the weblog of Alan Knox

Learning from strangers

Posted by on Nov 12, 2008 in community, discipleship, fellowship | 2 comments

As followers of Jesus Christ, we should be ready to learn from anyone – especially other brothers and sisters – even if we do not know them. However, when reading through Scripture, it seems that the authors thought most learning would happen within relationships.

These relationships as described in Scripture are “full life” relationships, meaning that we primarily learn from people that we actually know. We know what they say. We know how that treat their family. We know about their work ethic. We know how they treat other people. Thus, we learn from people that we really, truly, actually know.

But, today, things have changed. Strangers (or acquaintances at best) are the primary source of “information” and learning for most Christians. We read books written by people that we do not know. We watch and listen to sermons given by people that we do not know. We attend conferences where the speakers are people that we do not know. We often listen week after week to teaching from people that we do not know – even if they are part of our church.

Thus, when our favorite author, or a powerful speaker, or a gifted musician “fails” we feel betrayed. But, in reality, we are failing ourselves by putting our trust so heavily in people that we actually do not know.

Now, don’t misunderstand me. Books, and tapes, and CD’s, and lectures, and conferences can be very helpful. But, these things should complement the really, true, actual learning and discipleship that takes place through really, true, actual relationships. These things (books, tapes, cd’s, lectures, conferences) should not take the place of relationships.

In fact, we’re now part of a “Christianity” in which relationships are not only secondary, but they are rare. When talking to others, we would prefer to quote our favorite author than to listen to someone we know, perhaps because we don’t really know them.

Jesus not only spoke the gospel of the kingdom, but he also demonstrated it. Paul told people to consider his words and his manner of living. John said that our fellowship with one another is actually fellowship with the Father and the Son. We’ve replaced learning through relationship (knowing someone and their manner of life) with learning from strangers (people we do not know – including their manner of life).

Your favorite author may be able to wax eloquently concerning the theological implications of the love of God. But, you will learn more about the love of God from the person that you actually know – the person who is struggling with his boss, but continues to love her – the person who gives to others while going without himself – the person who would walk into a low income neighborhood because of her concern for the neighbors there.

Relationships are more than pastimes or good ideas. God worked in Scripture primarily through relationships. Discipleship occurs primarily through relationships. Spiritual growth occurs through relationships. Its time to spend less time with our favorite authors and more time with the people that God has placed in our lives.


Comments are closed. If you would like to discuss this post, send an email to alan [at] alanknox [dot] net.

  1. 11-12-2008

    I think this is a problem that will grow even worse over time. With all the social media sites, our ability to make and connect to “friends” is growing exponentially.

    We will be associated on line with people we will never meet face to face on who we cannot develop a deep friendship with or understanding of.

    It is easy to have a surface feel of community without ever really deeply connecting. And if they say or do something on line that disturbs or dismays you, you may feel betrayed without any outlet to deeply discuss and reconcile.

    We can learn much from strangers, but we must be prepared to accept that not all learning edifies your Christian walk, and learn to react and deal with it accordingly.

  2. 11-12-2008


    I think that as long as believers remain in surface relationships only, they will not grow in faith and in maturity.