Interrelational Discussion Group – Scripture
Two friends of mine have started an “Interrelational Discussion Group” to interact over various topics of interest. They want these biweekly (every two weeks) meetings to become opportunities for people to build stronger relationships, and opportunities to discuss practical aspects of the topic for that meeting. They started three or four weeks ago with a meeting to discuss their goals and agenda. Then, a couple of weeks ago, they met to discuss the Christian’s ethical response to the ecology (I mentioned this meeting briefly in a post called “Eco-Theology and Discipleship“).
The next meeting will be Sunday evening, June 22, at 7:00 pm, and the topic will be Scripture. If you will be in the Wake Forest, NC area that evening, and if you’d like to take part in the discussion and fellowship, send me an email for more information. (My email address is in the right side-bar of my blog.)
Remember, these discussions may start theoretically, but the desire of the organizers is to move to the practical. If you make a statement about Scripture, be prepared to answer the question, “How does that statement affect how you live?”
Friends and Family Plan
I’m still working on my last paper for my Spring PhD seminars. But, I took a couple of breaks at the end of last week to spend time with friends and family.
Late Thursday night, we took a late night trip down to Raleigh to get “Hot Now” doughnuts from Krispy Kreme. I love that red neon light! We were celebrating Cindy’s birthday. It was great to be able to spend some time laughing with good friends. The doughnuts didn’t hurt either!
Friday evening, some other friends invited us to their house for a cookout. Imagine 4 hours with 7 adults and 16 kids and hot dogs, a water slide, bean bag toss, cheese cake, water gun fights, conversation, light saber wars, and prayer. I am so grateful to God for the brothers and sisters that he has placed in our lives.
Everything is not always easy and fun. Within these same groups of friends, we’ve dealt with some important issues. But, we continue to remain family through those trials. Why? Because we are not just acquaintances who see each other one or two days per week for a formal meeting. We are family. We see each other as family and we treat each other as family. We’re learning what it means to be a community in Jesus Christ.
The Church as Relational Organism
A few days ago, in a post called “What is a ‘traditional’ church?“, I mentioned a new book that I was reading: Missional House Churches: Reaching Our Communities with the Gospel (Colorado Springs: Paternoster, 2007) by J.D. Payne. Primarily, I picked up this book because of the title and because it was written by a Southern Baptist. I haven’t read much concerning “missional” or “house” church from the perspective of other Southern Baptists, so I was intrigued by this combination.
Overall, I liked this book. As with almost all books, the author and I hold differing opinions on a few things. For example, when he is defining the Church/church (he uses “Church” for “universal church” and “church” for “local church”), I think he makes more of a distinction between “universal” and “local” than Scripture makes.
However, I appreciated his organic and relational definition of the church (I will use one term for both, like Scripture does):
What is clear from the Gospels is that Jesus came to establish a new community… The citizens of this new community were part of a divine kingdom and lived according to the kingdom of ethic that involved 1) love for the King, 2) love for others in the kingdom, and 3) love for those outside the kingdom. (26-27)
For the most part, the church today is defined and understood in institutional and compartmentalized concepts… On the other hand, the Scriptures advocate that the church… is primarily understood in relation to the kingdom of God through organic metaphors emphasizing 1) the relationship of believers to God, 2) the relationship of believers to one another, and 3) the relationship of believers to unbelievers. The church is primarily to be understood in simple relational terms. (35-37)
Similarly, when Payne discusses the various metaphors that the authors of Scripture use to describe the church, he begins with my favorite metaphor – the family:
The obvious meaning behind this metaphor is that the bonds holding together the citizens of the kingdom are as strong, if not stronger, than the bond of blood. Just as an earthly family loves, honors, protects, encourages, and cares for one another, the church must do likewise. (29-30)
My thinking about the church changed drastically when I began seeing the church as a family instead of seeing the church as an organization. I began interacting with people through the relationships that God created through his Spirit instead of interacting with people through positions and functions. We are brothers and sisters with the same father. That relationship is stronger than blood.
Why focus on relationship?
So, why should we focus on relationship? Why should we give up our personal time getting to know and serving others? Why should we spend more time with people than we spend planning our meetings and programs? Why should people be so important to us?
1. God wants us to love him with our whole being (which involves a relationship with him).
2. If we don’t love others, then we do not love God.
3. What else, according to Scripture, depends upon relationship? edification, discipleship, evangelism, giving, discipline, teaching, Spirit-led life.
Are there other reasons that we should focus on relationship? Are there reasons that we should not focus on relationship?
Interdependence
As followers of Jesus Christ, we are both dependent upon God, and interdependent upon one another. Unfortunately, society teaches us to be independent – neither dependent nor interdependent. We’re taught to learn for ourselves, fend for ourselves, care for ourselves, earn for ourselves, and do for ourselves. We’re taught not to admit that we need help from anyone nor to accept help from anyone. This is the nature of American society, but it is not the nature of the follower of Jesus Christ – he or she has a new nature.
This point was driven home for me last Friday. Our family arrived at the event location for the North Raleigh / Wake Forest Relay for Life around 5:15 p.m. We were supposed to drop off our canopy, chairs, tables, etc. – which we did. The committee was supposed to pick up our stuff and take it to our site – which they did. I was supposed to park my vehicle – which I did – while my family walked to our site – which they did. Everything was going according to plan.
Except… as soon as I parked our van, it started to rain. It wasn’t a slow sprinkle, it was a gully-washer – at least, that’s what we called it in Alabama. The entire time that I was walking – running – to our event site, I could picture my family standing in the middle of a muddy field getting drenched by the rain. Imagine my surprise when I reached our site to find that two teenagers from a nearby site had come to their rescue! The two young men were helping my wife set up the canopy, and they had pulled all of our equipment under the canopy. Those two teenagers were my heroes that night! After I arrived, I helped them finish setting up the canopy, and we stayed as dry as we could while the rain continued.
Not long after our canopy was set up, another team arrived at the site next to ours. The team – at this time – consisted of a mother, her teenage daughter, and two or three more teenage girls. My family helped them spread their canopy over their stuff. We offered to help them raise their canopy, but they said they didn’t want to raise it yet. Instead, they stood under some umbrellas and waited for the husband to arrive.
When the husband arrived, I again went over and offered assistance. I told him that some boys from a neighboring site had helped us, and that we would love to help them set up their canopies – they actually had two. He said no. He didn’t need the help, but thank you anyway.
We watched and listened as he struggled to raise the canopy in the wind and rain. He was obviously getting frustrated because his family was not doing things the way he thought they should be done. They often spoke loudly – shouted – at one another as they tried to raise the two canopies and keep their stuff dry at the same time.
When the shouting had subsided for a moment, and when tempers seems to settle a little, I again walked over and asked if I could help. He said… and I quote… “No, we like to fight while we do this.” I told him that I would be glad to help, if he decided he needed anything. Then, I walked back to my canopy.
As I think back over this encounter, I recognize the church acting in this stubborn, independent manner many times. It seems that even believers have the attitude that they can do everything by themselves and they don’t need any one’s help. It often appears that many feel that asking for help or accepting help from others is a sign of weakness or spiritual immaturity.
This is such a travesty and a misunderstanding of what it means to be brothers and sisters in Christ. God provides us with relationships with one another so that we can love one another, accept one another, help one another, give to one another, and serve one another. We cannot make it through this life alone – at least, we cannot live the way God wants us to live alone. We need God, and we also need one another. Independence may be an American virtue, but it is a Christian vice.
The next day, Saturday, my family was helping one our young, single, female friends move. (I mentioned this briefly in my post called “Weekend of Service“.) A few weeks before, this young lady began telling people that she needed help finding a place to live. Another family asked if she would like to live with them. They shuffled their boys’ bedrooms so that our friend could have a room to herself, and Saturday afternoon, a bunch of us got together, packed up her belongings, and moved her into their house.
After unloading all of the boxes, another friend brought dinner for everyone. While I was sitting there enjoying a homemade meatball sub, I remembered the encounter with the man who refused to acknowledge that he needed help, and refused to accept help when it was offered. What a stark contrast to my friends, one of whom acknowledged that she needed help and accepted the help that was offered, and a family who was willing to put their own comforts aside and offer help.
This is a beautiful picture of God’s family. Brothers and sisters recognizing their complete dependence upon God and willing to live interdependent upon one another. That evening, I couldn’t help but thank them and praise God for the example of community that he had shown be that day.
Weekend of Service
This has been a very busy weekend. I’ve been trying to decide how to describe everything that happened this weekend, but I’ve come to the conclusion that its impossible. I’ll simply touch on a few highlights.
Friday night and Saturday morning, our family and some friends took part in the North Raleigh / Wake Forest Relay for Life for the American Cancer Society. We were able to raise more money than we had expected thanks to the generous donations of our families and friends. More importantly, Friday night, Margaret and another friends had the chance to serve dinner and dessert to almost 100 cancer survivors. They worked for a total of four hours while other people were enjoying the Relay for Life event. What a blessing and an example they are for us!
Saturday afternoon and evening, we helped a single friend of ours move. She moved in with another family who are also friends of ours. We are so encouraged that she asked for help, and that the family offered to help her in her living situation. Many people are too proud to ask for help, and many are too concerned about themselves and their family to open up their homes to others. God has surrounded us with some very special people.
Sunday, after our weekly church meeting, we had lunch with many of our friends. We were able to visit with some friends from Chicago that we have not seen in almost a year. As we were cleaning up, a man walked up and asked me about a deli near our meeting location. I told him the deli was closed. I asked if he needed something to eat, and he said yes. So, I invited him in to join us. Although everything had been packed up, several ladies grabbed their left-overs and fixed him a huge plate of food. As he ate, several people came over to introduce themselves and to ask him about himself. It was such a blessing to see my brothers and sisters demonstrating God’s love to someone they did not know.
A Cup o’ Joe or a Cup with Joe
A few weeks ago, my friend Joe invited me for a cup of coffee. We decided to meet at a local Starbucks on Tuesday at 5:00, just after work. We happened to arrive at the same time, and coincidentally, we both ordered the same thing: a tall cafe mocha decaf. Joe surprised me by buying my coffee. We found an empty table in a quiet corner and spent the next hour or so talking about God and life. We each discussed what God was teaching us and how we were trying to obey him in our day-to-day lives. We talked about loving other people and caring for the least. As Joe told his stories, I was encouraged and challenged all at the same time. When Joe announced that he had to leave, I was disappointed but also understood the demands of life and family.
I enjoyed my time with Joe, and I was looking forward to spending more time with him. From what I could tell, we had experienced real fellowship, the beginning of community, the sharing of the Spirit. Also, since I am learning what it means to grow in maturity and disciple others, I thought it would be a good idea to share this experience with others.
The next week, I invited another friend to have a cup of coffee with me. Unfortunately, Tom was busy on Tuesday evening, so we had to meet on Wednesday. He works later than I do, so we met at 5:30, and since Tom doesn’t like Starbucks, we went to a local coffee shop. I was a little concerned about the change in plans, but I thought maybe it would work anyway. When I got to the coffee shop, I had to wait about 10 minutes for Tom to show up; apparently he was delayed at work. I ordered my tall cafe mocha decaf, and waited a moment for Tom to order. Instead, Tom waited until after I paid for my coffee. I was surprised that Tom didn’t buy my coffee, and I was getting a little anxious. Next, Tom ordered a black coffee – no mocha, no decaf. Even though there was an empty table in the corner, Tom picked a table in the center of the room.
As we sat and talked, I kept going over things in my mind: Wedneday instead of Tuesday; 5:30 instead of 5:00; local coffee shop instead of Starbucks; Tom was late, and he didn’t pay for my coffee; Tom didn’t order the same thing that I ordered; our table was right in the middle of the shop, while there was a perfectly good empty table in the corner. Things were not going well for our coffee meeting. In fact, I didn’t see how anything good could come out of this. Everything was going wrong, and nothing was going right!
Finally, after enduring several minutes of this train wreck, I interrupted Tom as he was babbling on about how his job was not going very well, and how he was afraid that he was going to be downsized, and how he and his wife were having trouble. I told him that I needed to go and that I was sorry that our meeting wasn’t very productive.
Then, Tom said something surprising, “I noticed that you seemed distracted. Is there something wrong?”
Can you believe that Tom asked me if there was something wrong!?!? I mean, everything was wrong! The day was wrong! The time was wrong! The location was wrong! The coffee was wrong! The table was wrong! I can’t believe he had the nerve to ask me if there was something wrong. I don’t even know if this could be called a proper meeting for coffee!
But, instead of pointing out his obvious flaws, I just shook my head and made a hasty exit. I decided then and there to never have coffee with Tom again. He just doesn’t know how to meet for coffee.
The Lord’s Supper, Idolatry, and Unity
Tomorrow, God willing, I’ll be teaching from this passage:
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Matthew 6:19-24 ESV)
We’ll also eat the Lord’s Supper together, so I’ve been thinking about this passage:
Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. I speak as to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say. The cup of blessing that we bless, is it not a participation in the blood of Christ? The bread that we break, is it not a participation in the body of Christ? Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread. Consider the people of Israel: are not those who eat the sacrifices participants in the altar? What do I imply then? That food offered to idols is anything, or that an idol is anything? No, I imply that what pagans sacrifice they offer to demons and not to God. I do not want you to be participants with demons. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the table of the Lord and the table of demons. Shall we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than he? “All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. (1 Corinthians 10:14-24 ESV)
Can you see the connection between the Lord’s Supper, idolatry, and unity in these passages?
Thinking about 1 Corinthians 11:20-21, where some of the Corinthians were eating, but it was not the Lord’s Supper because of the way they were treating one another… I wonder how many tomorrow will eat and drink, but it won’t be the Lord’s Supper because of idolatry (having another master) or disunity. I wonder if I will be one of those…
Man-made or (super)Natural Community
Last week, while we were on vacation in the mountains of North Carolina, we had several opportunities to spend some time at a few waterfalls in the area. We enjoyed stopping by the side of the road and walking the trails to the falls. Usually we only had to walk a few yards into the woods to find the waterfall.
We saw small waterfalls that were only a few feet high, and we saw Whitewater Falls which claims to be the highest waterfall in the eastern United States. We saw cascade falls, tiered falls, and plunge falls. We even saw one fall that was called a “sliding rock” with swimming holes at the top and bottom, although Jeremy and Miranda said the water was too cold for swimming.
All of the waterfalls were different and all of them were very beautiful in their own way. We enjoyed the natural beauty of the water, the sound of the water cascading over rocks or falling into a pool below, and the deep green of the woods around the waterfalls.
However, there was one waterfall did we did not enjoy. In fact, once we stopped to look at the waterfall, we only stayed for a few seconds. Why? The waterfall was not natural. It was a man-made fall. Yes, there was water cascading down over rocks, but above there was an earthen dam that controlled the flow of water. We could immediately tell that there was something different about this fall. Even though it had all the proper ingredients – water, rocks, sound, woods – it was not the same. This waterfall was contrived… controlled… man-made. It was not a real waterfall.
As I have been thinking about these waterfalls, especially in relation to the man-made waterfall, I wonder if our churches are similar. Could it be that many of us are not experiencing real Spirit-created community, but instead are we experiencing something that is contrived, controlled, and man-made?
I’m thinking specifically about alot of “small groups” of people who are placed together because of age, interests, etc. Placing people together does not create community, although it could certainly allow God opportunities to create community. The question is, are we trying to create something, or are we allowing God to create the community. If we are allowing God to create the community, are we giving him complete control, or are we setting limits for him. The more we become involved in trying to create community, the more contrived, controlled, and man-made it will become. It will not be a community that finds their identity in Christ and shares fellowship in the Spirit. Instead, it will be a group of people who find their identity in a certain person, location, time, etc.
I’m sure that the people who created the waterfall wanted to make something that was just as beautiful as the natural waterfalls around the area. In the same way, the people who try to create community themselves are trying to create something wonderful, something necessary. Probably, in many cases, they are trying to create a community because they have experienced and lived in a Spirit-created community. But, man cannot create something that only God can create. We can create something close – something that looks right – something that feels right at times – but it remains contrived, controlled, and man-made.
When institutions get in the way
A couple of days ago, as part of a synchroblog, I published a post called “Give a little bit?” In response to that post, an anonymous commenter left the following comment:
Considering your concerns with “how we do church,” do you think this has an affect on how much we do for the poor, downtrodden, needy, etc?
For example, it is a well known fact that for most churches the offerings they receive are spent mostly upon staff and buildings. In my church approximately 85% of our annual giving goes to these things. This leaves only 15% for ministry in our church and for missions efforts. We do almost nothing for the poor.
And of course most people feel very obligated to support their church first, before anything else. I’d like to give to some other organizations that do work with those in need, but I feel bad about neglecting the “budget of the church.” And since I give about $600.00 a month of my income already (I know this isn’t really a great amount and would really like to do more eventually), it is hard at the time to find other money in my own budget to support other ministries besides the church.
Additionally, because the ministries of the church must run smoothly, most people are encouraged to give their time to the programs (aka ministries) of the church. Although these programs are not in and of themselves bad, in fact many of them are really good, they are mainly geared to those in the church. This leaves people very little time in an already busy life to show concern to the “outside” world.
Alot of the time it seems our resources are all used up (time, talent, and treasure) to “build” the church. But I sometimes wonder what we are really building and if it is really what Jesus had in mind for us to build.
So by the way we “do church,” it seems we have diminished people’s ability to share their time or their money with those in need outside of the church.
Does this make sense? There seems to be a corrolation to me. Maybe not always, but at least often. What do you think?
To answer the questions raised by the anonymous commenter: Yes, this does make sense, and yes, you are making the connection between “doing church” and believers’ abilities to model their life after Scripture.
Let me put it this way… I’m often asked if I’m against church programs or structures or organization. I’ve written about this before, but its worth another visit. I am not against church programs or structure or organization. I am concerned when programs, structures, organizations, and other institutional elements become equated with being the church or obeying God’s will for his children.
Let me explain… As the anonymous commenter described above, church organizations often encourage (or stronger) their members to give in order to maintain the organization. They are asked to give toward building more buildings, buying more literature, purchasing more equipment and supplies… and the giving is associate with giving in Scripture. But, in the New Testament, giving is always associated with people, especially people in need. Giving is not associated with church structures and organizations in Scripture. Thus, a person who gives to a church institution is not following the scriptural commands or the scriptural model of giving. Plus, if giving to a church organization means that the person does not have any money to give to people in need, then giving to the church organization is actually causing people to disobey.
But, this goes much farther than the realm of giving. Think about spending time with neighbors, coworkers, friends, family members, and others who need to see and hear a good news witness. If almost every moment is spent on “church activities”, then when do people have time for others? If we meet on Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night… then Tuesday night for “evangelism training”, then Friday night for “youth activities”, then Saturday for “children’s activities”… do we actually ever get around to spending time with the world – the ones who need a child of God in their lives the most?
When do we have time for fellowship? – not sharing a meal with 1000 other people, but sharing your life (and a meal) with a few. When do we have time for discipleship? – not listening to a professional teach for 30 – 45 minutes, but actually impacting the lives of other believers by spending time with them. When do we have time to teach and train our children? – not dropping them off in the nursery or children’s church or Sunday school, but actually taking the time to demonstrate a life of faith for them.
I am not against church institutions. However, institutions tend to become an end to themselves. When this happens – when the structures, organizations, meetings, and programs of the “church” become more important than edifying, discipling, fellowshiping… living a life of faith… then the institutions become dangerous and damaging to believers. The child of God thinks that he or she is obeying God and growing in maturity because he or she is taking part in the institutional programs. Instead, he or she may simply be growing closer to the institution. Being involved in the institutions replaces living a life of faith – trusting God for everything.
I am not against church institutions. But, I am much more in favor of believers living their lives in a manner that demonstrates their faith in God in everything that they do. Sometimes, church institutions hinder that kind of life.