pray for Dennis. His father passed away last Friday, and the funeral is Monday.
And, pray for Cathy. She’s struggling with health issues – emphysema and back pain.
Also, pray for Tina. Tina’s son died from an overdose a couple of weeks ago. Tina ended up being hospitalized herself because of emotional issues a few days later. Now, she is dealing with several other issues related to her ex-husband and former care giver.
Pray for Mrs. Jeans. She had skin cancer on her ear last summer. The doctor removed part of her ear, but now something else is wrong. She has also been struggling with health issues, including a couple of weeks with the flu. Plus, her nephew is having family issues also.
If you ask Mrs. Woodlief, she’ll tell you to pray for everything. But, we know that her foot often hurts her, and she has to walk with a cane then.
And, Mrs. Fort will always tell her to pray for her knee. When the weather changes – which has happened alot lately – her knee hurts as well. If you think about it, also pray for the grandchildren and great-grandchildren who live with Mrs. Fort.
We can no longer offer these precious people fresh vegetables and fruit. We still carry fresh bread occasionally. But, they’ve let us know that they don’t want the produce and bread as much as they need the relationships. For many of them, we’re their only support system. We don’t have much to offer financially, but we can and do offer the love of God as often as possible.
Do you think there may be someone out there waiting for you to demonstrate the love of God? Why not start getting involved in someone’s life today?
Having the words but not the Word
James, at “Idle musings of a bookseller“, in his post “A few on church“, reminded me of a very interesting statement that Jesus makes:
And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me. His voice you have never heard, his form you have never seen, and you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom he has sent. You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life. (John 5:37-40 ESV)
I read this passage today during our church meeting. I think there are still many who search the Scriptures – even study them diligently – even in the original languages – and yet they miss the one that the Scriptures point to. There are many who try to keep each nuance of the rules and regulations of Scripture, but they have yet to understand that God desires mercy and not sacrifice (Matt 12:7). There are many who can quote and parse and diagram… they know the words, but they do not know the author.
Knowing the words is very important. But, we need to make sure that we don’t miss the Word in the words.
Scary Things
I wrote this post (“Scary Things“) for Halloween last year (October 31, 2007). It was one of my favorite posts from last year. It was very fun to write. If you go back and read the comments, you’ll see that several people added “scary things” of their own. Perhaps you can think of some “scary things” that you would like to add. Remember… this is both analogy and sarcasm… sarcalogy?
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What could be more appropriate on Halloween than a list of scary things? Of course, since the name of this blog is “The Assembling of the Church”, these scary things may be a little different than they appear:
1) A being with multiple heads. I’ve heard it said that a creature without a head is a monster. I think an organism with multiple heads is a monster as well.
2) Self-mutilation. It is scary to me to think of people who will wilfully harm their own body. You know what I mean, and I’m sure you’ve all witnessed it: people who are perfectly willing to hack off an arm or a leg, or remove their spleen, all the while crying, “It’s merely a flesh wound”. This is scary.
3) Insenstivity to pain. This is another scary thing to me. Can you imagine living life without knowing when you are hurt. Imagine having an arm or leg or spleen that is shrivelling up and dying, and yet you do not realize it. Although I’m sure that if you had this problem, you would pay extra attention to the parts of your body to make sure that none are hurting.
4) Fratricide. My brother often made me angry, but I can’t imagine killing him. I mean, sure, he was wrong often, and I was never wrong. But, I would not have killed him just for being wrong. And, the words that I said to him don’t count as murder, right? Fratricide is certainly scary.
5) Ghosts. I don’t like ghosts. I mean, they look real, but they’re only spiritual. There’s no physical substance; they can’t actually do anything. What good is something that is only spiritual which can’t affect the physical?
6) Zombies. Zombies scare me. They act like they’re alive – they move and make noise even though the noise is mostly moaning and groaning and grumbling. But, they’re not actually alive. Instead they only move based on their dead instincts.
7) Vampires. Vampires are very smooth, but they don’t add to life, they suck the life out of people. Vampires are fun to watch and incredibly good to the ego. But when it comes down to it, they’re dead and they kill other things. This is scary.
8) Werewolves. These guys act like normal people, but then, at certain times, they turn into something completely different. They act different. They talk different. They hang out with different types of creatures. Then, they go back to their normal existence when the special time is over. This is scary.
9) Haunted houses. These are special places where the spiritual realm exist. You have to be careful when you go into these places, because they make people do weird things; things they wouldn’t normally do outside the haunted house. The good thing is, it seems the spiritual things rarely venture outside the haunted house.
10) Masks. These are truly scary. I mean, the face on the outside is scary enough, but who knows what the face underneath looks like? The face underneath is the one that I’m scared of.
So, what scares you?