Make a Difference
Jamey at “A Life Transformed” is one of those voices that every believer should listen closely to. Here is one of her recent posts called “What Would Have Made A Difference“:
If you would have reached out to me as a friend, that would have made a difference.
I needed the support and encouragement of someone who cared.If you would have taken the time to listen, that would have made a difference.
I needed someone who could understand.If you would have accepted me, that would have made a difference.
I wanted to feel like I belonged.If you would have loved me, that would have made a difference.
It would have gave me hope.All these things would have made a difference,
I would have seen Jesus in you.The hurting need to know that someone cares and loves them. Sometimes the thing they may need most is someone to just be there. If we want to see lives transformed with the message of Jesus, we need to show them Jesus. We do that through our actions by loving them, genuinely caring for them, having compassion for them, and seeing them as Jesus does. That exemplifies the love of Christ.
Jamey is not speaking from theory. She’s been homeless before. She knows how the poor are treated, even by Christians.
I’m ready to make a difference. How about you?
Listening, Learning, Serving
About a year and a half ago, I wrote a post called “Listening, learning, serving“. The purpose of this post was to encourage believers to listen and learn from people before they jump in and try to serve them. As I’ve learned to do this, I’ve heard time and time again from people, “Usually when people come to our neighborhood to help, they do things that don’t really help us.” Are you willing to spend the time to get to know people and then serve them in ways that actually help?
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I’ve had an ongoing conversation over the last few days with my wife, Margaret, and a good friend of ours (Theron from “Sharing in the Life“). Actually, for me, the conversation started a couple of days before that when another friend of ours made a comment about some ladies that we have not seen lately, whom we have tried to serve, but for some reason, we have failed to serve them. This comment led to our continuing conversation about service – particularly about serving people who are different from us: people from different cultures, different ages (generations), different beliefs, etc.
Theron and I began talking about serving people from foreign cultures: specifically, how would we serve people if we lived in a foreign culture? I realize that many people who read this blog deal with this question (and similar questions) every day of their life. Theron suggested that before we could serve someone, we would have to know how to serve them. In other words, in different cultures service may be different (and probably is) than service in our own culture. Thus, it would be necessary to listen to people and to know them before we could truly serve them in ways that matter to them – in ways that impact their lives. Certainly, this does not mean that we should sit around doing nothing, but there is a learning process before serving becomes as effective as it could be. Also, I would never remove the important role of the Holy Spirit in this. The Spirit certainly leads us to serve people in ways that we may not understand, but in ways that may be extremely important to the ones being served.
The necessity of the process of learning to serve others is fairly obvious when serving people in foreign cultures. But, what about people in our own culture that may be from a different generation or have a different set of beliefs or even from a different background. Could it be that we miss opportunities to serve – and at others times offend people when we attempt to serve them – because we do not listen and learn about them before we begin to serve? We have attempted to serve some people who are older than us recently, without much success. Why? Because I don’t think we knew them enough to know how to serve them. Why didn’t we know them? We didn’t begin by listening to them.
Margaret reminded me that a few years ago, when we lived in another state, we were able to successfully serve some older ladies. We would spend time with them in their homes, listening to their stories, sharing tea and snacks. When she reminded me of this, I immediately thought, “That’s not serving! That’s just hanging out!” Of course, this is exactly the point of my post. To me, spending time talking with these ladies was just hanging out, but to them, it was serving them. We demonstrated our love for them by spending time with them. I viewed service differently than they did. They viewed service differently than me.
If I spent all of my time, energy, and resources serving them in the way that I wanted to be served, then I would have wasted much of that time, energy, and resources. Why? Because they were served by us being with them, not by us doing things for them.
I began to think about my son and daughter. In a few years, they will be living on their own. I wonder, what will they consider service? How will they serve others and how will others their age want to be served? What about the men and women who are several years younger than me today? What do they consider service?
Similarly, many times we try to serve people the way other Christians want to be served. But, what if our neighbors are not followers of Christ? What if our coworkers are not Christians? Do we serve them in the same way that we would serve Christians that we know? Or, should we actually spend time listening to them and getting to know them, so that we will know how to serve them?
I realize that this is obvious to many people. However, for those of us who are learning what it means to serve people who are different than us, then this may be something that we need to consider and contemplate. I know that my family is learning to serve others – especially those outside the body of Christ. We are thinking about what it means to serve and love those who are of a different ethnicity or cultural background, those from a different economic class, or even those with different beliefs. We want to provide a cup of cold water in a way that benefits them the most – not in ways that benefit us the most.
So, as we serve others, we must begin by listening to them and learning from them. We must get to know them. Then, we can serve them as God leads us and strengthens us – we can serve them in a way that brings God glory.
My Missional Daughter, Again
A couple of months ago, I wrote about an essay that my 11 year old daughter, Miranda, wrote for her writing class. The post was called “My Missional Daughter“. She wrote another essay about raking leaves on Sunday (see my post “Gathering and Going Out Together“). Here is her essay:
Sunday our family and some other people from our church went to a neighborhood, and raked some leaves for some families in that neighborhood. We were out there for a few hours, and raked about six or more yards. Even though we had to work it was really fun because we got to help out a lot of people.
I’m realizing that even if you do something small for someone it can mean a whole lot to him or her.
I’m very proud of my daughter. Neither my wife nor I gave her the idea to write about raking leaves. I’m glad that she’s learning how to love people as a demonstration of God’s love for her and for them.
Is love really most important?
Jonathan at “Missio Dei” wrote a very revealing quiz called “A Church Quiz“:
1. I would rather go to a church that:
(A) Had great worship
(B) There was love.2. I would rather go to a small group that:
(A) Had cool people.
(B) There was love.3. I would rather participate in community that:
(A) Had lots of programs
(B) There was love.4. I would rather attend a function that:
(A) Was hip and entertaining
(B) There was love.5. I would rather be led by:
(A) A really smart person.
(B) Someone who loved.
So… how did you do on the quiz?
Gathering and Going Out Together
Yesterday, we met with the church like we normally do on Sunday mornings. Someone led us in singing some songs. Someone read a chapter from the Bible. Someone taught. Several people shared exhortations. This happens every week, and God often uses this weekly meeting to encourage, convict, rebuke, admonish, teach, train, comfort me – and hopefully others.
Also, yesterday, we shared the Lord’s Supper. After our meeting we set out some tables and put some chairs around them. Someone talked about the significance of the bread and the cup as we took the elements. Then, we ate lunch together. We eat together every week, and specifically share the bread and the cup about once per month.
But, after our church meeting and after eating lunch together, we did something different. We had already been meeting together for just over four hours. But, the most exciting part of our church meeting was just about to begin.
Several of us changed clothes, and drove about a mile to a nearby government assisted housing project to rake leaves. As my regular readers know, my family and some other friends spend time in this neighborhood every Saturday. When Margaret (my wife) found out that no one raked leaves for this housing development, she asked if we could all go over on Sunday afternoon and rake leaves for them. Many of the residents are elderly, or in poor health, or single moms.
So, for a little over two hours – until it got dark – we raked leaves for the people that we knew in the neighborhood and for a few neighbors that we do not know… yet. We were able to talk to many of the neighbors while we were raking. We even sang “Amazing Grace” with one of the elderly ladies. Some of the children who lived in the neighborhood asked if they could help rake leaves. We also enjoyed piling up the leaves so the youngest children could jump in the piles!
At one point, a man who lives across the road from this government assisted housing development walked up. I met him, and he introduced himself. He asked if we were “a church group”. I explained that we were part of a church, and that we were raking leaves to help out some of our friends who live in this neighborhood.
He told me that he “goes to church”. He told me the name of the church. I know this church and many of the leaders. I’ve asked those leaders if they would like to do a service project together with us so that we could show the unity of Christ and the love of Christ together. They said that they would get back to me about it. I’m sure that they’ll get back to me one day.
Anyway, this man said that he was glad that we were doing something to help “those people”. He said that he often thought about doing something to help them, but he never seemed to have time. I told him that we were in the neighborhood every Saturday morning and that he was always welcomed to join us. He said, “ok” and went back into his house. How I wish he had come back with a rake to help us. But, he didn’t.
By the way, we ended up raking leaves for six different housing units (nine families).
While our group was raking leaves, another group from the church was also serving someone. One of our friends has a coworker who was trying to move out of her boyfriend’s house because she decided she was in a bad situation. My friend asked the church for help during our church meeting, and at least eight people helped this young lady move. Of those eight people, only one of them knew this young lady.
It is so exciting to be part of a church that actually serves people! And, we don’t just serve people that we know, or people who are part of the church, or people who can serve us back. We serve people who we may never see again, who we have never seen before. But, we serve people because we love them. And, we love people because God first loved us.
(If you would like to see some pictures of us raking leaves, I’ve posted some on our family blog in a post called “Raking Leaves With Friends For Friends“.)
Do we want to be associated with a Samaritan?
Back in May 2007, I published a post called “Do we want to be associated with a Samaritan?” This has remained one of my favorite posts that I’ve written. When Jesus told the parable of “The Good Samaritan”, he did something very confusing for the people of his time. He used a heretic as an example of someone who was obeying God. I wondered then, and I still wonder today, would we be willing to be associated with a heretic in order to obey God?
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Do we want to be associated with a Samaritan?
The greatest commandment, according to Jesus, is to love God. The second greatest commandment, which is like the first, is to love your neighbor as yourself. According to Jesus, the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments: love God and love your neighbor (Matthew 22:37-40).
But he [a lawyer], desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” (Luke 10:29-37 ESV)
This is a sweet, little story that we tell to our children in order to motivate them to take care of people. But, as I was thinking through some of the comments to my post “All people will know that you are my disciples…“, this parable kept coming to mind. Specifically, I wondered, “Why would Jesus choose a Samaritan to be the good example?”
Yes, I know the standard answers: Samaritans and Jews did not get along with one another, so the Samaritan demonstrated love to someone who he was not expected to love. (Notice, for example, that the “lawyer” even refused to speak the name “Samaritan” instead calling the man “the one who showed him mercy”.) This is a great lesson. But, is that the extent of Jesus’ lesson?
Who were the Samaritans? This is how the wikipedia article on the Samaritans begins:
The Samaritans (Hebrew: ×©×•×ž×¨×•× ×™×), known in the Talmud as Kuthim, are an ethnic group of the Levant. Ethnically, they are descended from a group of inhabitants that have connections to ancient Samaria from the beginning of the Babylonian Exile up to the beginning of the Christian era. The Samaritans, however, derive their name not from this geographical designation, but rather from the term ×©Ö·×žÖ¶×¨Ö´×™× (Shamerim), “keepers [of the law]â€. Religiously, they are the adherents to Samaritanism, a religion based on the Torah. Samaritans claim that their worship (as opposed to mainstream Judaism) is the true religion of the ancient Israelites, predating the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem.
Notice that the Samaritans were different from the Jews with regard to ethnicity, but they were also different from the Jews with regard to beliefs. The Jews thought that the Samaritans held to incorrect doctrine, while the Samaritans thought that the Jews held to incorrect doctrines. They were separated by both ethnicity and beliefs.
Adding this to our understanding of Jesus’ parable, I find it remarkable that Jesus used a Samaritan to demonstrate God’s true love. Emphatically, Jesus has both a Levite and a priest pass by the injured man without stopping. Remember, the Levites and the priests were responsible for guarding the true faith of Judaism. They were responsible for taking care of the temple and the sacrifices. Jesus himself seemed to agree with the Levites and priests with respect to beliefs. So, why did Jesus not use one whose “doctrine” is correct to also demonstrate God’s love? Or, to ask this in a contemporary way, why did Jesus choose a heretic as an example of love? Could it be that the Samaritan’s love demonstrates that he understands (knows) God better than the Levite or priest?
Belief is important. Teaching is important. Doctrine is important. But belief, teaching, and doctrine separate from an active demonstration of the love of God is not truly from God. Could it be that God is more pleased with “doctrinal deviants” who nevertheless love others than he is pleased with “orthodox believers” who do not show his love?
In other words, could it be that what we say we believe is not a good indication that we are disciples of Christ? Could it be that how we live is a better indication that we are followers of Christ? (I need to point out a great quote that Isabel from “amateur” shared in the comments section of a previous post: “What I say I believe is not what I believe; what I believe is what I do.” -Donald Miller.)
Now, please do not misunderstand the purpose of the post. You can call me “soft on doctrine” if you’d like, but it would only show that you don’t know me. I am not suggesting that we stop studying Scripture. I am not suggesting that we stop discussing the meaning of certain difficult passages. I am not suggesting that we stop developing theology. Instead, I am suggesting that these activities are worthless if we do not live what we believe at the same time.
In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the Samaritan understood this, while neither the Levite nor the priest understood it. Perhaps it is time for us to associate with the Samaritan – who correctly demonstrated God’s love – instead of the Levite and priest – who only had a correct system of beliefs without demonstrating God’s love.
Loving only from a distance
Last February, I published a poem by Jamey called “I am homeless” in a post called “God loves the homeless“. God used Jamey’s poem (among other things) to continue to move me out of an apathetic, loveless Christianity toward a life of demonstrating his love to others. I still have a long way to go, but I think I’m moving now.
I recently found out that Jamey now has her own blog called “A Life Transformed“. She recently published another poem called “Kept At A Distance“:
I was so lonely and needed your friendship
I really wanted to talk with you
But you didn’t have the time
You always kept me at a distanceYou were eager to give me food
But you would not sit with me at a meal
You did not want to sit with me for a while
You always kept me at a distanceYou spoke about the love of Jesus
but your actions spoke something else
Because the love of Jesus I know
Would not have kept me at a distance
Our family is learning to love people up close and personal, like I talked about recently in my post “No produce, just relationships“. We’re certainly not perfect. We make mistakes all the time. The difference now is that when we make mistakes, we’re already part of the people’s lives. We’re learning not to only love people from a distance.
Have you only been loving people from a distance? I don’t mean those people who are like you – act like you, live like you, look like you, smell like you, talk like you, believe like you, etc. I mean, other people – people who are different from you. Have you been keeping them at a distance?
Monday Surprise!
On Monday afternoons, I teach a computer class. Yesterday, when I returned to my office, a friend of mine (Thanks, Paul!) had left several bags of cupcake brownies wrapped and tied bows. He left a note that said that when these were given to him, he thought about our friend Cathy and her neighbors. He asked if we would deliver them. (See my post from yesterday, “No produce, just relationships” for more information about Cathy and her neighborhood.)
Margaret was already cooking dinner for Tina, one of Cathy’s neighbors who is having health problems. So, when we took Tina’s dinner to her Monday night, we also delievered the brownies to the people in the neighborhood on behalf of our friend Paul.
It was a great surprise to receive the brownies from Paul. It was also a great surprise to read in his note that he was thinking about Cathy and her neighbors. Then, it was another surprise to be able to visit with Cathy and her neighbors for a few minutes Monday night.
It’s called love
Andy from “The Narrow Road” wrote a stimulating post (at least for me) called “Maybe it’s just me“. He says:
There is something satisfying about having to come home after doing something for someone else and having to jump in the shower again because you got so grubby you didn’t feel you could be around real people anymore.
That’s the kind of morning and afternoon I had. It felt great. Even the dogs were pointing at the shower when I walked in the door.
And I am ready to go out and be human again now.
Just thought you should know this. Try it some time, you may like the feeling of working up a sweat for someone else for a change.
Like I told Andy in a comment, there’s a name for that grimy look and bad smell: it’s called love.
No produce, just relationships
At the beginning of the summer, our family and some friends began to visit a local government assisted housing development. Cathy, a friend of ours who is part of the church with us, introduced us to many of her neighbors, and we met other neighbors while spending time in the neighborhood.
When we started visiting the people in this neighborhood, we would take them small bags of fresh produce or fresh baked bread. Why? For several reasons. 1) The produce and bread were small tokens to demonstrate our concern for them. 2) Often charitable groups bring in old produce, breads, cookies, and cakes that other people would not buy. We wanted to give them something that anyone would want… not leftovers. 3) We wanted to give vegetables, fruit, and wheat bread to encourage a healthy lifestyle. 4) We were hoping the produce and bread would give us opportunities to serve them in other ways, including opportunities to proclaim the gospel.
A few weeks ago, the lady that runs the produce stand (Vivian – which is another story altogether) told us that the stand was closing. That morning, as we told the people in the neighborhood that the produce stand was closing, they all said about the same thing: “You’re still going to visit us, aren’t you?” Our weekly visits had turned into more than an opportunity to hand out produce. We had begun to build relationships with the neighbors.
So, throughout the week, I often find myself thinking about and praying for Cathy, Dennis, Tina, Mrs. Jeans, Shonna and her children (Marvin, Laruen, and Mya), Mrs. Woodlief and her son Benny, and Mrs. Fort. We’ve met a few other people in the neighborhood, but these are the ones with whom we usually spend the most time. These are the people who have opened their homes and their lives and have invited us in. (By the way, if you’re interested, we’ve posted some pictures from our visit last Saturday on our family blog in a post called “Friends and Family on Saturdays“.)
If you think about, please pray for Dennis. His father passed away last Friday, and the funeral is Monday.
And, pray for Cathy. She’s struggling with health issues – emphysema and back pain.
Also, pray for Tina. Tina’s son died from an overdose a couple of weeks ago. Tina ended up being hospitalized herself because of emotional issues a few days later. Now, she is dealing with several other issues related to her ex-husband and former care giver.
Pray for Mrs. Jeans. She had skin cancer on her ear last summer. The doctor removed part of her ear, but now something else is wrong. She has also been struggling with health issues, including a couple of weeks with the flu. Plus, her nephew is having family issues also.
If you ask Mrs. Woodlief, she’ll tell you to pray for everything. But, we know that her foot often hurts her, and she has to walk with a cane then.
And, Mrs. Fort will always tell her to pray for her knee. When the weather changes – which has happened alot lately – her knee hurts as well. If you think about it, also pray for the grandchildren and great-grandchildren who live with Mrs. Fort.
We can no longer offer these precious people fresh vegetables and fruit. We still carry fresh bread occasionally. But, they’ve let us know that they don’t want the produce and bread as much as they need the relationships. For many of them, we’re their only support system. We don’t have much to offer financially, but we can and do offer the love of God as often as possible.
Do you think there may be someone out there waiting for you to demonstrate the love of God? Why not start getting involved in someone’s life today?